Conquer Club

ManBungalow wrote:Hello and welcome to ManBungalow's Legal Budget Confidential Medical Centre

(MLBCMC)

The story of MLBCMC starts in 1949, back when I began my medical career at a small research centre in what was formerly known as Yugoslavia. It was in this year when I first discovered what you may know today as penicillin. I later went on to accidentally synthesise the drug from a solution of koala faeces and human urine.

Of course, it was destined to become a hit with all the qualified professionals in years to come. However, my ignorant supervisor didn't understand that the drug had to be tested in huge quantities on thousands of endangered elephants; and after the lab was discovered and my precious jars of urine smashed by protestors in late 1950, my supervisor told me that I was an abomination of the human race and that if he ever saw me again I would wake up the next day with only one thorax.

During the ten years that followed, I tried with little success to transplant the digestive system of various ungulates into humans, so that I could one day fulfill my dream of extracting the energy stored in grass and cud.
In order to continue financing my investigations and support my chronic addiction to buying IBM stock, I was forced to marry a rich, beautiful princess from Monaco. She only came to see me once because she tragically fell out of the twenty-ninth-storey window at my apartment, and the police said she was under the influence of a strange toxin they've never encountered before so that was probably why.

By 1963 I had given up all hope of ever building RoboCop, but I had a surprise visit from an old friend who had emigrated to the USA only three years before. His name was Victor_Sullivan, and he soon told me that he had glued a large sponge to his spine while bathing and was too embarrassed about the matter to see a trained medical practitioner. It was after I removed his lungs that I realised where my heart truly lay, and thusly the MLBCMC was born.

So here we are in 2011, and I have several dozen people stumble into the successful and fully-certified MLBCMC every week!
Who would've thunk it?

Come one, come all. Post your curious ailments and queries (just don't ask any specific questions), and expect quality advice from an experienced consultant.

HOW TO FIND THE MLBCMC :

Go past the vending machine and into the alley. You can't miss it.

Click image to enlarge.

REVIEWS OF THE MLBCMC FROM SURVIVING CUSTOMERS :

Army of GOD wrote:Thanks to the MLBCMC, I now have a third ovary. Cheers ManBungalow!

Woodruff wrote:My new and improved eyebrows allow me to quash the opinions of anyone who is wrong!

JoshyBoy wrote:I had breast-reduction surgery at MLBCMC, and my girlfriend simply loves the new look!

We look forward to hearing from you soon.

DoomYoshi wrote:I'm not on the list

nietzsche wrote:AoN for the primary surgeon position as he knows how to handle a knife

john9blue wrote:i'm not squeamish and i have very good hand-eye coordination

but the hippocratic oath can suck my dick

Funkyterrance wrote:I think I would pick, if forced to, someone who had some value for human life opposed to someone who was good at gory video games.

john9blue wrote:

Funkyterrance wrote:I think I would pick, if forced to, someone who had some value for human life opposed to someone who was good at gory video games.

this is ironic because i never play gory video games and i'm one of the only pro-lifers on the forum

don't draw conclusions about me, because what you think you know about me is probably wrong. i don't fit molds.

Funkyterrance wrote:

john9blue wrote:

Funkyterrance wrote:I think I would pick, if forced to, someone who had some value for human life opposed to someone who was good at gory video games.

this is ironic because i never play gory video games and i'm one of the only pro-lifers on the forum

don't draw conclusions about me, because what you think you know about me is probably wrong. i don't fit molds.

Nah, and I actually considered these facts when I wrote and knew it could be taken the wrong way but thought maybe the ridiculousness of my post would hint at its joking nature... Tbh it wasn't really directed at you. You have to admit a gory video gamer would fit the bill according to your qualifications.

john9blue wrote:

Funkyterrance wrote:I think I would pick, if forced to, someone who had some value for human life opposed to someone who was good at gory video games.

this is ironic because i never play gory video games and i'm one of the only pro-lifers on the forum

Woodruff wrote:

john9blue wrote:

Funkyterrance wrote:I think I would pick, if forced to, someone who had some value for human life opposed to someone who was good at gory video games.

this is ironic because i never play gory video games and i'm one of the only pro-lifers on the forum

There are a lot of us that are pro-life, actually...we're just not in favor of the government mandating it.

GabonX wrote:

Woodruff wrote:

john9blue wrote:

Funkyterrance wrote:I think I would pick, if forced to, someone who had some value for human life opposed to someone who was good at gory video games.

this is ironic because i never play gory video games and i'm one of the only pro-lifers on the forum

There are a lot of us that are pro-life, actually...we're just not in favor of the government mandating it.

lol

"I'm pro gay marraige, I'm just not in favor of the government mandating it."

GabonX wrote:"I'm against murder. I'm just not in favor of the government banning it."