Welcome to the 19th issue of the Conquer Club Newsletter!
Well it's been a busy month since our last issue and we are way overdue for this 19th issue, but we're here now and back on track as the news team grows once again.
has joined the news team as a Co-Director, he'll be helping me run the show here. He'll be focusing on the Interview section of the newsletter for the most part, as well as helping with a few other things around the place which will be awesome!
We are still seeking staff if you're interested, we have fresh news about the Clan League, an interview with InsomniaRed as well as another adventure from our resident newt
We hope you enjoy this issue!
News Director Title: Tournament Reporter Job Description: A tournament regular who has been involved in either organising or playing in a tournament. Who doesn't restate what the Tournament Newsletter already covers, but rather provides a different experience. Perhaps by spotlighting a tournament and doing a profile on a particularly well run tournament. As well as reporting on any new features and/or announcements that come from the tournament forum. The overall aim of the is to better inform the community at large in order to encourge member involvment in the tournament society. Tournament Reporter
If interested in the above position, please fill out the simple form below and send it via PM to
Username: Position Interested In: What qualifies you for the position: 1. The Whac-a-Mod II Competition has almost come to a close, only 2 games remain active. Keep an eye on this thread for updates, results and medal distribution. 2. The Classic Map is being revamped after almost a year of having no official Classic Map. This thread contains all you need to know about the current revamp of Classic, which is being made by sully800. Stop by and comment on the current version and make a suggestion.
show: Clan News
Since I last wrote about clans, another 2 clans dropped out of the Clan League which now leaves 7 clans in both Div2A and Div2B. Division 2 will continue on with those numbers. After some hiccups, the league is now in full swing and the standings for each Division tell very different stories. Division 1 sees no real surprises other than THOTA's slow start at 7-10. A clan that is missing some key players and let's consider they started slow in Season 1 before they won the title. Division 2 sees TOFU off to a world-class start and showing why they were many player's pick to win the whole division. However another front runner DLPP at 2-14 is still reeling from the loss of their leader and Division2B is quite a surprise with newcomers Legends of the Zone leading the way. Other: The Clan Leader's Association is currently holding a vote for some leadership changes. Expect to see some minor changes in that group. If your clan has completed a 20+ game clan war and is not yet part of that group, please contact jpcloet. Some additional work was recently completed on Season 1 and you should see some additional things unveiled soon in the Clan area.
show: Interview with InsomniaRed
Q: Hi Insom
A: Hi there Senor Vegemite Q: samuelc812's title (or whatever you want to call it) is "senor vegemite". Red, have you ever had vegemite? A: Never have, never will. That's a promise. Q: Favorite movie? A: Lord of the Rings: Return of the King. Closely followed by Aladdin. Q: Favorite book? A: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Q: How old are you? A: I am 20. Q: If you were alone on a desert island, what would you want to have for breakfast? A: Hopefully some food! Q: Would you eat another person if it was necessary to stay alive? A: I guess, I mean if there was like a bbq with some good sauce. I could even live with ketchup. Wait, this question is wrong! Q: Have you ever been a cheerleader? A: No, I have not. Q: Are you nervous about what questions you might have to answer? A: Not really, I know what to expect from you guys Q: Whats the best gaming website on the web? A: In my opinion, Conquer Club, obviously. Q: Which is your favorite smiley face? A: I like these ones: Q: Myspace, Facebook or Twitter? A: Facebook. Q: Whats the longest you've ever gone without a shower/bath? A: I have no clue, it could be close to a week, when I went camping. Does the 7 showers I took when I got home make up for it though? Q: What color goes best with red? A: Blue! Q: What did you think of the t-o-m interview? Would you like to see him be able to come back? A: It was probably the best interview yet! I see him around chat still though. Q: Who would you like to thank for all of your CC accomplishments? A: My CC friends and my clan Eternal Empire. Namely: MrMoody, MrBenn, FireStar, samuelc812, New_rules (oh and all my freestyle dwarfs way back when for helping me not suck at CC as much as I did before - Scott-Land mostly!) Q: Also, what is the airspeed velocity of an unladed swallow? A: African or European? Q: Have You seen Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail? If Yes... Can you make me a shrubbery? A: I dunno about making you one, but I can bring ya one! P.S. - Ni!! Q: If you could add in any missing emoticon, what would it be? A: A yawning one probably. Q: What is it like being female in a community dominated by male strategy gaming nerds? A: Hilarious most of the time. Q: