Welcome Comrades to the 39th edition of the Dispatch
Our interviewee this week is
, a very special Conquer Club hero. Special not for his gameplay or for mod-ing or for any of the conventional reasons but for his contributions to the forums, especially to off-topics. In our interview he shows his charm, compassion and wit and above all shares with us from his vast fund of life experience. Read on for his rib-tickling adventures in the penguin enclosure at Luanda Zoo.
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Apologies for the lack of content in this edition's freestyle news. There will be no community opinion this edition. InsomniaRed opted to let the issue die out on its own rather than relighting any fires, due to a few harassing PMs, a few serious PMs, and her own judgement. However, we hope to make up for it with the long awaited interrogation from saxitoxin and also the return of the cook! Want to write for the dispatch or perhaps an article on an issue you feel is very important to you on this website? Drop me a PM and if your article is good we will publish it! Stay tuned for the following edition which will have a christmas theme to it in time for Conquer Club's fifth anniversary and a very special interrogation
show: Interrogation of saxitoxin
Q. Is that you on your avatar?
Q. What am I to do in the event of a Sax Attack?
LOL! Don’t worry about a SAX ATTAK! That’s nothing serious, that’s just when I shake the sillies out in the forums! Pay no attention to crazy ol’ Sax! ACK! LMAO!
Q. We all know you're an international man of science, which of your many research expeditions would you say is your favorite?
I’ve been having Army of God over to my house lately for pizza parties. Well, between you and me, the reason I don’t eat any of the pizza isn’t because I’m “allergic to pizza” as I’ve been telling AOG. Oddly, of the many CC’ers I invited over for pizza parties – InkL0sed, 2dimes, young Freiherr PWN, Scott, GabonX, Nietzsche, theGreekDog, notyou2, etc. – AOG is the only one who, not only showed up, but keeps accepting my return invites. I guess he really likes pizza. Anywho, plan on publishing the research I've been gathering during his "little naps" in the next couple months. Probably in The Lancet. Or LiveJournal. One of those two.
Do you have a facebook account?
UGH! Sordid history with social networking here. I had a Friendster account but it got shut-down under an Interpol worldwide material witness warrant in 2004 after the United States ratified the Salzburg Convention for the Prosecution of Fugitives from Charges of Torture. Also had a Twitter account but it got shut-down under King Achilles orders after the 2009 complaint filed by jefjef in the C&A forum. However, because you asked, I just started a MyFace page here: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Saxi-Toxi ... 5912011502.
Have you ever visited live chat? Have you ever violated live chat?
I don’t know who Live Chat is so I can definitely say I’ve neither visited her nor violated her.
Which game is better - Enders or The Hunger?
SAX ATTAK! LMAO! J/K gang – had to take a break from the questions to shake some of the sillies out! ACK! LOL!
Who would you rather mud wrestle with, Stalin or Lenin?
What do you think Trotsky's big mistake that lead to his ouster was? And as a follow-up how would the world wide revolution have been different had Trotsky taken over after Lenin's death?
- Trotsky failed to realize the exigencies of the Revolution necessitate the advancement of praxis over theory. - It would have been transformed into a banker's puppet movement.
JUST WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?
I’m an 18 year-old hip-hop activist chillin in a phat loft in San Diego’s Gas Lamp District!* *trapped in the body of a 74 year-old German immigrant living in a gated community in Santa Barbara
How do you think History would be different if Germany had won the first world war?
The cycle of war on the European continent would have continued as it did but without the motivating quench for liberation afforded by defeat. It is for the best that the people of Germany, led by the vanguard of the communist party, overthrew the Hohenzollern family and brought an end to WWI.
What were the happiest times of your life?
