the longest thread, thread - Occasionally NSFW

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Re: the longest thread, thread - Occasionally NSFW

Postby Gillipig on Fri Feb 15, 2013 7:33 pm

I have usurped the throne of Norway!! Norway belongs to me now! Along with Iceland and the northernmost county of Scotland and all norwegian islands except the faroe islands which is English. I also hold most of Finland and still a big part of Lithuania as well as most of karelia. There seems to be no end to my warrior king's success :D!
Now I'm placed in a dilemma, I have many potential wars I could fight. Shall I;

#1) Declare war on England over the Faroe Islands.
The faroe islands won't bring me much tax nor troops, but it's strategically well positioned, I don't want an english king in control of it when the nearby islands all belong to me.

+ Positive:
It's a de jure claim so most likely no one will come to their aid.
The English king is facing a civil war.

- Negative:
The war could drag on for years if the vassal won't relinguish his rights to the county (If the vassal won't do that I have to make the King of England surrender the county to me, which would mean I'd have to attack mainland England.)
England is a traditionally powerful country, making enemies with them over a small island doesn't seem like a good idea.
The county would not go to me but to one of my norwegian vassals.

#2) Declare war on the Holy Roman Empire over three counties in Norway.
Well when I said I had Norway I actually don't have all of it. Three counties belong to the Holy Roman Empire. But I'm still crowned King of Norway.
For some reason (holy war or de jure) the Holy Roman Empire decided to seize the three most populous counties of Norway (where Oslo is).

+ Positive:
The counties in question would bring me much tax, and in the future, armies due to it's large amount of population.
It's a de jure claim so most likely no one will come to their aid.
I need to assault them sooner or later, it's a great security risk to leave an area so close to the centre of my empire open for an enemy to land troops in.
The inhabitants are christian as well as of the same culture so the vassals will most likely give in to my demands.
It's relatively far from their homeland.
They hold Jerusalem right now and are probably fighting hard just to keep that.
Most likely one of my vassals will declare war on the Holy Roman Empire due to de jure claims, so I might have to fight this war sooner rather than later anyway. (I don't think thery can win over the Holy Roman Empire without my help lol.)

- Negative:
It's the Holy fucking Roman Empire! They are capable of unloading tens of thousands of troops if they aren't busy fighting someone else. That is something no other foe I've faced so far can do.
They are not in a civil war.
The counties would not belong to me but to either my swedish or norwegian vassal (depending on which de jure claim I pursue.)

#3) Declare war on Scotland to expel the excommunicated King of Scotland.
Yes you heard right hehe, the King of Scotland has been cursed by the pope for converting to another religion. He will find no aid from Christian warlords should I attack him.

+ Positive:
If the counties around Oslo would bring in taxes it's nothing compared to what the Kingdom of Scotland would do to my bank balance. In the future I could summon a lot of troops from these counties.
It would make me King of yet another country.
All the scottish counties would belong to me. I could choose which I want to give to vassals, and I can choose which vassals that would be, and I could choose which I would keep for myself. (the good ones hehe)
Scotland is Christian which makes it easier to rule than counties of a different religion than mine. (less chance of revolt)
Strategically easy to attack from above, easy to advance my troops and protect the counties I've just seized.
Scotland is currently dealing with a minor civil war.

- Negative:
Even if no one helps them, it would be a massive war, I have the number on them for sure but my bank balance might not be able to muster a several year long war.
I would have to accept having the Holy Roman Empire on my doorstep while fighting this war.
If I win it will still be hard to hold. England can make de jure claims on it and might push me away right after I seize it.

#4) Declare a holy war over Finland or Karelia.
These would be easy wars at this point. I'd sweep them away in an instant. But would it be worth putting time on?

+ Positive:
Very slim chance of losing.
Quick wars, would be over in a short time.
Large chunks of land. (good for the ego)
Would put further distance between my core counties and Estonia (which is advancing in the region)
All the regions seized would belong to me, for me to do what i want with.

