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Session 1 has bee run and won..
- FIRST PRIZE (in a tie-breaker with plurple)
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PLURPLE: croatia player "where did that ball just come from?" Brazil player "there making there own balls now and pew that smells" takman2k: New laws allowed in the World Cup this year, Tattooed Balls. casperk66:Follow the ball, follow the balll !! nagerous: In the heat of the moment, Igor forgot he was at the World Cup and thought that he was back in the Zagreb theatre auditioning for Swan Lake
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PLURPLE:that ball hit me look at the mark it made learn to aim you tosser!!! TAK:Wave HI to the players, oh dear, all 5 fingers son! casper: Are fuc*^& blind REF NAG: Despite being a Feyenoord fan from Rotterdam, Clarence's pic was used worldwide online as an example of British football hooliganism starting at a young age
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PLURPLE:not a bad shot though i wasn't expecting it to go in. TAK: They took the ball away from me and didnt give it back. CASPER: I dont know Looked good to me NAG:Ronaldo was not impressed by Crouchy's sad robot dance following on from Rooney's sending off
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PLURPLE:looks like spider-man made an appearance and a disliking for this player. TAK: This years Webby Award goes to.. CASPER: It's goooood ! NAG: In the middle of a world cup semi final perhaps wasn't the most opportune time for Pedro to try and perfect his backwards roll
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PLURPLE:i will learn to score!! TAK: I hope his ball aim is better than this. CASPER: Aww to be me NAG: Resorting to desperate measures regarding his hair loss, Wayne thought spraying it with water would help it grow back faster like it was some plant life
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PLURPLE:that's mine you dirty rotten thief TAK: WWE/TNA Wrestling tryouts are next week, getting some practice in. CASPER: Gimmie thats mine NAG: Steve always had childhood dreams of being a WWF star. For a second there he actually thought he was 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin
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PLURPLE:fifa world cup 2014 Achievemnt unlocked TAK: Giving the old "Hee Haw" Sal...ute! CASPER:It is just a dream, just a dream NAG: 'This would never have happened on my watch' thought Nagerous, the former chat mod as a picture of an exposed bum was posted by a live chat moderator under the guise of a competition
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PLURPLE:football flopping champion 2014 TAK: So a horse walks into a bar... CASPER:Oh no you didn't NAG: Another falling warrior in the fight against Communism
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PLURPLE:i want my mummy Tak: We didnt do it, but if we did, try coming and get him. CASPER: Told you my ball NAG: The boys from the Croatian version of West Side Story circled their victim whilst side stepping to catchy rhythm and blues
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PLURPLE:for his and the other players safety he got a new look TAK: This picture was doctored, by a Vet maybe. CASPER: I'll bite you next fool NAG: Keep calm and muzzle Luis Suarez
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PLURPLE:some call it preferential treatment others like to watch and some are just glad it isn't them TAK: Sniff, this will get your energy up! CASPER: I dare you cross that line NAG: After running out of disappearing spray, the referee was forced to masturbate to finish the line. Luis Gustavo in particular was not impressed but Modric appeared to have 'fire in his eyes.'
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PLURPLE:this is soooooooo boring! why do we do this so often? TAK: Radio Disney is popular at the World Cup too. CASPER: I believe I can fly NAG: Louis Van Gaal didn't think much of the latest Miley Cyrus album pumping through his headphones. '3 out of 10' he thought to himself.
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PLURPLE:i managed to turn my broom invisible none of these muggles will notice TAK: Seaworld tryouts are after this game. CASPER: Damn hangovers NAG: 'I can make you fly' said the child of the forest in the latest episode of Game of Thrones. RVP unfortunately thought he could now fly after thinking the character on the show was talking to him and decided to test the theory out in the middle of a football match to the embarrassment of the crowd and his entire nation.
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PLURPLE:and that my friend is the secret technique of putting your foot through the ball TAK: Robin Leach throws out the 1st pitch, i mean kick during a game. CASPER:I'm as good as I ever was NAG: Sepp Blatter was in such a state of a self delusion that he believed himself good enough to take a penalty before scuffing it dramatically. The picture was quickly doctored by the FIFA mafia in an attempt to make himself seem graceful and elegant to not the best effect.
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PLURPLE:heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey TAK; Puberty is hitting earlier for kids these days, so they got their kids wearing Training Bras(il)'s. CASPER:Somebody do something NAG: After an influx of immigrants to Brazil from Scandinavian nations more and more Viking Brazilians sprogs had been appearing across the country.
