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These Are Not Intended to be Factual Statements

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Re: These Are Not Intended to be Factual Statements

Postby Quirk on Tue Aug 28, 2012 12:50 am

Disgraced tiddlywinkist Jon Kyl received a lifetime ban from recess early Friday and was stripped of his record seven Tiddlywink titles after deciding to abandon his long fight against charges he led a sophisticated doping conspiracy throughout his career.

This is not intended to be a factual statement.
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Re: These Are Not Intended to be Factual Statements

Postby Gillipig on Tue Aug 28, 2012 2:50 am

Your self image is dependant on the people around you, so in order to excert total control of your own personality, you need to do away with them.

This is intended to be a factual statement, just one you shouldn't adhere to.
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Re: These Are Not Intended to be Factual Statements

Postby oVo on Thu Aug 30, 2012 12:54 am

Mittens Rmoney will not fail, because money talks.

This is intended to be a factual statement, just one you shouldn't adhere to.
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Re: These Are Not Intended to be Factual Statements

Postby Quirk on Thu Oct 17, 2013 1:36 am

Uncle Jon Kyl's Old Fashioned Organic Penis Squeezins contain a flesh-eating drug that turns people into zombie-like creatures.

This is not intended to be a factual statement.
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Re: These Are Not Intended to be Factual Statements

Postby jonesthecurl on Thu Nov 06, 2014 1:06 pm

THIS THREAD IS STILL POPULAR.

This is not intended to be a factual statement.
And remember what the poet said – “in booty there is loot, and in loot booty.” Or sump’n like that.
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Re: These Are Not Intended to be Factual Statements

Postby Quirk on Sun Aug 23, 2015 12:23 am

Sure-footed and agile, Jon Kyl is an excellent packer and can carry an average of 80 lbs or 25% of his body weight.

This is not intended to be a factual statement.
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Re: These Are Not Intended to be Factual Statements

Postby tzor on Mon Aug 24, 2015 9:24 am

In what is known as the "October Surprise" President Barack Hussein Obama declared himself Emperor for life, dissolved Congress (literally in a large vat of acid ... Speaker John Boehner last words were "well shit, I guess I have to jump in then") and declared the constitution "null and void" being one of those "racist" legacies of prior administrations. The creation of the American Empire less than two months after the "Great Fall of China" was seen as a necessary action after the collapse of the World Bank and the global currency markets last September.

Newly appointed President Biden nit picked the Emperor's decision insisting that it should have been either boiling oil or melted lead to eliminate Congress, but he is generally considered more of a traditionalist in terms of having the "punishment fit the crime."

This is not intended to be a factual statement.
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Re: These Are Not Intended to be Factual Statements

Postby Army of GOD on Mon Aug 24, 2015 9:28 am

holy shit, this thread is from 2011?

I swear this could've been from 2014.
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Re: These Are Not Intended to be Factual Statements

Postby jonesthecurl on Tue Aug 25, 2015 10:51 am

jonesthecurl wrote:THIS THREAD IS STILL POPULAR.

This is not intended to be a factual statement.


This is not intended to be a quote.
Or a pipe.
And remember what the poet said – “in booty there is loot, and in loot booty.” Or sump’n like that.
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Re: These Are Not Intended to be Factual Statements

Postby AndyDufresne on Wed Aug 26, 2015 10:11 am

Army of GOD wrote:holy shit, this thread is from 2011?

I swear this could've been from 2014.

The past is haunting.

This is not intended to be a factual statement.


--Andy
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Re: These Are Not Intended to be Factual Statements

Postby Dukasaur on Wed Aug 26, 2015 10:16 am

My gonads are as dense as neutron stars.

"This is not intended to be a factual statement."
All that is gold does not glitter
Not all those who wander are lost
The old that is strong does not wither
Deep roots are not reached by the frost
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Re: These Are Not Intended to be Factual Statements

Postby tzor on Wed Aug 26, 2015 11:22 am

Walking over 5,000 steps a day isn't easy for a typical lazy programmer ...

This is not intended to be a factual statement.
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