- Negative:
Foreign cultues and foreign religions. Large risk for revolts later.
Not much gain financially, nor in terms of troops.
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Re: the longest thread, thread - Occasionally NSFW

Postby mcshanester29 on Fri Feb 15, 2013 7:37 pm

Okay between Andy and Gilli I had to go get the game as well....still learning a bit about it but seems to be a lot of fun. I started by Russia and succeeded in a holy war. But having a heck of a time with factions, revolts, and invading armies....I think I might have to try from Sweden to start with.lol
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Re: the longest thread, thread - Occasionally NSFW

Postby muy_thaiguy on Fri Feb 15, 2013 9:37 pm

Gillipig wrote:I have usurped the throne of Norway!! Norway belongs to me now! Along with Iceland and the northernmost county of Scotland and all norwegian islands except the faroe islands which is English. I also hold most of Finland and still a big part of Lithuania as well as most of karelia. There seems to be no end to my warrior king's success :D!
Now I'm placed in a dilemma, I have many potential wars I could fight. Shall I;

#1) Declare war on England over the Faroe Islands.
The faroe islands won't bring me much tax nor troops, but it's strategically well positioned, I don't want an english king in control of it when the nearby islands all belong to me.

+ Positive:
It's a de jure claim so most likely no one will come to their aid.
The English king is facing a civil war.

- Negative:
The war could drag on for years if the vassal won't relinguish his rights to the county (If the vassal won't do that I have to make the King of England surrender the county to me, which would mean I'd have to attack mainland England.)
England is a traditionally powerful country, making enemies with them over a small island doesn't seem like a good idea.
The county would not go to me but to one of my norwegian vassals.

#2) Declare war on the Holy Roman Empire over three counties in Norway.
Well when I said I had Norway I actually don't have all of it. Three counties belong to the Holy Roman Empire. But I'm still crowned King of Norway.
For some reason (holy war or de jure) the Holy Roman Empire decided to seize the three most populous counties of Norway (where Oslo is).

+ Positive:
The counties in question would bring me much tax, and in the future, armies due to it's large amount of population.
It's a de jure claim so most likely no one will come to their aid.
I need to assault them sooner or later, it's a great security risk to leave an area so close to the centre of my empire open for an enemy to land troops in.
The inhabitants are christian as well as of the same culture so the vassals will most likely give in to my demands.
It's relatively far from their homeland.
They hold Jerusalem right now and are probably fighting hard just to keep that.
Most likely one of my vassals will declare war on the Holy Roman Empire due to de jure claims, so I might have to fight this war sooner rather than later anyway. (I don't think thery can win over the Holy Roman Empire without my help lol.)

- Negative:
It's the Holy fucking Roman Empire! They are capable of unloading tens of thousands of troops if they aren't busy fighting someone else. That is something no other foe I've faced so far can do.
They are not in a civil war.
The counties would not belong to me but to either my swedish or norwegian vassal (depending on which de jure claim I pursue.)

#3) Declare war on Scotland to expel the excommunicated King of Scotland.
Yes you heard right hehe, the King of Scotland has been cursed by the pope for converting to another religion. He will find no aid from Christian warlords should I attack him.

+ Positive:
If the counties around Oslo would bring in taxes it's nothing compared to what the Kingdom of Scotland would do to my bank balance. In the future I could summon a lot of troops from these counties.
It would make me King of yet another country.
All the scottish counties would belong to me. I could choose which I want to give to vassals, and I can choose which vassals that would be, and I could choose which I would keep for myself. (the good ones hehe)
Scotland is Christian which makes it easier to rule than counties of a different religion than mine. (less chance of revolt)
Strategically easy to attack from above, easy to advance my troops and protect the counties I've just seized.
Scotland is currently dealing with a minor civil war.

- Negative:
Even if no one helps them, it would be a massive war, I have the number on them for sure but my bank balance might not be able to muster a several year long war.
I would have to accept having the Holy Roman Empire on my doorstep while fighting this war.
If I win it will still be hard to hold. England can make de jure claims on it and might push me away right after I seize it.

#4) Declare a holy war over Finland or Karelia.
These would be easy wars at this point. I'd sweep them away in an instant. But would it be worth putting time on?

+ Positive:
Very slim chance of losing.
Quick wars, would be over in a short time.
Large chunks of land. (good for the ego)
Would put further distance between my core counties and Estonia (which is advancing in the region)
All the regions seized would belong to me, for me to do what i want with.

- Negative:
Foreign cultues and foreign religions. Large risk for revolts later.
Not much gain financially, nor in terms of troops.