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Session 2 is over:
plurple: aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh jdean1: We really blew (pun intended) that chance. takman2k:The rule about getting checked out before you play includes turning your head and coughing. dakky21: Don't try to do that again! Rob 1963: Look mum no hands
plurple: the ref seemed a little bemused by englands new strip though he could't tell who was modeling it. jdean1: Sorry I was looking for the pink man group performance... Were a blue man group tribute group. takman2k: The Pink Man Group will be the half way performers, however one mistakenly came on the field early. dakky21:That kind of kit is forbidden! Rob 1963: No E.T went home long ago,hes not here.
plurple: i hit a pair of balls. i should really work on my aim jdean1: Screw the soccer ball, let's play human ball. takman2k: Please deposit 50 cents or one foot for an ass-whoopin. dakky21:That's not what we agreed! Rob 1963: Now these are what im looking for.
plurple: i'll give him a hug while you give him some love jdean1: They wanted to win, enough to kill. takman2k: Sometimes you have to apply force to get the coins out. dakky21: Genocide. Rob 1963: Just lift him a little higher.
plurple: one player seems to have swapped there arms for legs nad maybe there head while they were at it as they seem to be stuck on the floor. jdean1: I realize that you love my play, but i didn't realized that you loved me. takman2k: ...And here we have the mating ritual of, lets move on people. dakky21: I love you man, I really do! Rob 1963: You will never catch me with four legs.
plurple: here comes a mexican player trying to blend in forgetting to take off his rather small hat jdean1: Who needs more luggage, all my soccer gear is in my sombrero. takman2k: They said there would be cervesas down here for the games. dakky21: Don't look like that at us, we have tickets! Rob 1963: I wanted to watch the game,but I sat behind this dude!
plurple: oh er should i touch him or let him fall but he's so handsome but the ball is right there oh er um. jdean1: Oh my, that is one superb flop. takman2k: Performing magic tricks on the field was a part time job for these players, and their levitation. dakky21: I didn't touch him, I swear! Rob 1963: See I can balance on a pole.
plurple: the new england team tryouts we thought chickens might be better than our lousy players jdean1: Don't be a chicken, kick the ball! takman2k: Cock fighting that IS legal. dakky21: I am Van Persie and I can fly! Rob 1963: And thats why i crossed the road
plurple: mind over matter and in my mind we won hehehehe jdean1: I look as crazy as my goal. I should do this professionally. takman2k: I do have a brain up here. dakky21: I've been to a dentist and he cut my hair also! Rob 1963: See my wig did stay on.
plurple: come on ref i need a hug that should have been a goal jdean1: Pointing is rude takman2k: Have you seen the ball, its about this size right here. dakky21: You must have this big balls! Rob 1963: New zealand showed us to hakka like this
plurple: is the world cup that may mister? also can we have our ball back? jdean1: I was playing and the war zone line wasn't obvious and, how bout we call it a yellow card and you let me off? takman2k: You can come over and play once youre done with your service. dakky21: Real Madrid camp is in that way. Rob 1963: You think the armys tough? go play against them guys.
plurple: kaw just the spot. harder harder! jdean1: I'm sorry! Bro I was just kidding. Don't hit me th... OMG cleats were a terrible idea. takman2k: Oops, wrong ball. dakky21: Manslaugher. Rob 1963: So glad I have kids already'
plurple: player in white: my nose my nose he hit my nose ref: he barely came within a meter of you jdean1: That's my good side Darnt. takman2k: Ref, this person hit me in the face. Here, i can slow him down for you. dakky21: He hit me in the shirt!!! Rob 1963: OMG I will never wear # 13 again.
plurple: who's team is he on again i don't remember which of us chose to play as fur and which as skins jdean1: I'm the woof-eree takman2k: "Who let the dogs out?" dakky21: Give me the ball you assholes! Rob 1963: Are You Suarez indisguise ?
