Conquer Club

Chinese dissident Jon Kyl becomes sexually aroused at the sight or mere mention of animal cruelty.

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We just killed Osama Bin Laden

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When attempting to come onto a woman, telling her you'll thrill her and 'lick all her sugar' is a sure-fire way to success.

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--Andy

I went to bed early and slept in late.
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AndyDufresne wrote:When attempting to come onto a woman, telling her you'll thrill her and 'lick all her sugar' is a sure-fire way to success.

This is not intended to be a factual statement.


--Andy

I quit drinking!

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When in an interview for a new job, and the interviewer asks "What do you like about this position?" ---the best reply is a prompt response of: "Sitting is terrific. It's easier on my knees."

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--Andy

Upon his death mythical creature Jon Kyl (ققنوس) will erupt into a giant fireball engulfing everything in well over a 90 yard radius. From the ashes a new, stronger Jon Kyl will emerge whose sole purpose is to mislead the American people.

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Jon Kyl's tears can cure wounds.

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Jon Kyl is several figments of Quirk's imagination.

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Quirk's imagination is jonesthecurl's playground.

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--Andy

Ku Klux Klan membership has seen a sharp decline since Grand Wizard Jon Kyl's failed attempt to rape the Pope.

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Jon Kyl has recently become the spokesperson for "Kid-Tested, Mother-Approved" Berry Berry Kix Cereal. It is yet unknown which part he will play.

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King Kong-like gangster-pirate-fireman high priest Vatican assassin warlock Jon Kyl suffers night terrors and PTSD from the loss of his baby blanket at age eight. He is quoted as saying "I'd gleefully destroy well over ninety percent of life on earth if it meant I could have my Ba-ba back."

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The rapture happens today.

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Jonesy is funny sometimes.

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jk, Jones funny long long time

-rd

Sorry, can't hear you. I was taken up in the rapture. there was just me.


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Well over ninety percent of motivational speaker and life coach Jon Kyl's speeches include the nonstandard word "irregardless".

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Miami Dolphins' defensive coordinator Jon Kyl rarely finishes the drill and he underestimates the heart of a champion well over ninety percent of the time. He spells team with a silent i.

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Roller derby queen Jon Kyl and Radiohead's Thom Yorke are identical twins. Not a lot of people know this.

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Quirk wrote:Roller derby queen Jon Kyl and Radiohead's Thom Yorke are identical twins. Not a lot of people know this.

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A lot of people know this.

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-Sully

Sully's Gameshow Extraordinaire! Friend or Foe? is perfectly fair

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This has become a textual meme. It should be on memebase.

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1+1≈3

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I smoke Jon Kyl's toenails when I want to get high!

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My New Year's resolution is to stop making posts about His Holiness Jon Kyl.

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