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Naked Pronouns

Postby Wolffystyle on Thu May 03, 2012 6:01 pm

Lubawski wrote:
Wolffystyle wrote:
targetman377 wrote:how has this not been moved yet :-s

Targetman377, please advise me as to what the pronoun in your sentence refers? Do you ask about the global economy or your penis? I will answer immediately.


Oh wolffy, he is clearly talking about his penis. Any time someone leaves a naked pronoun like "this" in their question, it must, by default, refer to reproductive organs.

Lubawski, you are the English teacher I never had. Thank you! I would feel more at home if your notes were handwritten in scrappy and illegible red ink; if you wrote "DQN'T EVN TR7!" atop my posts. They would be excited if you would follow me around the forums and grade every post. Also, I was talking about my private parts in the last sentence. That was really hard. But you like it. :-$
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moe wrote:Matted with hair, armed to the teeth, swift as the noble beast his screen name so "lovingly" embodies.. . ..

Wielding a hot dog in one hand and a fedora in the other. . . . .
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wolfystyle and miss cougarstyle?

Postby Wolffystyle on Thu May 03, 2012 6:23 pm

swimmerdude99 wrote:Has wolfystyle found his mate? Or is he still searching for miss cougarstyle?

Mr. Swimmerdude99, the community thanks your for your interest in Mr. wolfystyle's love life, but Mr. wolfystyle (one f, lowercase w) is not real; he was invented by the greeting card companies.

You see, along time ago, the Hegemony of the International Greeting Cards met in a secret underground lair (fit with torches and gargoyles and torture devices and whatnot, you get the picture) and devised a secret plan to create a wolfystyle to increase the global demand for greeting cards. Creating a salient image of a lone wolf, forever without mate, in the public's eyes quadrupled sales and pushed the United E-Card Conglomerate back into the red, 'where those hacks belonged'.

Because of this collusion, wolfystyle will forever be trapped and alone, buried deep inside of web of corporate lies, theft, and sappy 'Congratulations on not catching my Shingles' themed cards.

Miss cougarstyle was destined for a great mating cycle with Mr. wolfystyle, and when she was left unfulfilled she mauled and ate 3.5 school children in southern Colorado. But you don't see this information on the H.I.G.C.'s agenda, do you?
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moe wrote:Matted with hair, armed to the teeth, swift as the noble beast his screen name so "lovingly" embodies.. . ..

Wielding a hot dog in one hand and a fedora in the other. . . . .
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Re: Ask Wolffystyle

Postby jj3044 on Thu May 03, 2012 9:33 pm

... are you back?!?! ;)

If so... =D>
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Re: Ask Wolffystyle

Postby Victor Sullivan on Fri May 04, 2012 5:40 am

Dear Wolffystyle,

Do you think the "Wild Things" are in "Where The Wild Things Are" or "General Discussion"? Or are they elsewhere?

-Sully
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What is Love?

Postby Wolffystyle on Fri May 04, 2012 9:27 am

Ninja Champion wrote:Dear Wolffystyle,

With the talk of mates, love and whatnot. I was curious, what is love? Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me... no more.

A fabulous question Ninja Champion, and, as always, thanks for asking. I know that your question was asked in September 2011 but, even in our post-apocalyptic world of 2012, it remains pertinent. Though the talk of mates, love and whatnot has all but been buried forever, we still see signs of and evidence to the existence of such things.

2011 was a simpler time when people could freely talk about mates, love, and the all-important inclusive whatnot. The 2012-world is a little bit different, it's more complex, it contains more of this and less of this, and it also has an extra 2 in it's Gregorian year number (So, too does the current year on the Hebrew Calendar). While perplexing and convoluted, 2012 still shows traces of the existence of mates, love and whatnot and you just have to look really, really hard. Look deep. Into my eyes. Oh, I don't know, what can I do. What else can I say, it's up to you. I know we're one, just me and you. I can't go on. Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh...

