Conquer Club

I was scrolling through the Club today and noticed that there are a lot of shitty games out there that are just waiting to be joined. I like trying to learn some of the newer maps but when I go looking to find a good game to join on that map, I just can't find it. Do people really get enjoyment from making shitty games that are just designed to dupe some poor f*ck just looking to have a good time?

Some of the ones that make my list of shitty map/setting combo are the ones that pervert the natural game plan from actually trying to win a game to not losing it. A common one that I see is the classic "fog and trench on conquest style and/or semi complex maps." You can throw in the manual and/ or freestyle monkey wrench into the equation if you really want to create a shitty game. All this really appears to be is some set-up to get somebody to misdeploy in round 1 and seal victory for the team that doesn't. There are of course some maps that are exceptions to this guideline, but for the most part, it appears that the actual amount of strategy used in game is less and more heavily centered towards the first 2-3 rounds rather than over the course of a full game.

A couple of discussion questions that arise from this are:
1. If two parties that both know the shitty settings well are playing a game, is it actually enjoyable, or does it turn into a "I hope I go first and get good dice" plan?
2. What are some of the shittiest maps/settings combos that you have experienced?

There's a lot of combinations I hate, but I think the worst I ever played was Adjacent No Spoils on Pelo War. Most of your troops are sitting useless ten miles from the front, and if you need them at the front it can be a dreary 10-turn wait while they stagger forward.

That being said, I think every setting has a map that it belongs on. Fog and Trench can be terrible on conquest-type maps, but I think Fog and Trench can be positively exhilarating on non-conquest maps with many small bonuses -- Baltic Crusades and Fragmented China being two examples off the top of my head.

Dukasaur wrote:There's a lot of combinations I hate, but I think the worst I ever played was Adjacent No Spoils on Pelo War. Most of your troops are sitting useless ten miles from the front, and if you need them at the front it can be a dreary 10-turn wait while they stagger forward.

That being said, I think every setting has a map that it belongs on. Fog and Trench can be terrible on conquest-type maps, but I think Fog and Trench can be positively exhilarating on non-conquest maps with many small bonuses -- Baltic Crusades and Fragmented China being two examples off the top of my head.

Pelo war, trench, no spoils, adj, fog, manual, seq. as a 3 man game

NoSurvivors wrote:

Dukasaur wrote:There's a lot of combinations I hate, but I think the worst I ever played was Adjacent No Spoils on Pelo War. Most of your troops are sitting useless ten miles from the front, and if you need them at the front it can be a dreary 10-turn wait while they stagger forward.

That being said, I think every setting has a map that it belongs on. Fog and Trench can be terrible on conquest-type maps, but I think Fog and Trench can be positively exhilarating on non-conquest maps with many small bonuses -- Baltic Crusades and Fragmented China being two examples off the top of my head.

Pelo war, trench, no spoils, adj, fog, manual, seq. as a 3 man game

that would be a never ending game

Classic. Any settings. Although 5P terminator escalting is bad.

my standard games

New World, Feudal, Pelopo... standard, manual, freestyle, esc, sunny..

these would fall under your heading I would think.. I play them because I'm skilled at them, and fast and enjoy running around on them... those maps mitigate drop issues and minimize dice influences.. I could start them on auto deploy I suppose, but it wouldn't make much of a difference to me or the people that join them.. just used to manual...

God I absolutely hate. HATE. Nuclear Trench games. If you get nuked you can't do anything about it. If your bonus gets nuked and you cannot take it back it might be a long game...

Eight man hive trench, foggy with no spoils.

That's what you're going to end up playing in hell when you get there.
( Your dice will remain as is.

Johnny Rockets

Das Schloss, 8 players, no spoils, fog, trench, adjacent, ASSASSIN.

Worse thing ever is feudal war assassin trench escalating. The only way to end it is to bore people to death. You cannot reach the castle, you keep on getting bombed with insane amount of troops. Just try it!

betiko wrote:Worse thing ever is feudal war assassin trench escalating. The only way to end it is to bore people to death. You cannot reach the castle, you keep on getting bombed with insane amount of troops. Just try it!

LOL... I just imagined playing that game... good lord... no thanks....

Thats a good one.


Dude, make that Hive game sunny and it will go forever too.

Yeah, I have to agree with the OP. Conquest maps on fog/trench are completely shitty, and usually it's a race for who can get there first. I refuse to play those. Sure, you have as good a chance of winning as the opponent so long as you do your research, but dang... nope! Not unless I have to go to the trouble for a clan game or something.

USA 21 trench fog adjacent no spoils
Pot Mosbi trench fog adjacent no spoils

i dont see a point why ppl play and what sorta taste they get from it

rhp 1 wrote:

betiko wrote:Worse thing ever is feudal war assassin trench escalating. The only way to end it is to bore people to death. You cannot reach the castle, you keep on getting bombed with insane amount of troops. Just try it!

LOL... I just imagined playing that game... good lord... no thanks....

You'd have to get someone to deadbeat, 2 times to even win...

Circus Maximus and trench..

ManBungalow wrote:Circus Maximus and trench..

Really, circus maximus in anything other than escalating.

Jdsizzleslice wrote:

rhp 1 wrote:

betiko wrote:Worse thing ever is feudal war assassin trench escalating. The only way to end it is to bore people to death. You cannot reach the castle, you keep on getting bombed with insane amount of troops. Just try it!

LOL... I just imagined playing that game... good lord... no thanks....

You'd have to get someone to deadbeat, 2 times to even win...

I played it 4 players until they all decided to deadbeat. I had to kill red who was 3 rounds away from getting killed by me; but with his deadbeat i didn t reach him on time and changed for blue target. He deadbeated and couldn t reach him either so it ended in a 1v1 vs green. The most ridiculous game i ve played.

That made me ask the following question; who wins a round limit assassin, the guy with the most troops or the guy whose target has the leadt troops?

Freestyle Speed, any map

Luxemburg or doodle 6 or + players...just pathetic

you can have a lot of fun and strategic in Circus maximus, playing it no spoils , foggy trench , specially with nukes to add some speed

betiko wrote:Worse thing ever is feudal war assassin trench escalating. The only way to end it is to bore people to death. You cannot reach the castle, you keep on getting bombed with insane amount of troops. Just try it!

Adding on that...
Eight Player Feudal Epic, Assassin, Manual, Sequential, Nuclear, Adjacent, Trench, Foggy. Five minute speed.
Or, make it a one minute speed and escalating spoils. Your choice.

Nuclear Spoils is only slightly worse than No Spoils on any map as far as I am concerned.

=D13=