CC Dispatch [Issue 30: 8-5-10] A Spankerific Issue!

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CC Dispatch [Issue 30: 8-5-10] A Spankerific Issue!

Postby samuelc812 on Sat May 08, 2010 8:55 am

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Welcome Comrades to the 30th edition of the Dispatch :)

This issue we say farewell to our Tournament Editor Night Strike, he has done a great job in keeping the Tournament section running smoothly during his tenure, but he has decided to shift his focus completely back onto his role as head tournament director. Taking up the Tournament Editor position is Sir. Ricco, who coincidentally was a main contributor in the original Tournament Newsletter. I'm sure he will be a great addition :).

Things to Check out:

We hope you enjoy this weeks issue!

samuelc812 - Editor in Chief

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If you would like to apply to join the news team, please visit the thread below for more details! :)

Click here for Recruitment Details...

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Evening all.

Just a short edition of the Mess Hall this fortnight in an exciting couple of weeks for Conquer Club that has brought among other things a rapid expansion of Team CC with too many new members to list joining the fold, including a brand new Tech team. Also, this fortnight, the first of quarterly volunteer days was hosted where the administrative team hosted battle royales for the volunteers to partake in as a thank you for their regular hard work in keeping the website running and we also saw the off-topics forum change it's name to bumpage, which has proved quite controversial so far, spawning a backlash from many of the off-topic voters! This fortnight, I thought I would get off my proverbial butt and actually provide an article for the dispatch - on the Society of the Cooks! If you are new to the website, perhaps reading the newsletter for the first time I would highly recommend you check this out. Also, Minister Masket has written about one of the stranger plugins and addons CC offers, the floating game chat, we have an interrogation of long-standing member and moderator clapper011 and our elf has written about reaching the impressive rank of colonel and the pressures felt from holding such a rank. Natty_dread has provided another cartoon of the Cook on CC and stahrgazer has also provided a cartoon in honour of the clapper interview. Enjoy!


Nagerous

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Train a Cook today, lose to a Sergeant tomorrow! by nagerous
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Plugins and Addons by Minister Masket
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No Longer a Newt's Tale? by elfish_lad
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Interrogation of clapper011

show: Interrogation of clapper011

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This issue sees the addition of a new Tournament Writer in iamkoolerthanu, who quickly debuted his first article. This issue will also be my last as the Tournament Editor. I originally took the position on a planned temporary basis to make sure it got off on the right foot after being incorporated into the full CC Newsletter, so it's time to pass it off to someone who will have more time to run it. That person will be Sir. Ricco, who made contributions to the original Tournament Newsletter.

~Night Strike
Tournament Editor

Tournament Players Association by amazzony
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Tournament Tab: New Tournament Players by iamkoolerthanu
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Hello everyone! This week we - once again - welcome a new foundry reporter to our team. The Bison King will be starting an article series about maps that are recently released or soon to be released into live play, starting with Central America. Let's give him a warm welcome!

Our long time reporter dolomite13 will also be starting a new article series today, which will be published every other issue, alternating with the History 101 -series. Read more if you're interested! ;)

Of course we also have the old favorite, maps in development. Happy reading!

Foundry News by MarshalNey
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Map Spotlight: Central America by The Bison King
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Map Showcase: Orient Express by Industrial Helix
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Under the Hood: One-way borders by dolomite13
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Maps in development by natty_dread
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It's an exciting time for the clans - more competition and at a higher level than ever before, new clans forming, new players joining clans ... so we're relaunching the clan section of the Dispatch. We'll be bringing you news on clan matches, analysis of the clans, and players' own stories.
In this issue we are joined by Chuuuuck as we look ahead to the Conqueror's Cup quarter-finals, Bogangod reflects on what makes a clan live or die, hopscotcher tells how FOED grew out of O&H, and we hear how it is for one new recruit as he joins a clan.
And reptile talks to players from IA, LoW, KORT and BpB, and the clan directors too, to bring us a major retrospective on season two of the Clan League.

Conqueror's Cup - Quarter Final Previews by laughingcavalier
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Clan Longevity - a Bogan's Musings by BoganGod
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O&H - FOED: Trying to Hold Lightning by hopscotcher
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The Clan League 2009/2010 Rundown by reptile
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HOT DATE by laughingcavalier with ZionT and barterer2002 of G1
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Stay Tuned for the next issue of the ConquerClub Dispatch for an interrogation of thenobodies80. Post any questions you may have for them here --> Interrogation with thenobodies80

Submitting Your Own Articles

If you have a story you think the ConquerClub Community would find interesting, you can submit your articles to nagerous and you may just see your article published in the Newsletter!

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ConquerClub Dispatch Team
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Re: CC Dispatch [Issue 30: 8-5-10] A Spankerific Issue!

Postby alex951 on Sat May 08, 2010 12:02 pm

Damn I didn't know clappy was being interviewed.
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Re: CC Dispatch [Issue 30: 8-5-10] A Spankerific Issue!

