If someone who speaks two languages is bilingual, and someone who speaks many languages is multilingual, then what do you call someone who speaks one language?
How many Americans does it take to fill the Grand Canyon?
What’s the difference between the US and yogurt?
What do you call a worker in America that will work hard for reasonable pay and never whine?
What happens when an american breaks his arm?
How many American tourists does it take to change a light bulb?
It is said that Mohandas Ghandi was asked, "What is your opinion of American civilization?"
Americans (uh-mar'-i-kun) noun 1 Persons so socially maladjusted that they would leave, or be forcibly exiled from, their homeland and family to travel across vast oceans to the uncivilized frontiers of a distant continent. 2 Persons descended from one or more persons defined in 1 and commonly retainng the characteristics thereof.
The following is allegedly the transcript of a radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995, as released by the Chief of Naval Operations:
Canadians: Please divert your course 15 degrees the South to avoid a collision.
Americans: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees the North to avoid a collision.
Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.
Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
Canadians: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.
Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, I SAY AGAIN, THAT'S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.
Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.
"God created War so that Americans would learn Geography" - Mark Twain
Oscar Wilde's quotes about America:
"We (the British) have everything in common with America. Except, of course, language."
"America is the only nation that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between."
America: Where being gay is a choice and being obese is genetics.