Also, love doesn't exist in any form. Love is simply the name we give to 'the absence of hate'. So, Ninja, I don't hate you. A LOT. I won't hate you forever, and ever, and ever, and ever. I will not hate you until the end of time.
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moe wrote:Matted with hair, armed to the teeth, swift as the noble beast his screen name so "lovingly" embodies.. . ..

Wielding a hot dog in one hand and a fedora in the other. . . . .
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Love and Shampoo bottles

Postby Wolffystyle on Fri May 04, 2012 9:35 am

BYUwonder11 wrote:
Ninja Champion wrote:Dear Wolffystyle,

With the talk of mates, love and whatnot. I was curious, what is love? Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me... no more.


Bless you my favorite Ninja for posting that after just arriving at work and listening to it on the way there. It is fate that we're a team in this great world of risk! =D>

Let Wolffystyle-san ask YOU a question, BYUwonder11, and search deep into your Soul you must. (I am assuming you drive a Kia Soul and that your Haddaway cover mixes are still hiding under its seats somewhere) Which cover version of Haddaway's What Is Love? did you listen to on that fateful morning? Did you listen to this or did you listen to this.

Also, this question is for the Universe: Am I the only one who immediately starts thinking about Shampoo Bottles when I byuwonder what is love?

Universe: "No, King Herpes does too."
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moe wrote:Matted with hair, armed to the teeth, swift as the noble beast his screen name so "lovingly" embodies.. . ..

Wielding a hot dog in one hand and a fedora in the other. . . . .
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Re: What is Love?

Postby The Voice on Fri May 04, 2012 9:52 am

Wolffystyle wrote:Though the talk of mates, love and whatnot has all but been buried forever, we still see signs of and evidence to the existence of such things.


Is your modifier dangling? If it is, are you just going to let it hang there?
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Ninja's Pants

Postby Wolffystyle on Fri May 04, 2012 10:04 am

Denise wrote:Dear Wolffystlye,

Where are Ninja's pants?

My forever estranged and star-crossed lover (read: not star-crossed hater (sometimes stylized h8ter)) Denise, with excitement I bask in the brilliance of this question. Thanks for asking it!

I must consult the stars for the answer to this questions. Hold on. Wait. Uh huh. Yep. No. Darnit! Turns out all the stars are crossed.

Now, I must resort to the scientific method to answer this question. My hypothesis is that Ninja's pants are at trapped with a genie on a deserted island. My null hypothesis is that Ninja never had pants in the first place.

Unfortunately, my mom won't let me conduct science experiments in her basement anymore so I'll have to construct a moving lab in a friend's parent's RV. Let's see. Two drops magnesium... one gallon mercury... a dash of paprika...

...add two snail's tails,
and the song of twenty whales,
the kidneys of a viscous Vampire Bat,
finish with the filmography of actor Benjamin Bratt...

Let sit for 24 hours and I'll have my conclusions tomorrow. Check back. I'd advise Ninja to check back too, as he's probably a bit chilly.
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moe wrote:Matted with hair, armed to the teeth, swift as the noble beast his screen name so "lovingly" embodies.. . ..

Wielding a hot dog in one hand and a fedora in the other. . . . .
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Re: Ask Wolffystyle

Postby Agent 86 on Fri May 04, 2012 3:26 pm

Wolf, I need to ask..did nietzsche really have phone sex with Lack, and if so who got off the most ?

http://www.conquerclub.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=170266

Just curious to see if it really happened :lol:


86
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Re: Ask Wolffystyle

Postby ljex on Fri May 04, 2012 5:45 pm

why did you elect to stop beginning the answer to every question with

Good question _______(insert players username here), thank you for asking it. The answer may surprise you.
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Re: Ask Wolffystyle

Postby natty dread on Sat May 05, 2012 10:32 am

Dear Wolffystyle,

We only see the side of you that's funny and makes these funny little "Ask Alice" -type threads on GD. We see the facade you put on for the masses, the one that says "hey, it's all fun and games over here". But who are you beneath the surface? What makes you happy? What makes you sad? What are your hopes and dreams?