Similarly, how many times a day do you get hit on by our loving community members? A: Depends on the season, and how many people are currently banned, etc. Q: Do you like chocolate? A: Not particularly. Q: What are all of your memories? Also: Why? A: Age 1, Age 2, Age 3, Age 4, Age 5 - naptime rocks, Age 6, Age 7, Age 8, Age 9, Age 10, Age 11, Age 12 - bowling is fun, Age 13, Age 14 - Disneyland every weekend, Age 15, Age 16 - London trip, Age 17 - Carnegie Hall, Age 18 - Moving to Las Vegas, Age 19 - Moving back to Los Angeles, Age 20 - hospitals suck! Because: I was born. Q: Who are you and why don't I care? A: I am no one and you don't care because that's the way it should be. Q: If you were a hurricane, how fast would you rotate? A: As fast as inhumanly possible. Q: What is your Favorite movie/show? A: Well I already answered movie, so I could go with TV shows? But there are so many. Lost, Firefly, House, Glee, Lie To Me. Q: If you possessed the holy hand grenade, would you make bedub sit on it? A: I don't see that being terribly necessary, so no, I doubt it. Q: What is your favorite meal? A: Chicken. Bacon. Yeah that's probably it. Oh and maybe a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Q: Do you prefer dawn or dusk? A: Both! Q: If you was a Vampire, who would be the first person you turned!!!!! A: MrMoody so that we could play doubles games forever and so we have years and years of Lions/Vikings games to watch together. Go Vikings Q: Does your avatar encourage men to "hit on you"? A: Beats me. It might, but then again, I don't think it really matters. Q: What are some memorable moments from Live Chat, that some of those who may not frequent it as much as others have missed out on? A: Whenever big debates/arguments break out is always memorable, in good ways and sometimes bad ways. Things like: elections/politics, football, religion, Conquer Club drama. It's a fun-filled chatroom, that's for sure. Q: What attracted you to Live Chat in the first place? Were/are you a chatty person in other Chats throughout the internet? A: In the beginning it was something to do while I waited to take turns in my freemium 4 games! Q: What attracted you to Conquer Club in the first place? A: A friend had me join and I hated it. (Curse you Chinese Checkers map!!!) But then I got all addicted, loved it and would never leave, even if paid. Q: When you were offered a moderator position did you instantly accept it or did you initially have some reservations about taking up that kind of role knowing that it could potentially lead to some unpleasant scrutiny? A: I accepted it pretty much when it was offered, since I was basically helping out without it being official anyway, and I wanted to help however I could. Q: What is your favourite colour, and what colour armies do you like the most? A: Green. Aaaaaand GREEN! Q:If you could be any Nintendo character, who would you be and why? A: Obviously Link. Or Squirtle. Because Link is the best Nintendo character of all time, and Squirtle is just awesome. Q: What is your favourite map (apart from the old Classic)? A: Age of Realms 2 to play. Midgard is my favourite map to look at though, it's beautiful. Q: Is Conquer Club really your homepage? For how long now? A: Yes. Hmm....a year and a half now. Q: If you could go back in time, what three famous people would you like to meet the most? A: What? 3?! No. 5. Everyone always has Top 5 lists. I disregard your 3 and will tell you my 5. William Shakespeare, Leonardo da Vinci, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, Winston Churchill and Harry S Truman. I have never changed one person on this list since I made it years ago. Q: Give your top three classical music composers along with your favorite pieces by them? A: Mozart, Handel, and Beethoven if we'retalking classic classical. Current though, John Williams, Hans Zimmer and Alan Menken. John Williams is by far my favorite, and my favorite piece by him is "Main Theme" from Schindler's List. Q: Over the years what are the things that have been positive steps forward for the community and those that, in your opinion, have been steps in reverse? A: Steps forward: Getting rid of Flame Wars, updating the guidelines, most updates in general that improve the game. Steps backward: wicked, Hyasri, Classic map having to go byebye. Q: Do you think that it is easier now or back then for a new player to integrate into the site? A: It's probably easier now, since Society of the Cooks is probably the most helpful part of CC for new members. It's really great!! Q: In what ways to you feel that Chat has a positive role to play here over and above things like game chat, clan forums, the message boards and PM's? A: I don't know if I would say Live Chat is more important than any of those other things mentioned, however it has the advantage of being the only truly real-time way of communication on the site, as well as a place to hang out while bored or waiting for something, also the quickest way to find a game fast. I am glad we have the chatroom, it really adds something great to the site. Q: Back to the food topic: When deciding what to eat, do you pick by a) What is cheapest? b) What is easiest to prepare or c) Whatever is closest at hand? A: A is I am going out, B is I am staying in! Q: What is the nerdiest thing about you none of us on CC know? A: While I lived in Las Vegas, I did charity events dressed as a Stormtrooper, and sometimes I just dressed as a Stormtrooper for the fun of it. Q: Thanks for your time Insom A: No problem Senor! Thanks for the fun interview guys