Hmmm, that’s hard to say. Two of my happiest memories either involve Finland or Finns. That may be why I like Natty Dread so much. 1. Attending the 1962 World Festival of Democratic Youth in Helsinki and – briefly - falling in love with an attractive, young Irish delegate, only to never see her again. (bittersweet) 2. The Finnish rock star Kirka was big in the democratic-sector of Germany in the ‘70’s. In 1977 he was Finland’s entry in the Intervision Song Contest in Sopot, Poland which I had the chance to attend. At the time Intervision was the premier cultural event of the international community of socialist states. He performed one of my favorite songs of all time “Abduction of a Girl.” I always cherished that memory and then, two years ago – when I got a YouTube – I found a movie-film of the performance and it was exactly as I remembered: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RE9sQEw0W4s You should listen to the whole song but, if you don’t, just fast forward to 1:39 where Kirka almost comes in early but then calmly catches himself, laughs it off and continues. Classic Kirka! (Speaking of ’77 Intervision, the Austrian group Springtime performed their ’78 Eurovision number “Mrs. Caroline Robinson” at Intervision ‘77 which I also had a chance to hear. Here’s a clip of them singing at Eurovision in ’78 [couldn’t find the performance I saw at Intervision sadly]: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Kk1cyfnEjg. It’s a really charming and funny song, about a witch in a country town who decides to redo her image, hang-up her broom and pointed hat in exchange for Chanel perfume and various fashionable clothes. Springtime came to Berlin in ’79 to perform at Rote Liederfest so I got to see them a second time, too. I still own their album! Funny aside – apparently I used to look like Gerhard Markel [the lead singer for Springtime in the video] when I was younger. That’s what all my friends said, anyway!) 3. Another happy memory is when I recently found out I had a son who is a talented young artist.
Describe your earliest memory
I have a lot of memories but they fade as you get older so my earliest "crystal clear" memory is only about 40 years ago. I met a Polish Milicja Obywatelska colonel in Angola. He was a grizzled old lover of wine and whiskey with a fine Cuban cigar permanently affixed to his lips. His fatigues were accented by hand crafted leather boots and he'd be as comfortable mounting a thoroughbred race horse as a sultry young woman. His headquarters had encamped at the central zoological gardens of Luanda (“Luanda Zoo” as they say in Portuguese) where I had been operating a makeshift clinic conducting experimental treatments in ophiophobia while an international solidarity volunteer with the DDR’s Combat Groups of the Working Class. Shortly after his unit’s arrival, Col. Duda’s aide de camp – Lt. Gorski, if I recall correctly - came running up, furtively waving his arms in the air. “Dr. Toxin!” he cried. “There’s been a terrible accident, come quick!” It turned out Col. Duda – who enjoyed a midday drink now and again - had fallen into the penguin enclosure. Fearing the worst, I grabbed my medical bag and we raced off to what I thought might be a scene of terrible carnage. Well, upon arrival, not only was Col. Duda fine but he had killed two of the penguins with his bare hands (“technically” – it was with his bare hands operating a TT-30 pistol) and was threatening the rest of the flock with a similar fate! We laughed long and hard and offered a cleaning pole to Duda to help fish him out. The story doesn’t end there – no, sir! Duda declined our assistance until he had finished off the rest of the flock! Imagine that! After we got him out of the penguin enclosure I got a good whiff of his breath … let me just say that the Poles do love their drink! Duda then proceeded from cage to cage of every great beast at the Luanda Zoo – aardvarks, marmosets, koalas, and so forth – single-handedly massacring each to make the grounds safe for his men. I remember we all celebrated Duda’s heroics that night by feting him in one of Luanda’s many fine exotic dance clubs. That was a different age. They just don’t make officers like Max Duda anymore. Also, it subsequently turned out that Luanda’s exotic dance clubs were basically petri dishes of HIV. C'est la vie.
Is 42 really the answer, and if so. Why?