Who is the Real Wolffystyle?

Sincerely,
Curious Reader
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Prune Alike Projections Amidst Midriffs

Postby Wolffystyle on Sat May 05, 2012 12:05 pm

Findolphin wrote:Wolffstyle? Me observes a prune alike projection amidst your midriff. What trickery is this?

What a good question, Findolphin, thanks for asking it. The answer may surprise you.

First, on behalf of Lubawski and the entire Conquer Club community, I thank you for using a naked pronoun in your question. This allows us to talk about your reproductive organs.

Second, I look at your observation. Understanding the context to this question is vitally important to solving it. You're a dolphin. Ye hath descried a prune alike projection amidst my midriff whilst I was bathing in wherever it is that dolphins also bathe. A water theme park, maybe? Swaziland? I'm gonna guess we were under water.

Third, I reference this earlier post where I explain that I do not have a belly button. It is a weakness. Therefore, this prune alike projection couldn't have been something as gross as an Owenator's outtie. No, it must've been flotsam, jetsam, or a prune itself, floating between your line of dolphin-sight and my midriff.

Finally, on to your naked pronoun and question. THAT is not a function of trickery, but rather increased blood flow due to arousal. It's science. And most likely occurred when you saw flotsam amidst my midriff. :---)
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moe wrote:Matted with hair, armed to the teeth, swift as the noble beast his screen name so "lovingly" embodies.. . ..

Wielding a hot dog in one hand and a fedora in the other. . . . .
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Re: Ninja's Pants

Postby Denise on Sat May 05, 2012 1:01 pm

Wolffystyle wrote:
Denise wrote:Dear Wolffystlye,

Where are Ninja's pants?

My forever estranged and star-crossed lover (read: not star-crossed hater (sometimes stylized h8ter)) Denise, with excitement I bask in the brilliance of this question. Thanks for asking it!

I must consult the stars for the answer to this questions. Hold on. Wait. Uh huh. Yep. No. Darnit! Turns out all the stars are crossed.

Now, I must resort to the scientific method to answer this question. My hypothesis is that Ninja's pants are at trapped with a genie on a deserted island. My null hypothesis is that Ninja never had pants in the first place.

Unfortunately, my mom won't let me conduct science experiments in her basement anymore so I'll have to construct a moving lab in a friend's parent's RV. Let's see. Two drops magnesium... one gallon mercury... a dash of paprika...

...add two snail's tails,
and the song of twenty whales,
the kidneys of a viscous Vampire Bat,
finish with the filmography of actor Benjamin Bratt...

Let sit for 24 hours and I'll have my conclusions tomorrow. Check back. I'd advise Ninja to check back too, as he's probably a bit chilly.


Dear Wolffystyle,

Please be careful. The unpredictable results of that same concoction is what enabled Pastor Samuel to track me and nearly be the instrument of my demise, back in 1692. I barely escaped Massachusetts with my life. I do appreciate your willingness to attempt such a risky experiment on my behalf. When you have the answer (and the pants), please meet me behind the huge old Elm tree about 1/2 mile east of the open field with that little stream running thru it? <<< my question. Don't tell Ninja! He owes me his share of DECSF*, and I need some leverage.

Forever your forever estranged and star-crossed lover,

Denise

* Denise's Emergency Clothing & Shoe Fund
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Re: Ask Wolffystyle

Postby Army of GOD on Sat May 05, 2012 3:30 pm

Dear Wolffystyle,

what's the best way to ask natty dread out?

Love, anonymous
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Re: Ask Wolffystyle

Postby Pirlo on Sat May 05, 2012 4:36 pm

Dear Wolffystyle,

What should I do if my penis got itchy in public? like in an overcrowded metro!!!
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