plurple:it wasn't me ref it was the ball it hit him on purpose. honest jdean1: He has done very well in Neymar Flopping 101, but did he have to use it against me? takman2k: I cant believe this guy is down on the ground again. Someone get this pussy off the field please? dakky21: I only look like Nishimura Rob 1963: Now about that Brazilian wax you wanted,
Third - 3 way tie: plurple, jdean1 and takman2k
10:16:35 ‹Ace Rimmer› haven't looked at work in ages
10:42:43 ‹Sackett58› fine, I'll take my panties elsewhere
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Dukasaur: No, I don't think you have worms. Next...." jdean1: Can you eat a few less hamburgers.... You're getting heavy. takman2k: Do these shorts make my butt look big? dakky21:Don't touch me you pervert! jonofperu : Bend over like Beckham
DUK: "I haven't been the same since I got hit with that ball four years ago..." jd: Kim Jong said paint the ball on my face, so I did. Nobody betrays Mr. Un, nobody. tak: His teammates asked him to get real close to the ball during this late April Fools Joke. dak: Korean Mickey Mouse! jono:When a soccer fan woges (Grimm reference)
DUK:"Finally a ball big enough for the referees to see!" jd:I had my cocaine like always.... It doesn't usually make me shrink like this. tak: "I like big balls and i cannot lie, you other brothers cant deny..." dak:Trying to defleat it but it won't go! jono:Easier for an American striker to connect
DUK:"How come it's not so hard when Peter Pan does it?" jd:Neymar's Flopping Academy has taught me well. 4/5 stars tak: I know im breaking something here on the way down. dak:Landing in 3,2,1... jono:The sport that makes grown men cry
DUK:"I have gas. Oxygen is a gas. You need oxygen." jd: I am now employing the test to see if you're faking the injury. I see you took the butt to face test (copyright 2014), we will treat you now. tak:Rookie mistake, "No thanks, ill get out and walk. dak:Saved this fart just for you... jono:Sitting down on the job… err patient
DUK: "Penalty kicks weren't like this back home..." jd: The Wall: "Mommy! He kicked the ball at me!" tak: New crossover rap group tryouts. dak:Execution by firing squad jono:Fear is the path to the losing side (Yoda)
DUK:"I haven't felt this good since Thermopylae!" jd: Our economy is screwed, but somehow our football team isn't. tak: Tonga Bros from WWE come visit a World Cup game dak:No one can beat us.... except the opponents! jono:When you bulk up too much to play, paint your face
DUK:"The merging of the minds" jd:The ball looked squishier farther away. tak: Things that make you go... Ow! dak:Your slow in face motion jono:I should have stuck to squash
DUK: "Goal!" jd:Touchdown!!!!! I mean goal. #MostAmericanFansDontGetSoccer tak: Beer from heaven! Oh Yeah!! dak:My dentist is so great! jono:You have two ears, one mouth so listen more… or open your mouth wider OR Into an open mouth a fly enters (Chinese proverb) (Ignore the second if you don't want 2 for any)
DUK:"My nose can beat your whole god-damn team!!!!" jd: I snot in your general direction. (reference to Monty Python) tak:Oh yeah?? Watch this talent... i can do the 'pick, roll, flick'. dak:Eat this mofo! jono:This bugger is throwing my game off
DUK:"I'm told kissing a fool brings good luck!" jd: I'll kiss it to make it better. tak: Love thy neighbor, even though youll kick or trip him on the next play. dak:Your head smells different... jono:Kiss and make the PK
DUK:"What? One look at the size of my equipment and you just surrender?" jd: Blue Guy: I knocked one of them down and then they started doing a spider thing.... Are spiders even FIFA eligible? And no, I don't know what happen to the other four limbs. tak: What! What!, thats right, i took all 3 of you at once!" dak:Triple-kill Fatality! jono:I don’t know… they were like this when I got here!
DUK:"If we can't win at soccer, maybe we can win at Synchronized Jumping?" jd:Weeee! We all took speed!!! Weeeee! tak: The team was so excited to see Ghostbusters III coming out in theatres soon. dak: Odd numbers in the air! We prepared for this! jono:That feeling you have when it goes in the net… walking on air
DUK: "My arms are longer than your legs!" jd: Its like Harry Potter vs Voldemort, Avada Kedavra style! tak:Ok your turn to go under the bar... Limbo Time! dak: Noooooo the ball is mine!!!! jono:Group yoga therapy for deep-seated keeper-striker conflict
DUK:"If Americans can figure it out, surely we can too!" jd: I snout he will hog the ball, when they pass the ball they have a leg up on the competition. tak:This would be a nice concept, except they kept squeeling at the refs. dak:Even Pig Babe can play football! jono:"Porking" : to actively hunt for pigs in their natural habitat
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