Postby Foxglove on Sat May 08, 2010 12:21 pm

Thank you, newsletter team, for this exciting content filled issue!

Unfortunately, Minister Masket, I do have some troubled feelings regarding the gross inaccuracies present in your coverage of my glorious chatglove script!

To wit:
Clueless Masket wrote:So one of our tech monkeys had hit his head enough times with a wrench to create this add-on.


Gender: inaccurate!

Clueless Masket wrote:Also, the creator appears to have a horse's head for an avatar. You can draw your own conclusions from that.


Animal in avatar identification: incorrect! That noble creature is a cow. A beatific nun cow, to be more specific.

Minister Masket wrote:The Floating Game Chat. Really? Who thought this would be a necessary contribution to the CC experience?


This is the most sorrowful travesty of all! Obviously I thought this was a useful and intriguing contribution as I spent a non-trivial amount of time creating it. :)

I took a look at your game selection, Minister Masket, and it is obvious to me why you fail to appreciate the excellence of this add-on. The chatglove is ideal for communicating in team games and in speed games (neither of which you seem to play much!), so that you can see both the game chat and the map at the same time, without scrolling. Additionally, to further facilitate team chat, the chatsniffer feature of the chatglove alerts you when you have unread game chat in any of your games.

Anyway, I will readily admit that there are many people for whom this script will provide no real benefits, but if you are going to feature it in the newsletter the least you could do is make a trifling effort to understand the problems it is meant to address and the players who might appreciate it.

But, thanks anyway!

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Re: CC Dispatch [Issue 30: 8-5-10] A Spankerific Issue!

Postby #1_stunna on Sat May 08, 2010 12:49 pm

What do we say, next issue we knock another add on that one of our fellow Conquer Clubbers makes?
12:17:31 ‹Pixar› im gonna be fappin to that all night long
10:59:12 ‹rhp 1› holy hell... that did it.. I pissed myself
15:15:52 ‹Ace Rimmer› Sackett58, I think I may get some action this weekend
15:16:05 ‹Sackett58› Right hand or left Ace?
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Re: CC Dispatch [Issue 30: 8-5-10] A Spankerific Issue!

Postby agonzos on Sat May 08, 2010 12:57 pm

Usually, I find the articles in the Dispatch informative and/or entertaining. Unfortunately, Minister Masket's article on the ChatGlove add-on is neither. He completely failed to do any research into the applicable uses for this add-on and in what game situations it would come in handy. Additionally, he didn't even mention the added benefit of having the add-on keep track of when you have new chat messages in your games, so that you don't miss anything that your teammates may have posted in your team games.

I am very disappointed that he would rather take cheap shots at a fellow CCer (who has taken the time to offer a useful contribution to the other gamers on the site), than to actually take the time to learn about the add-on and then inform others of the pros and cons so that they can make up their own minds on whether to add the add-on to their CC experience.

Shameful and sad Masket.
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Re: CC Dispatch [Issue 30: 8-5-10] A Spankerific Issue!

Postby clapper011 on Sat May 08, 2010 1:03 pm

alex951 wrote:Damn I didn't know clappy was being interviewed.

was up for almost 2 weeks... well week and a half ;)
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Re: CC Dispatch [Issue 30: 8-5-10] A Spankerific Issue!

Postby reptile on Sat May 08, 2010 4:34 pm

nice job on the conqueror's cup LC!
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Re: CC Dispatch [Issue 30: 8-5-10] A Spankerific Issue!

Postby the.killing.44 on Sat May 08, 2010 4:40 pm

Minister Masket may be the greatest journalist in history:

Minister Masket wrote:So one of our tech monkeys had hit his head enough times with a wrench to create this add-on. As a result, now you can fufill the impossible dream of detaching the comments box from underneath the map and moving it wherever you want around the screen!

Ew, who would want more versatility and less scrolling on the game page!?

Minister Masket wrote:What fun! You can even place the box directly over the map itself, so you can hide the shame of having only 2 territories to your opponent's 48 from anyone who might be watching over your shoulder.

Minister Masket on a piece of meat: "What fun! You can even place the steak in the middle of your TV!"
Minister Masket on a golf club: "What fun! You can even try to shoot a basketball with it!"
Amazing how you can portray an object in a bad and useless light when you frame it into situations where it's not in the least intended to be used!

Minister Masket wrote:Still not convinced? The link there at the bottom states that the download also makes the chat "warm and fuzzy", although one has to suspect if this is a thinly-veiled marketing ploy to lure the weak minded.

Any other references you wish to let fly above your head before you allow yourself to sound stupid?

Minister Masket wrote:Also, the creator appears to have a horse's head for an avatar. You can draw your own conclusions from that.

In other news, someone just unlocked a door. Good thing this anecdote is relevant and adds to the reference!

P.S. you misspelt fulfill.
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Re: CC Dispatch [Issue 30: 8-5-10] A Spankerific Issue!

Postby elfish_lad on Sat May 08, 2010 4:42 pm

Hmm... here is what the article on the chatglove was really saying:

Huzzah! for the chatglove which enables you to know your team-mates are most likely yelling at you before you even enter the game!

