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Re: Ask Wolffystyle

Postby donkeymile on Sat May 05, 2012 11:11 pm

Dear Wolffystyle,

A couple of question I'd like to ask, and beg for the mercy of your wisdom to bestow itself upon them.

Last night I blasted a blank CD in my apartment. Why did the mime next door go crazy?????

Secondly, Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

And last, for now ....

A massless box is being pulled up a frictionless incline at an angle of 40º above the horizontal by a tensionless string wrapped around a massless pulley. A forceless tug is exerted on the tensionless string, causing a directionless acceleration of 3.8 turkeys per cantaloupe squared. If the massless box travels 7.293x10^0 microdoodles, what time will it be in England when the prime minister next says the word "hopscotch?"
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Re: Ask Wolffystyle

Postby Agent 86 on Sun May 06, 2012 1:29 pm

It's simple he is inundated with questions and he is god..take a card and join the queue..

86
Last edited by Agent 86 on Thu May 30, 2013 12:45 am, edited 1 time in total.
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The Big One

Postby Wolffystyle on Mon May 07, 2012 9:15 am

Crazyirishman wrote:Wolfy, do you know what 'the big one' that bruce is so coyly keeping to himself refers to?

Crazyirishman, a good question, thanks for asking it. The answer june surprise you.

Bruceswar had openly touted major changes in October of 2011 and he left the conquer club community with many questions, great impatience and, sexy speculation.

Wolffystyle must admit that he, himself, was amid the tumult when he guessed that Bruceswar was referring to second big bang creating a second coexistent universe or resulting in the destruction of the present universe. When Wolffystyle asked the stars, they locked their lips and threw away the keys. This only added to the expectancy.

Well, hindsight, as the Northern Irish say, is 20/20, and we've found out that Bruce was actually talking about the European Debt Crisis with specific regard to the Prime Ministry appointment of Grecian Lucas Papademos. What hadn't been exposed was that Bruceswar IS Lucas Papademos.

Foreshadowing can be seen here and here. Bruce (a.k.a. Big Bad Papa Demos) wanted the conquer club community to know that he would be heading the Greek rally out of debt in the fourth quarter of 2011. The 3D Cube is obviously a reference to Greek's exaggeration of it's debt levels.

Congratulations to Bruceswar and to his entire sovereign Greek nation. May you prosper in the near future.

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(tl;dr) "The Big One" Bruce was referring to was his penis.
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Wielding a hot dog in one hand and a fedora in the other. . . . .
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Blood as a Lubricant

Postby Wolffystyle on Mon May 07, 2012 9:39 am

Army of GOD wrote:Dear Wolffystyle,

you're trapped on a deserted island with me. Would you:

(a) have sex with me?
(b) kill me and then have sex with me, using my blood as lubricant?
(c) take the physical challenge?

natty dread wrote:Blood is not a functional lubricant, AoG!

anonymus wrote:on a side note; would that also mean that the blood from someone with hemophilia will work as a grade A lubricant?/ :?:

natty dread wrote:Well, there's only one way to find out, isn't there?

anonymus wrote:yes that is true.. ASK WOLFFYSTYLE! so? would it?/ :?:

Uhhhhh, good questions (read: scary questions) anonymus, natty dread and Army of GOD, thanks for asking them. I'm sure the answers won't surprise you.

Grouping this entire conversation into one thread is a good decision. Throwing it into the rubbish would have been a better decision, but Wolffy doesn't do that. Wolffy rescues questions from compost piles, trash bins, from hiding under rocks, from the bellies of great whales, from internet forums and from inside the minds of little boy's heads (all these places are NOT MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE).

So digging deep inside the rubbish bin in the belly of the whale which lies inside your young minds as you type in an internet forum as you lay with worms and dirt under a small rock, I have found the answers to your questions. My hands are as dirty as your minds.

Army, I have chosen (c) take the physical challenge. The physical challenge, we all knew, was 'Don't kill Army of GOD while having sex with him and still using his blood as lubricant'.