As I’ve mentioned, I’m a retired physician. As such I’ve seen many people naked. This was often a source of controversy with my colleagues who questioned why a psychiatrist would need all his patients to undress, but that’s a different issue. A therapist can’t help if he doesn’t feel comfortable. I don’t feel comfortable when a patient comes in for treatment and I’m the only one naked. That’s why I would insist all my patients disrobe. Anyway, I digress. This part doesn’t really have anything to do with your question. I was just feeling a little randy and wanted to note that I’ve seen many people naked. Anyway, to respond to your inquiry: I have a dear friend, Laurent, with whom I served in the National Volksarmee back in the ‘60’s. Laurent - due to a minor legal misunderstanding – can only travel to Venezuela, Cuba and parts of Oregon. However, naturally I’m good friends with all the Mexican immigration mods, so they sometimes “look the other way” to allow Laurent to visit me at my lodge in Tecate. Laurent’s last trip to Mexico was a few years ago. When Laurent arrived he immediately wanted to partake of all the hedonistic luxury that Mexico affords tourists. We piled into my 2006 JET-BLACK LA FORZA SUV and roared out of the driveway of my lodge, making a straight-line north to Nuevo Laredo. Imagine, if you will, the shenanigans and off-colour adventures Laurent and I had in our road-trip to Laredo! Verily, it was rather like the Mexican film Y tu mama tambien (if the main characters had been a pair of arthritic, 70-something Germans, as opposed to a pair of horny Mexican high schoolers). Hang on for a moment, someone’s at the door. I’ll continue this story momentarily.
On a scale of one to nine-thousand, how honestly are you answering these questions (on average) ?
If nine-thousand is most honest, I'm answering at about a 10K right now.
Do you think you're next forum ban will be self-determined or from the higher ups?
All of my forum bans have been self-imposed, including my sixer. The Valued Mods and I are good friends and we often jawbone with each other about how to make Conquer Club a more valuable, caring and inclusive community. Sometimes I recommend on imposing a self-ban so as to motivate other players to enhance the value of their commentary. It’s all about building community, gang, and about celebrating our diversity and shared experiences. Let ’s c eleb rate! Now, I feel this gives me a good opportunity to address the "elephant in the room" or - to be more physiologically correct - the koala in the room: Army of God. BOO-FREAKIN-HOO. When ol’ Saxi was banned for six months (voluntarily, of course) this is the response I got from the community: “Bummer, Saxi! Oh well. See ya’ in six!” Pardon me if I don’t join in all the hair-rending expressions of grief and misery at AOG’s 30-day ban.
What public-serving roles have you undertaken on Conquer Club? I'm familiar with your 'Unofficial CC Happiness Ombudsman' --- but I know I'm missing a few others. Could you also describe these roles for the uninformed?
I really like to help out on CC and have been happy to assume a number of volunteer roles including, but not limited: Unofficial CC Outrage Ombudsman Unofficial CC iPhones Advisor Unofficial CC Happiness Ombudsman Alternate Dispute Adjudicator Unofficial CC Sunshine Coordinator
Who's your favourite historical figure?
Which model will be your next iPhone?
My current model iPhone is the Droid HTC Incredible and, I'll tell you what, I've been salivating over some of the new iPhones that are coming out. Who knows?! ACK!
Saxi,Saxy or Saxie?
Saxi! LOL! It was never a nickname of which I was terribly fond but I was honoured in 1982 when the central sub-committee for production and naming standards of the Ministry of Agriculture of the Socialist Republic of Vietnam chose to name a cola with my nickname as part of an expression of solidarity on the opening of the DDR consulate in Ho Chi Minh City. They still make it, too! (Funniest part is I've neither ever been to Vietnam nor even had the chance to taste the cola that bears my name!)
If I kicked you in the shins, how would you respond?
I lost my shins during an accident when I was serving in Angola and had to have them replaced by titanium shins. So, I probably wouldn’t even notice. In fact, large portions of my body have been replaced by plastic, titanium, steel, aluminum foil, dental floss and papier mache so there are many places I could be kicked if one were so inclined. But don't kick poor ol' Sax! ACK!
Whose Avatar is or was your favorite?