Take the English islands first and solidify them to yourself by having very loyal vassels control them. From there, hit Scotland, fast and hard. In the meanwhile, keep your territories bordering the Holy Roman Empire well fortified, just to be on the safe side. Maybe make an alliance or a pact with them if you can. Anyways, after Scotland, solidify yourself by keeping it under control of trusted vassels and strong armies. Strong enough to keep the English from instantly attacking, but not so large it drains your money. From there, you now have some good places from where you can launch attacks from, as well as more money with taking Scotland.
Now is not the time to divide ourselves, to relish in letters by men long dead. Now is the time to come and work together in order to bring this country onto the right track. We are all citizens of this country, it is time to treat eachother as equals.
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Re: the longest thread, thread - Occasionally NSFW

Postby AndyDufresne on Fri Feb 15, 2013 11:31 pm

Steam is having an epic Crusader Kings 2 sale. You can get it for 9.99. Some of the DLC is also discounted as well for the next few days.

**Munches on a banana**


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Re: the longest thread, thread - Occasionally NSFW

Postby Gillipig on Sat Feb 16, 2013 3:53 am

mcshanester29 wrote:Okay between Andy and Gilli I had to go get the game as well....still learning a bit about it but seems to be a lot of fun. I started by Russia and succeeded in a holy war. But having a heck of a time with factions, revolts, and invading armies....I think I might have to try from Sweden to start with.lol

It's shockingly much fun! And there's so much you can do in the game, so much strategy to plan. Not only where to attack, but who to marry, where to improve your diplomatic situation, what to do with your council members, who should be your council members, your vassals, changing the laws, the list is endless. And your choices matters. It's not like who you marry doesn't mean anything, your heir will take after his mother as much as he takes after you so you can't just choose any woman. Furthermore if she's royal you can make claims to her fathers throne when he's dead. I ended up later usurping Norway through marrying the oldest of the norwegian princesses to my heir. A slick move to say the least hehe.
Sweden is a good place to start from. Watch out for the early civil war between you and your uncle though. He will most likely name you a pretender and start a civil war on you. And you start as mortally ill. In the game I play now my first king lived eight days before he died and my uncle immediately started a civil war. But I've also played a game where he survived. Nothing is certain, it doesn't get boring because the same things doesn't happen over and over, some things are more likely to happen though. Since your uncle has a strong claim on the throne and doesn't like you, he will at some point rebell on you (if you don't kill him in his sleep ;)).

Who did you proclaim war on? Must be many to choose from in Russia, they're pretty much surrounded by heathens.
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Re: the longest thread, thread - Occasionally NSFW

Postby Gillipig on Sat Feb 16, 2013 4:08 am

muy_thaiguy wrote:Take the English islands first and solidify them to yourself by having very loyal vassels control them. From there, hit Scotland, fast and hard. In the meanwhile, keep your territories bordering the Holy Roman Empire well fortified, just to be on the safe side. Maybe make an alliance or a pact with them if you can. Anyways, after Scotland, solidify yourself by keeping it under control of trusted vassels and strong armies. Strong enough to keep the English from instantly attacking, but not so large it drains your money. From there, you now have some good places from where you can launch attacks from, as well as more money with taking Scotland.

I want Scotland but I'm worried about my finances, I think I'll have to wait before I can take it. Right now I'm leaning towards declaing a war on the holy roman empire, much money to be gained through taxes of those regions and it could be a relatively short war if everything works out well and they don't land a mega army on the shore. The population is norwegian as well so they no doubt would rather be a part of my kingdom then the holy roman empire. If they do land a big army and squash me I'll have to signal for peace and hope they accept it. It feels like the most urgent matter right now. If I lose I wait until the Holy Roman Empire's king dies and hope they'll squabble for the throne and then I strike them. If I win I can soon land an army in Scotland and take what is (not at all) rightfully mine. But I migt be bold and hope the Holy Roman Empire won't do anything and go straight for Scotland instaed. Ahhh so many options lol.
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Re: the longest thread, thread - Occasionally NSFW

Postby AndyDufresne on Sat Feb 16, 2013 11:32 am

Have you investigated the "Ledger" yet, Gilli? It is pretty helpful when deciding things. It can show you where you rank in terms of world army strength, prestige, finances on hand, wars currently on, etc. So perhaps you can strike during an internal struggle, or when they have exhausted some of their immediate coffers, or have a weaker than usual army, etc.