From this experience (read: rapturous ravaging romp) I have found the answer to your questions. It does turn out that AoG has hemophilia and that his blood worked as grade A lubricant. The lack of clotting mixed with the warmth of...well... Wolffy doesn't kiss and tell. So I'll leave a lot up to your imagination, which, if it's hiding under a rock, in a trash bin, or navigating the belly of an online whale, will be quite accurate.
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(tl;dr) Having bloody sex with a hemophile is quite dangerous and rapturous. DO NOT TRY IT AT HOME. Try it on a deserted island.
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moe wrote:Matted with hair, armed to the teeth, swift as the noble beast his screen name so "lovingly" embodies.. . ..

Wielding a hot dog in one hand and a fedora in the other. . . . .
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Re: Ninja's Pants

Postby Wolffystyle on Mon May 07, 2012 10:04 am

Denise wrote:
Wolffystyle wrote:
Denise wrote:Dear Wolffystlye,

Where are Ninja's pants?

...Let sit for 24 hours and I'll have my conclusions tomorrow. Check back. I'd advise Ninja to check back too, as he's probably a bit chilly.


Dear Wolffystyle,

Please be careful. The unpredictable results of that same concoction is what enabled Pastor Samuel to track me and nearly be the instrument of my demise, back in 1692. I barely escaped Massachusetts with my life. I do appreciate your willingness to attempt such a risky experiment on my behalf. When you have the answer (and the pants), please meet me behind the huge old Elm tree about 1/2 mile east of the open field with that little stream running thru it? <<< my question. Don't tell Ninja! He owes me his share of DECSF*, and I need some leverage.

Forever your forever estranged and star-crossed lover,

Denise

* Denise's Emergency Clothing & Shoe Fund

Good question, Benise, thank you for asking it. The answer may surprise you.

Brop made. Reab the note dackwarbs dut replace all the bs with ds and ds with bs (I screweb something up). Sorry the pants were a dit "moist". If you folb the pants up compactly and tightly you may de adle to webge them unber your caulbron at the Coven to use them as abbed leverage. Spilling the contents of your caulbron onto Ninja Champion will bowngrabe him to Ninja Runner Up and when you boudle tap R2 you can steal his golb and use it to funb the solutions to other BECSF mysteries.

Like, what is still in Deckythedlondie's pants, or why is that man wearing a dright red cowboy hat and leopard print jock strap, or how bib I get ketchup on my febora?
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(tl;br) I cannot share where Ninja's pants were. Benise has them now. They are safe. Bo not reab this sentence if you're byslexic.
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moe wrote:Matted with hair, armed to the teeth, swift as the noble beast his screen name so "lovingly" embodies.. . ..

Wielding a hot dog in one hand and a fedora in the other. . . . .
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Am I back?

Postby Wolffystyle on Wed May 09, 2012 9:50 am

jj3044 wrote:... are you back?!?! ;)

If so... =D>

jj3044, good question, and thanks for asking it. The answer may disappoint you.

I've spent the last 6 months in top secret North Korean Air Space training. My commander Choi let me out of the bowels of 해골 섬 (Haegol Seom) (Skull Island) just two weeks before my next mission to say goodbye to family and friends.

You see, as and adviser to the North Koreans under The Supreme Leader Kim Jong-eun, I have concluded that all Air-Space initiatives be Dragon focused.

Here is an image of me in testing at Haegol Seom:
Image

Unfortunately, my analysis also concludes that I will most likely die a violent dragon-related death if I am not marooned at sea on a deserted island with Army of GOD or Beckytheblondie first.

So, I am only back for a limited time. Like Emmdizzle's conqueror rank, or like a McRib.

My last request. Feed Albi for me. He's a racist dragon, but he's a good dragon nonetheless.
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(tl;dr): Lyrics NSFW and Video's lyrics still NSFW
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moe wrote:Matted with hair, armed to the teeth, swift as the noble beast his screen name so "lovingly" embodies.. . ..

Wielding a hot dog in one hand and a fedora in the other. . . . .
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Where are the Wild Things?

