Conquer Club

Your daughter took the day off from junior college to visit her mechanic for a tune-up.



But there was a queue at her mechanic so now she needs a ride (back to school). She asks you to call one of your friends to pick her up.

Which members of CC would you most trust to call and get her safely back to school?

You must choose three, in case someone is busy.

Why are you not on the list? Are you assuming I wouldn't trust you to drive my daughter back to college safely and with her virginity still intact? I mean, xeno is on this list! I've already taken a restraining order out on him in the event I even have any daughters some day.

I chose 3:

2dimes, because you've got to trust a stachewacker that has been around for this long.

BBS, because he'll mostly talk about his 2012 election campaign to become president.

TGD, because he'll mostly talk about law statutes or something.


--Andy

thegreekdog wrote:Why are you not on the list? Are you assuming I wouldn't trust you to drive my daughter back to college safely and with her virginity still intact? I mean, xeno is on this list! I've already taken a restraining order out on him in the event I even have any daughters some day.

It would be a lopsided contest; I would obviously win as most trustworthy because I'm an Uncle.

AndyDufresne wrote:BBS, because he'll mostly talk about his 2012 election campaign to become president.

BBS is not a good choice, even though this may be a valid reason. She'd get tired of waiting for him to install an auxiliary passenger seat on his bicycle and would end up hitching a ride with xeno.

Gillipig is my first choice, obviously. Unless she's 300+ pounds he won't as much as look at her twice.

BVP is probably my second. I'm pretty sure he's only turned on by talk of imperial Russia's socio-political situation.

AoG would be my third choice, because if push comes to shove I'm pretty sure she could easily overpower him.

Haggis_McMutton wrote:Gillipig is my first choice, obviously. Unless she's 300+ pounds he won't as much as look at her twice.

BVP is probably my second. I'm pretty sure he's only turned on by talk of imperial Russia's socio-political situation.

AoG would be my third choice, because if push comes to shove I'm pretty sure she could easily overpower him.

Damn you McMuffin. You stole me AoG joke.

I voted for Woodruff and faded because they seem old(er), responsible adults. I chose AoG for the reasons stated by McMuffin.

Well, so long as my daughter is over the age of 12, xeno would be a good choice.

tzor would probably take pictures of my daughter and then make them blurry, so he's definitely not on the list.

BBS is likely to explain the socio-economic implications of going to junior college, and he might therefore end up teaching my whore daughter a lesson.

nietzsche is clearly rolling in women already, so it could be that he won't be inclined to take an interest in my fabulous daughter, thus making him a good choice. However, it has been established in one of the other threads that people in Mexico don't drive safely, so I'm not sure I'd put him up to this task.

AoG could teach my daughter a lesson or two ; ) .... (she's studying Spongebob at college, or so she says).

Gillipig is a terrifying example of a troll, and cannot be trusted to urinate in the right direction.


I vote:

TGD
BBS
Woody

I hate all of you.

I'd choose Skittles because he's gay, Gillipig because he's only attracted to elephants and Woodruff because relationships are illogical.

Having not read the previous posters reasons, I chose

BvP because he's seems a nice guy and is engaged

AoG because even if he wanted to make a move, he wouldn't succeed and after his first move he'd think "who cares, life sucks anyway"

Gillipig because my daughter wouldn't be fat and he only likes elephants.

I almost voted for Woodruff. I figured he'd be there 20 minutes early in his K-Car to pick her up at college -



- but, somewhere along the way she'd say something stupid (i.e. "is the 405 a North-South or East-West highway?") whereupon he'd pull over, scream "GET OUT OF MY CAR YOU IDIOTIC TROLL!" and leave her on the side of the road. At which point xeno - who's been following them the whole time - would pull up -

I picked:
2dimes- because he seems like a nice guy who would only want to help.
Woodruff- he seems the responsible type.
Skittles!- he's gay...at the most, he'd give her fashion advice.

Glad to see I'm not on the list: I don't drive.

thegreekdog wrote:

Haggis_McMutton wrote:Gillipig is my first choice, obviously. Unless she's 300+ pounds he won't as much as look at her twice.

BVP is probably my second. I'm pretty sure he's only turned on by talk of imperial Russia's socio-political situation.

AoG would be my third choice, because if push comes to shove I'm pretty sure she could easily overpower him.