Almost young Freiherr v. PWN, but not quite. I always thought it might be clever if he changed avatars weekly, each with a different hat. I'm biased toward 2dimes as I made his avatar so I shan't answer with that one. Nietzsche's present avatar is the obvious choice but it's just too much. His posts are already so delightful that, when coupled with that adorable avi, it's as close as I'll ever get to knowing what the Pillsbury Doughboy feels like when that monstrous woman is molesting him. Bison King is another selection I can't choose because of a conflict-of-interest as TBK and I have a familial relationship. Though, to be fair, the extent of my involvement in raising him was my responsibility to give him "The Talk." And I handled that via a novelty postcard I sent from North Dakota: Because, last time I checked, his avatar was of one of my personal heroes - Bonaparte - and, also, because I genuinely consider him the most interesting man on ConquerClub, I would choose Army of Nobunga.
Who is responsible for global warming?
My brauts certainly aren't helping.
Why does someone die every second of every day?
Was Obama really a good choice of president?
That's difficult for me to say. I don't believe in sticking my nose in the affairs of other countries. However, even though I'm not a U.S. citizen, I am a resident of that nation so allow myself some leeway for criticism. Let me just say that only 1 of the 8 ballots I cast in 2008 was for Obama and leave it at that.* * 5 for Gloria LaRiva, 2 for Ralph Nader and 1 for Obama (and that one was just because Kanye West was offering a free MP3 download)
Why are you being interviewed?
Well, nagerous and some of the other Valued Mods had a great idea to start this CC newsletter and, I guess, though it would be a great way to kick-it off in style by including an interview of me in the inaugural issue. Awww, shucks, gang! LOL! Anywho, I jumped at the opportunity to help-out the CC community and told nagerous I'd do whatever he needed (though I did put my foot down and say I would to show full-skin [though perhaps some tasteful "tease" shots, but I guess they didn't have page space so they decided to just keep it with text]). not be willing
Why do we exist?
What a great question! FU NZ ER S! Reminds me of last weekend when I was barbecuing brauts with my neighbor, Grizzly Rex – or is it Snakes McGraw (sometimes I can’t keep track of all the characters in this storyline; I asked .44 to make me a flowchart in Pictureshop for my ease of reference but he dropped the ball) – wait … sorry, what was the question again?
If you could only use emoticons to answer this question, which emoticons would you use?
The Canadian emoticon! LMAO, gang! I know I razz on Canada a lot but I do it because I actually like it so gosh darn much. Canada slips under the radar without being criticized so I’ve made it my role in life to do so. It’s like my Rex, Old Tom II, has a tendency to get rather full of himself (as cats do) so I make a practice of telling him – once a week or so – that he’s fat or lazy or some such thing to keep him grounded. So, let me make clear there’s a lot I absolutely adore about Canada. I’ll name three things to prove it: (1) icewine [reminds me of home], (2) the creamy, acne-free skin and well-toned lacrosse thighs of Canadians, (3) Canada’s proximity to the Mall of America.* *Take away ol’ Saxi’s Discover card before you let him anywhere near a Crate & Barrel! SRSLY - LOL!
Who is your favourite member of Team CC?
tie between Greek Dog and Sax Lad
Do you have a life outside of CC?
I’m writing this reply in bed with a blonde on either side of me in the Councillor’s Suite at the Palace Hotel in Gstaad where I’ve come to pick-up a new Volvo C70. You tell me.
What's your FAV colour, Saxi?
red, of course!
Could you please define love for me?
Love means never having to ask permission before starting a game of Tickle Monster.
Thanks for your questions!
Vorwärts immer, rückwärts nimmer! amazzony
looks at some of the tourneys that are worth joining this week, and
takes a look at speed tournaments.