**Munches on a banana**


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Re: the longest thread, thread - Occasionally NSFW

Postby mcshanester29 on Sat Feb 16, 2013 12:01 pm

Gillipig wrote:
mcshanester29 wrote:Okay between Andy and Gilli I had to go get the game as well....still learning a bit about it but seems to be a lot of fun. I started by Russia and succeeded in a holy war. But having a heck of a time with factions, revolts, and invading armies....I think I might have to try from Sweden to start with.lol

It's shockingly much fun! And there's so much you can do in the game, so much strategy to plan. Not only where to attack, but who to marry, where to improve your diplomatic situation, what to do with your council members, who should be your council members, your vassals, changing the laws, the list is endless. And your choices matters. It's not like who you marry doesn't mean anything, your heir will take after his mother as much as he takes after you so you can't just choose any woman. Furthermore if she's royal you can make claims to her fathers throne when he's dead. I ended up later usurping Norway through marrying the oldest of the norwegian princesses to my heir. A slick move to say the least hehe.
Sweden is a good place to start from. Watch out for the early civil war between you and your uncle though. He will most likely name you a pretender and start a civil war on you. And you start as mortally ill. In the game I play now my first king lived eight days before he died and my uncle immediately started a civil war. But I've also played a game where he survived. Nothing is certain, it doesn't get boring because the same things doesn't happen over and over, some things are more likely to happen though. Since your uncle has a strong claim on the throne and doesn't like you, he will at some point rebell on you (if you don't kill him in his sleep ;)).

Who did you proclaim war on? Must be many to choose from in Russia, they're pretty much surrounded by heathens.

I can't remember who I declared on, but the second declaration didn't go so well as a few of the heathen tribes started fighting together against me and I didn't have the man power to keep it up.

I did start another game as Sweden and have to say I have enjoyed it thoroughly My king lasted for about 5 months and then died lol. I have ended up causing my Uncle and two other rebels to surrender. And am pressing my de jure claims and have doubled my kingdom. Luckily I was able to arrange a marriage with Norway to keep them from attacking me. So all in all pretty good.
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Re: the longest thread, thread - Occasionally NSFW

Postby AndyDufresne on Sun Feb 17, 2013 1:19 pm

When your king dies and an heir takes over, I've found it is usually pretty worthwhile to immediately pause to assess the situation and see how everyone feels about the new King. If most of the vassals have a negative opinion, that should be rectified if possible. Moreover, those who with real power, I.E. Counts and Dukes, make sure they have a good opinion of you, since they are likely to revolt, or join together in a revolt. Sometimes throwing them in jail, even if you take a hit in opinion, is worthwhile to avoid civil war, or at least, a protracted civil war with multiple enemies. Moreover, giving away some things is necessary, like Baronies, and making sure you don't have more than 2 Duchies, etc. Also, be wary if you have any counties that are De Jure part of someone else's Kingdom. If the rebels go "independent," that means that additional foes from whoever wants those areas back may join in the melee.

In my game, I've finally and formally united Scotland and Ireland under my crown, and my King is now the King of Scotland and Ireland. Norway, who was occupying England to my south, was being very pesky, so I started a campaign to plot to overthrow their Norwegian King. And what do you know, the Spymaster they put onto their Council was Saxon, and he was more than willing to help dispatch 3 successive kings that were foreign. It was great fun to keep England/Norway in disarray while I was dealing with some internal civil wars.

I think I'll continue to try to plot against my neighboring English throne, to see if I can keep them with a weak King in power. But England is a difficult target, so I think my next target is Wales, so I can get a foothold in two places when I eventually go to war with England. Moreover, I'd like to become friends with the Frankinsh Kings...I'm sure they'd love to help beat up England if I can massage a relationship between our two cultures.

Also, I've got to the point where Genghis Khan has showed up in the Far East, and he seems to be ravaging the Islamic Empires east of Lebanon.