Damn you McMuffin. You stole me AoG joke.

I voted for Woodruff and faded because they seem old(er), responsible adults. I chose AoG for the reasons stated by McMuffin.

um... thanks? I'm not that old, early 30s... then again, my wife accuses me of being the youngest old man she's ever known so it's probably deserved...

fadedpsychosis wrote:

thegreekdog wrote:

Haggis_McMutton wrote:Gillipig is my first choice, obviously. Unless she's 300+ pounds he won't as much as look at her twice.

BVP is probably my second. I'm pretty sure he's only turned on by talk of imperial Russia's socio-political situation.

AoG would be my third choice, because if push comes to shove I'm pretty sure she could easily overpower him.

Damn you McMuffin. You stole me AoG joke.

I voted for Woodruff and faded because they seem old(er), responsible adults. I chose AoG for the reasons stated by McMuffin.

um... thanks? I'm not that old, early 30s... then again, my wife accuses me of being the youngest old man she's ever known so it's probably deserved...

I think you're older than most people on this list (or at least act older than most people on this list).

thegreekdog wrote:

fadedpsychosis wrote:

thegreekdog wrote:

Haggis_McMutton wrote:Gillipig is my first choice, obviously. Unless she's 300+ pounds he won't as much as look at her twice.

BVP is probably my second. I'm pretty sure he's only turned on by talk of imperial Russia's socio-political situation.

AoG would be my third choice, because if push comes to shove I'm pretty sure she could easily overpower him.

Damn you McMuffin. You stole me AoG joke.

I voted for Woodruff and faded because they seem old(er), responsible adults. I chose AoG for the reasons stated by McMuffin.

um... thanks? I'm not that old, early 30s... then again, my wife accuses me of being the youngest old man she's ever known so it's probably deserved...

I think you're older than most people on this list (or at least act older than most people on this list).

no you!

All of you that chose BBS, be careful, he has the power to give your daughter cancer.

Im flattered how many of you see me as the obvious match for your daughters. Unfortunately I've moved on to a middle aged asian fetish so your 16-17 year olds have not much to worry about

xeno wrote:Im flattered how many of you see me as the obvious match for your daughters. Unfortunately I've moved on to a middle aged asian fetish so your 16-17 year olds have not much to worry about

Did you just vote for yourself?

Last time I posted in this thread you had no votes. Now you have one.

ManBungalow wrote:

xeno wrote:Im flattered how many of you see me as the obvious match for your daughters. Unfortunately I've moved on to a middle aged asian fetish so your 16-17 year olds have not much to worry about

Did you just vote for yourself?

Last time I posted in this thread you had no votes. Now you have one.

Aha! And so the mystery of who actually voted for me begins! But in all fairness I'm the last option

ManBungalow wrote:Well, so long as my daughter is over the age of 12, xeno would be a good choice.

tzor would probably take pictures of my daughter and then make them blurry, so he's definitely not on the list.

BBS is likely to explain the socio-economic implications of going to junior college, and he might therefore end up teaching my whore daughter a lesson.

nietzsche is clearly rolling in women already, so it could be that he won't be inclined to take an interest in my fabulous daughter, thus making him a good choice. However, it has been established in one of the other threads that people in Mexico don't drive safely, so I'm not sure I'd put him up to this task.

AoG could teach my daughter a lesson or two ; ) .... (she's studying Spongebob at college, or so she says).

Gillipig is a terrifying example of a troll, and cannot be trusted to urinate in the right direction.


I vote:

TGD
BBS
Woody

Spongebob is 18 year old code for vaginal sponges birth control.

I vote Pedro. He'd clean her up and have her at school in time to tag the retaining wall in the back parking lot.

Woodruff, TGD... if I have to pick a 3rd from that list (and not myself) then AOG.

saxitoxin wrote:
It would be a lopsided contest; I would obviously win as most trustworthy because I'm an Uncle.

Yeah but "funny uncles" actually give the opposite impression.

I picked Woodruff and Pedronicus because those are the only ones I know for sure are Dads themselves. Tbh, I don't think Woodruff has it in him(I mean that in a good way). Johnblue just seems like he has a pretty strong moral compass and wouldn't betray someone like that so he was my third choice.

I would not trust anyone other than myself.