show: A Newts Tale
Now Playing: “The Attack of the Odd Smelling Creature from Under the Outhouse” Narrator: In this exciting issue The Newt explains the thrill of things slipping away… let’s tune in: Maybe it’s human nature. Maybe it’s because I’ve been spending too many late nights playing Speed Crack (please see below). But lately I feel like I’ve been in a made for Television, Funded by Arts Canada, C Grade Horror Movie. And it really, really sucks. You know the movie? The one where you go: “you would have to be an idiot to open that door.” And? Said idiot opens that door. And then gets stabbed in the forehead. Repeatedly. Yeah. I have knives in my forehead. Some of you do too. It is often (but not always to be sure) the reason for the “these dice can bite my hairy (albeit cute) arse” threads on the Board. It’s when you know you shouldn’t attack anymore. You KNOW it. Not even your crazy auntie who is always souped up on cold meds would attack anymore. But you do. Here is the dialogue straight from CC’s secret tapes: “Good job Elf. You’ve moved forward well this turn. Now fort-up and move along.” Voice of Reason : “What?!?! Yeah baby! Kickin’ Arse and taking names you Mother Of An Anteater’s Cousin! Deal with that!!!” Elfish_Lad : “Hah, Elf. Good one. Now. Take that little lost 2 over there and place it on this stack of 5 here. Okay?” Voice of Reason : “Right on! Moving forward! Gonna snag me another country before I’m done this turn, then I’ll get me a righteous bonus next turn and then on to the next territory and then VICTORY you Cow Looking Foppish Goul!” Elfish_Lad : “Elf! STOP!!! Sweet Mother of...” Voice of Reason : “Woo! Hoo! Forward HOOOOOE!!!! Elfish_Lad : What?!?! Where did all my little armies go? Damn... These dice suck.” “…” Voice of Reason : “How did this knife get stuck in my forehead anyway?!?!” Elfish_Lad : “F U.” Voice of Reason : Narrator: Stay tuned for the next thrilling episode of “The Newt Throws Away The Lead Again!” The Elf and His Sexy Striptease Here is an interesting development I haven't figured out how to conquer: (as mentioned above) I've been hooked on speed games for the last month and it is random.org's fault. I want to learn doubles and quads. I want to figure out terminator and kill your neighbour's uncle (or whatever those other game types are). I do. Really. But I need intervention. You see a couple of weeks back I booted up a few 1v1's in Ireland. No spoils. Adjacent. Speed. And I started to win. It was 3:30 in the morning and I had won like 15 in a row. Some against folks with swords on their lapels. It was nuts. This was the result: Crazy. In no time at all I went from lowly Sargent-without-the-little-red-dot-in-the-middle guy to Luey! I thought "I'll just make it to Captain and go to bed." No. You don't see a Captain's applet presently there under my avatar. I know you know what happened, but I like to hear myself talk so I'm going to lay it out for you anyway. Ever have this experience as a kid? It is summer time and you're about 8 and you are running to the slide? You are ready to envision yourself as a sky-pilot dive bombing all the little kids at the bottom playing in the sand? You climb the ladder. You sit at the top in your best skater-dude-shorts and you begin your descent... (stop) and... your... (skid) burning legs... stick on the... (skin peals) hot slide all... the... (you don't want to cry but you can't help it) way... down to the... (frick, when is this going to end) bottom. Oh. Yeah. There was sand on the slide too. I went from "Almost Captian" to "Frick I'm A Corporal 1st Class Again" and then to bed in under two hours. Go me. It was inevitable of course. Nothing last forever. But now I feel like a coworker I know. We got her hooked on coffee. The first one's free but then you pay and pay and pay. She likes cappa-mocca-frappa-chugga-cuppa now at about $18 CDN a shot. She's lost her house to pay for the habit. I feel bad for her but hey, no one forced her to drink that first cup did they?!?! Nope. Stupid winning streak anyway. What makes it worse is the fact that at the same time there were all these posts on the board about sucky dice. And I snickered. Foolish little Elf Person. So. There you have it. The fortnightly rant of The Newt. Hope there was something in there you enjoyed. I'm off to play Ire... I'm off to... join in... a game of... Crap. You know where I'm going. Kill 'em all brothers and sisters. Kill 'em all. The Elf
Stay Tuned for the next issue of the Conquer Club Newsletter for an interview with
. Post any questions you may have for
Interview with MrBenn
New Competition Coming Soon!
Submitting Your Own Articles
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. If the CC News Team enjoy it than you may just see your article published in the Newsletter!
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News Director nagerous
Advisor Night Strike
Ask a Mod thenobodies80
Foundry Reporter the.killing.44
Foundry Reporter jpcloet
Clan Reporter elfish_lad
A Newt's Tale gimil