Phatscotty wrote:What is the best way to pee with a boner?
Thanks for asking a question so well suited to my expertise. Well, as you probably well know, urinating with an erection - or, as the kids today call them, "a boner" - can be a tricky proposition. If you don't take adequate precautions, you're liable to get urine in all sorts of places you don't want urine to go. So, if nature calls when, uhh, nature calls, you've got three options in terms of desirability. The most preferable is get rid of the offending erection. Given the urgency involved in the situation, this is gonna usually take the tango solo route, but if you have a willing partner, so be it. Secondly, go for a walk in the woods. This way, as long as you keep your tallywhacker pointed in a non-you direction, and aren't corrupting any adults or minors, you're both relieving yourself of a dicey situation and participating in the nitrogen cycle, which is cool. And finally, in the least desirable but (by far) most likely scenario, you might need to use a toilet to urinate while at full-mast. In this case, take firm hold, lean over, aim, and pray.
May God's grace find you.