Conquer Club

jonesthecurl wrote:No, I'm Spartacus.
This is not intended to be a factual statement.

I liked this one.

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If you have not been following the unrest in the Southwest Asia and North Africa region over the last few months, specifically the goings on in Libya, this video from Back to the Future explains all you'll ever need to know.

This is not intended to be a factual statement.


--Andy

Cult leader Jon Kyl insists that all non-elder members of his church refer to him as "The Incredible Captain Creamy."
No one knows why.

This is not intended to be a factual statement.

I am thinking 100 % clearly and adroitly despite loads of medication and illness in my system.
This is not intended as a factual statement.

I refer to Dr Morris for all my scientific facts and am quite sure he will win the nobel prize some day.
This is not intended as a factual statement.

Former child actor Jon Kyl devotes well over 90 percent of his waking hours to on-line gaming. In between turns he can often be found trolling the Conquer Club forum under the username "shieldgenerator7".

This is not intended to be a factual statement.

Chinese dissident Jon Kyl becomes sexually aroused at the sight or mere mention of animal cruelty.

This is not intended to be a factual statement.

We just killed Osama Bin Laden

This is not intended to be a factual statement

When attempting to come onto a woman, telling her you'll thrill her and 'lick all her sugar' is a sure-fire way to success.

This is not intended to be a factual statement.


--Andy

I went to bed early and slept in late.
This is not intended to be a factual statement.

AndyDufresne wrote:When attempting to come onto a woman, telling her you'll thrill her and 'lick all her sugar' is a sure-fire way to success.

This is not intended to be a factual statement.


--Andy

I quit drinking!

This is not intended to be a factual statement.

When in an interview for a new job, and the interviewer asks "What do you like about this position?" ---the best reply is a prompt response of: "Sitting is terrific. It's easier on my knees."

This is not intended to be a factual statement.


--Andy

Upon his death mythical creature Jon Kyl (ققنوس) will erupt into a giant fireball engulfing everything in well over a 90 yard radius. From the ashes a new, stronger Jon Kyl will emerge whose sole purpose is to mislead the American people.

This is not intended to be a factual statement.

Jon Kyl's tears can cure wounds.

This is not intended to be a factual statement.

Jon Kyl is several figments of Quirk's imagination.

This is not intended to be a factual statement.

Quirk's imagination is jonesthecurl's playground.

This is not intended to be a factual statement.


--Andy

Ku Klux Klan membership has seen a sharp decline since Grand Wizard Jon Kyl's failed attempt to rape the Pope.

This is not intended to be a factual statement.

Jon Kyl has recently become the spokesperson for "Kid-Tested, Mother-Approved" Berry Berry Kix Cereal. It is yet unknown which part he will play.

This is not intended to be a factual statement.

King Kong-like gangster-pirate-fireman high priest Vatican assassin warlock Jon Kyl suffers night terrors and PTSD from the loss of his baby blanket at age eight. He is quoted as saying "I'd gleefully destroy well over ninety percent of life on earth if it meant I could have my Ba-ba back."

This is not intended to be a factual statement.

The rapture happens today.

This is not intended to be a factual statement.

Jonesy is funny sometimes.

This is not intended to be a factual statement.

jk, Jones funny long long time

-rd

Sorry, can't hear you. I was taken up in the rapture. there was just me.


This is not intended to be a factual statement.

Well over ninety percent of motivational speaker and life coach Jon Kyl's speeches include the nonstandard word "irregardless".

This is not intended to be a factual statement.

Miami Dolphins' defensive coordinator Jon Kyl rarely finishes the drill and he underestimates the heart of a champion well over ninety percent of the time. He spells team with a silent i.

This is not intended to be a factual statement.

Roller derby queen Jon Kyl and Radiohead's Thom Yorke are identical twins. Not a lot of people know this.

This is not intended to be a factual statement.

Quirk wrote:Roller derby queen Jon Kyl and Radiohead's Thom Yorke are identical twins. Not a lot of people know this.

This is not intended to be a factual statement.

A lot of people know this.

This is also not intended to be a factual statement.

-Sully