Huzzah! for its ability to allow you to see the enemy swearing at you with regard to your dice/drop/skill/avatar without having to scroll down the page!

Huzzah! to the chatglove and its creator for lowering the stress level of a speed dubs game... lowering but not eliminating of course. To eliminate that stress one would have to avoid speed dubs altogether, which, sadly, is not possible for me.

Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah!

E.
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Re: CC Dispatch [Issue 30: 8-5-10] A Spankerific Issue!

Postby the.killing.44 on Sat May 08, 2010 5:01 pm

elfish_lad wrote:Hmm... here is what the article on the chatglove was really saying:

Huzzah! for the chatglove which enables you to know your team-mates are most likely yelling at you before you even enter the game!

Huzzah! for its ability to allow you to see the enemy swearing at you with regard to your dice/drop/skill/avatar without having to scroll down the page!

Huzzah! to the chatglove and its creator for lowering the stress level of a speed dubs game... lowering but not eliminating of course. To eliminate that stress one would have to avoid speed dubs altogether, which, sadly, is not possible for me.

Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah!

E.

Would've been a funny short article that pokes fun at the utility of the add-on, see?
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Re: CC Dispatch [Issue 30: 8-5-10] A Spankerific Issue!

Postby Royal Panda on Sat May 08, 2010 6:14 pm

I can't believe you ACTUALLY published that quote from me Hops!!

(Though I can't deny it came from my very own cockney keyboard)
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Re: CC Dispatch [Issue 30: 8-5-10] A Spankerific Issue!

Postby chephren on Sat May 08, 2010 9:05 pm

There have been a few misleading articles in recent issues. That one by Minister Masket completely misses the point and is factually inaccurate too. If someone is going to review add-ons ( which is a great idea, by the way) then can we get someone who has actually USED the add-on before reviewing it. Everyone in EMPIRE uses Chatglove/Chatsniffer and the creator of the add-on regularly creates great little scripts that benefit the users on CC. You may note that the creator is from KoRT, not EMPIRE - so this is not about sticking up for clan mates or anything.

How about this use of Chatglove? You are training somebody on a new map and they can move the chat window to where they can see your comments as they are sent rather than having to scroll up and down continuously....and missing something important.

How about this use of chatsniffer? You are awaiting advice on a move in a game from your team mates. As soon as they enter something in chat you are alerted by a Red "new game chat" note appearing under the appropriate game.

It may not be for everyone but I can guarantee that the people who read this newsletter the most are the people who benefit from tweaks such as these.

It would just be great if there someone who actually reads and edits articles before they "go to press" to avoid the writers sounding silly.
Last edited by chephren on Sun May 09, 2010 12:02 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: CC Dispatch [Issue 30: 8-5-10] A Spankerific Issue!

Postby agonzos on Sat May 08, 2010 11:17 pm

chephren wrote:There have been a few misleading articles in recent issues. That one by Minister Market completely misses the point and is factually inaccurate too. If someone is going to review add-ons ( which is a great idea, by the way) then can we get someone who has actually USED the add-on before reviewing it. Everyone in EMPIRE uses Chatglove/Chatsniffer and the creator of the add-on regularly creates great little scripts that benefit the users on CC. You may note that the creator is from KoRT, not EMPIRE - so this is not about sticking up for clan mates or anything.

How about this use of Chatglove? You are training somebody on a new map and they can move the chat window to where they can see your comments as they are sent rather than having to scroll up and down continuously....and missing something important.

How about this use of chatsniffer? You are awaiting advice on a move in a game from your team mates. As soon as they enter something in chat you are alerted by a Red "new game chat" note appearing under the appropriate game.

It may not be for everyone but I can guarantee that the people who read this newsletter the most are the people who benefit from tweaks such as these.

It would just be great if there someone who actually reads and edits articles before they "go to press" to avoid the writers sounding silly.


Well said.
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Re: CC Dispatch [Issue 30: 8-5-10] A Spankerific Issue!

Postby Chuuuuck on Sat May 08, 2010 11:39 pm

I agree with the last few posts. I am rather upset with the author about the chatglove script for pretty much everything that was written in it.

I am even more upset with whoever is in charge of editing and publishing the entire dispatch. It is a disgrace to all of the hard work you all do to allow a story like that to go to press. Not only was the article uninformed and non factual, but the author actually went out of his/her way to sarcastically put down the script and the creator of the script.

In my honest opinion I think that script is the 2nd most important script that has been created for this site. Behind BOB only. And if BOB didn't have snapshots then I would say that script is the most important. All in all, I have really enjoyed the Dispatch and seeing it grow, but that 1 article has made me lose a lot of respect for you all as a whole.

Well done. =D> (that is my form of sarcasm)
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Re: CC Dispatch [Issue 30: 8-5-10] A Spankerific Issue!

Postby clapper011 on Sun May 09, 2010 12:34 am

well rather disappointing that the rest of this issue is getting over shadowed by that 1 article! sorry foxy!
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