Postby Wolffystyle on Wed May 09, 2012 10:13 am

Victor Sullivan wrote:Dear Wolffystyle,

Do you think the "Wild Things" are in "Where The Wild Things Are" or "General Discussion"? Or are they elsewhere?

-Sully

Sully, a timely question, and thank you for asking it. The answer may surprise you.

Yesterday, Maurice Sendak, the author of the children's book "Where the Wild Things Are" was finally able to rest in peace.

If you're interested in the life of Maurice Sendak and the story behind his works, here's a nice story from The Atlantic that just came out in commemoration of his life. I just read the title. Let me know if the rest of the article is any good.

Sully, you have to understand that scaring children is an incredibly fun thing to do! Yesterday, I went to the zoo, paid a sum of money to buy a ticket to sit in the fifth row of the Dolphin Show and sat back at to watch little children scream in horror when the dolphins splashed the first four rows in an act that can only be called 'vengeance'. Parents had to console bawling little children for minutes, fathers had to speedily dry off their electronics, older siblings had to recall times when dolphins were not so devilish and they had to cling on to those memories.

I laughed. Aloud. Conspicuously.

Seeing little children cry was the highlight of my trip to the zoo. I am not a bad person, Sully. I am a person. I am a person who understands that scaring little children is a propitious act.

My point is, then, that the Wild Things are everywhere. They are in all of our forums, in our dreams, in our questions, in our answers, in our nightmares. They are in our shampoo bottles. The Wild Things are ubiquitous and so are Maurice Sendak's stories.

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tl;dr: Maurice Sendak's wildest thing was a dolphin, censored from his book, but it remains fervently alive inside the cracks of your electronics.
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moe wrote:Matted with hair, armed to the teeth, swift as the noble beast his screen name so "lovingly" embodies.. . ..

Wielding a hot dog in one hand and a fedora in the other. . . . .
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Dangling Modifiers

Postby Wolffystyle on Wed May 09, 2012 10:27 am

The Voice wrote:
Wolffystyle wrote:Though the talk of mates, love and whatnot has all but been buried forever, we still see signs of and evidence to the existence of such things.


Is your modifier dangling? If it is, are you just going to let it hang there?

A good question, The Voice. Thank you for asking it, the answer may surprise you.

Answering your question, my modifier is dangling for the entire world to see. (<---And that modifier is not dangling).

I'm just gonna let it hang there, answer all my questions for me, and we'll see who it impresses.

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tl;dr: Everyone go buy The Voice's book "Lobbying for the Grey American" which, SPOILER ALERT, has not a single dangling modifier.
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moe wrote:Matted with hair, armed to the teeth, swift as the noble beast his screen name so "lovingly" embodies.. . ..

Wielding a hot dog in one hand and a fedora in the other. . . . .
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Re: Ask Wolffystyle

Postby ManBungalow on Thu May 23, 2013 3:48 pm

Dear Wolffystyle,

How long is too long?

Thanks in advance.
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Re: Ask Wolffystyle

Postby Funkyterrance on Thu May 30, 2013 12:03 am

Do you Party?
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Re: Ask Wolffystyle

Postby AslanTheKing on Sun Jun 02, 2013 2:24 pm

What is the password for my CC Account ?
I used to roll the daizz
Feel the fear in my enemy´s eyes
Listen as the crowd would sing:

Long live the Army Of Kings !


AOK

show: AOK Rocks
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Re: Ask Wolffystyle

Postby Agent 86 on Mon Jun 03, 2013 12:52 pm

AslanTheKing wrote:What is the password for my CC Account ?


You shouldn't have asked that question. You know your own password and so does Wolffy, this would never be disclosed.

For further Analysis
1. to make known; reveal or uncover: to disclose a secret. 2. to cause to appear; allow to be seen; lay open to view.

So Wollfystyle might answer this question..but thought I would help out :D
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Re: Ask Wolffystyle

Postby owenshooter on Thu Jul 10, 2014 9:47 am

what ever happened to Beckytheblondie? i am very curious...-el Jesus negro
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