Well Heck; I want one too.
A low, very low ranking player, willing to play exactly as I say and never miss any turns.
Must be willing to confide in me their password just in case and not afraid to speak up if they have any suggestions to make even if it may not sound all that smart. In other words I want a talker that will talk me to death. LOL.
Must have read my article, "Important Principles to Communicate in Team Games"
and understand and agree with it!
In return I promise to share in agonizing details in the form of very long and very concise emails, "Love Letters" (LOL), the secrets of my success and all strategy ideas and the basis of them.
Also if you are a reasonably attractive, mature female (such as below) who actually graduated high school or holds a valid USA G.E.D. (General Equivalency Diploma), that would work as well.
Or if you just want some free advice on your games you can just PM me and not have to play on my team. LOL.