Then he was assassinated by a liberal idiot who didn't like to see what he thought would be great actually playing out. He realized that he was going to die, so he hid in his bathtub. Meanwhile, everyone cowered, and everyone screamed, for the flying monkeys heralded it: Hilary was coming! Her maniacal evil laugh struck fear into the hearts of everyone. Then Reagan came back from the grave. In a bitter election, Reagan received the electoral vote of every state except France, which as part of the peace treaty crafted by the duck was under US rule. Hilary Rodham Clinton was banished to France, which was then blown up. Reagan lead the country to prosperity. Until he saw a duck. The duck was just sitting there, with banners all around him that said "Labor," "Socialism" , "Progressive" ,"Liberal." Reagan gave him one that said "Reality Deficient."
Children, this is what happens to hockey players, druggies, and Hillary Clinton.
Rope. Tree. Hillary. Some assembly required.