**Munches on a banana**


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Re: the longest thread, thread - Occasionally NSFW

Postby muy_thaiguy on Sun Feb 17, 2013 4:13 pm

Mongols are not fun to play against in Medieval 2 Total War. Best cavalry in the game, and they just keep coming. Takes a lot of armies and resources to push them back. And when you think you've finally dealt with the Mongols, along come the Sassanids. Who, like the Mongols, have incredible cavalry. But to add to that, they have elephants. With cannons. Elephants with cannons. Say good-bye to pike formations and cavalry, as the cannons will destroy the infantry and the elephants frighten horses and infantry.
Now is not the time to divide ourselves, to relish in letters by men long dead. Now is the time to come and work together in order to bring this country onto the right track. We are all citizens of this country, it is time to treat eachother as equals.
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Re: the longest thread, thread - Occasionally NSFW

Postby AndyDufresne on Mon Feb 18, 2013 10:06 am

**Munches on a banana** Hm. Weekday.


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Re: the longest thread, thread - Occasionally NSFW

Postby AndyDufresne on Tue Feb 19, 2013 10:03 am

Hm. Weekday again. **Munches on a banana**


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Re: the longest thread, thread - Occasionally NSFW

Postby Quirk on Tue Feb 19, 2013 3:11 pm

Hello norovirus. I haven't been this sick in over a decade. All three of us are sick. Good times.
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Re: the longest thread, thread - Occasionally NSFW

Postby jonesthecurl on Tue Feb 19, 2013 3:14 pm

Last comedy gig I did, one of the stand-ups wore rubber gloves to hold the mike. I'm not that sure he was being paranoid.
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Re: the longest thread, thread - Occasionally NSFW

Postby AndyDufresne on Tue Feb 19, 2013 4:49 pm

jonesthecurl wrote:Last comedy gig I did, one of the stand-ups wore rubber gloves to hold the mike. I'm not that sure he was being paranoid.

Maybe he just came from surgery? Or maybe he has very sensitive hands? Or maybe, he was hoping to lube someone up after his set. **Leaves behind a bowl of bananas**


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Re: the longest thread, thread - Occasionally NSFW

Postby jonesthecurl on Tue Feb 19, 2013 5:56 pm

He specifically said it was for fear of noro. Not as a part of the set, that's what he told us beforehand.
And remember what the poet said – “in booty there is loot, and in loot booty.” Or sump’n like that.
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Re: the longest thread, thread - Occasionally NSFW

Postby Quirk on Wed Feb 20, 2013 12:44 am

BPotW

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Re: the longest thread, thread - Occasionally NSFW

Postby AndyDufresne on Wed Feb 20, 2013 10:05 am

Hm, week day again. **Munches on a banana**


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Re: the longest thread, thread - Occasionally NSFW

Postby jonesthecurl on Wed Feb 20, 2013 10:08 am

Three in a row. Coincidence? I think not.
And remember what the poet said – “in booty there is loot, and in loot booty.” Or sump’n like that.
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Re: the longest thread, thread - Occasionally NSFW

Postby AndyDufresne on Wed Feb 20, 2013 11:14 am

jonesthecurl wrote:Three in a row. Coincidence? I think not.

Jonesy, I think you are onto something. We better discuss this in the conspiracy topic.

**Munches on a banana, suspiciously**


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Re: the longest thread, thread - Occasionally NSFW

Postby AndyDufresne on Thu Feb 21, 2013 11:18 am

Wait a minute. There's been a sighting of another weekday. **Munches on a banana**

On a side note, I received the film "Robot and Frank" from Netflix, and I think I will watch it tomorrow...


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Re: the longest thread, thread - Occasionally NSFW

Postby AndyDufresne on Fri Feb 22, 2013 10:07 am

And week nearly done. Phewfta. **Munches on a banana**


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Re: the longest thread, thread - Occasionally NSFW

Postby AndyDufresne on Fri Feb 22, 2013 3:06 pm

Triple posting. **Munches on a banana**


In case you've ever wanted to know how and why cockroaches (and some other insects) groom themselves, and see some great video of it in action. Thanks to NPR's "Science Friday."


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Re: the longest thread, thread - Occasionally NSFW

Postby pancakemix on Sun Feb 24, 2013 10:38 am

Not much activity in here.
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Re: the longest thread, thread - Occasionally NSFW

Postby AndyDufresne on Sun Feb 24, 2013 12:10 pm

That's why I posted about roaches. To drive up the activity. **Munches on a banana**


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