Join This? Or Not! by amazzony
show: JOIN THIS - OR NOT
"Join This? Or Not!" is an unprofessional, biased and subjective view on
Create/Join a Tournament forums and which great (or not so great) tournaments can be found in there. I'll start today's suggestions with by Vampires VS Werewolves 2: Soviet Union (TPA) jpcloet who brings us an interesting concept where you are turned into a werewolf, vampire or a (boring) human. Here's a rare chance to join barterer2002's tournament: . You don't want to miss that! History of the World Part II Europe mcshanester29 offers also something rare to join - a freestyle terminator - . MC's The Terminator's Revenge jakewilliams gives you be a chance of with 3 simple tasks. Don of CC Finally, I will never get tired of advertising which is run by The Speed League - Season 4 - Wednesday Evenings DJ Teflon and HighlanderAttack. Speed tournaments by jrh_cardinal
show: Speed Tournaments
Speed tournaments are a quickly expanding way to enjoy Conquer Club tournaments. The founder of speed tournaments,
DJ Teflon, has run more than a dozen speed tournaments, beginning with the first Speed League, a tournament run without official tournament privileges, through Callouts. When asked what gave him the idea of running a speed tournament, he said " As I enjoy both speed games and tournaments it seemed like a wicked idea to put the two together - maximum fun and adrenaline rush, especially for those of us too impatient to play out full-length big tournaments and long casual games." He has continued his speed tournament organizing, and is currently running his fourth Speed League, with the help of HighlanderAttack. HighlanderAttack joined speed organizing relatively recently. He first tried running a speed tournament in February, but he was unsuccessful. Then, after taking a few months off, he has recently started his Weekly Speed along with helping with the Speed League 4. I asked HighlanderAttack why speed tournaments are gaining such popularity. They're the same idea as casual tournaments, except players are forced to be online for several hours nonstop. He said " Speed tourneys are real time--you play the entire game/tourney in one block of time. I compare it to other tourneys like darts, foosball, and pool where you go out for a night and play in a tourney and it is over that same night." Speed tournaments look to continue to expand in the future. Both DJ Teflon and HighlanderAttack have plans to continue running more speed tournaments, and wish to get other organizers involved as well. HighlanderAttack said he wants to run a traditional speed tournament where all games are played in one three or four hour block of time, and also run daily and weekend versions of his Weekly Speed. DJ Teflon said " There will be more tournaments in the New Year, of various formats, so there should be something to suit all speed players... Eventually, I am hoping we can get enough speed tournaments running to merit having a Calendar of Events..." The future appears to be very bright for anyone interested in speed tournaments. If you are interested in running a speed tournament, please contact DJ Teflon, the Tournament Director in charge of speed tournaments.
In this issue we have a new History 101 highlighting the military history of the Unites States of America. To keep with that theme we are featuring California as our Map Spotlight and Sully's Old School for the Quenched sets its sights on USApocalypse. I would also like to thank
for the great job he did as the Foundry Executive in charge of the newsletter foundry team. I only hope that I can live up to those that have gone before me --
dolomite13 Latest News FFF Holiday Contest Still Open MrBenn
is still on the lookout for entries to the
Festive Foundry Fun
contest. Medals have already gone out to those who have submitted their own cheery little logos... but
wants more! So anyone with toy soldiers, mincemeat pies, or other holiday icons from your corner of peaceful Earth, share your logo and gain a chance to win a contest medal.=120]
Want to follow the pulse of Conquer Club's Map Foundry?
Join this usergroup
and receive notifications when new maps are at key stages of development, and receive advance notifications of Foundry contests or official Foundry projects.
Maps Review On the Move
Celtic Nations Goes Bragh... er, Beta The Bison King, creator of Thysenal, has followed up with one of CC's more elegant maps. Celtic Nations is simple- yet full of strategic possibility- and is sure to be a favorite among fans of small-map play. Thematically centered around the fierce warriors of ancient times, the map covers the lands of modern-day Ireland, Great Britain and northern France. So don your kilt and brush up on your Gaelic, for great deeds await in the battles to come! Stalingrad Fires Out of Beta To this author's delight, cairnswk's intricate depiction of one of the most grim battles in World War II history has been quenched. Stalingrad is a must-play for lovers of deep strategy, and will doubtless become a 'specialty map' among the higher ranks. Congratulations cairnswk! On the Horizon
Just to give our readers a sneak peek at the near future, here's a list of maps in the Final Forge that are close to live play: South Africa 1885 South Africa 1885 is one of Industrial Helix's excellent historical maps that depict the turbulent region when British Imperial troops and other interested parties were threatening tribal lands. Inspired by The Bison King's watercolor graphics, the map is painted in a similar style. The XML appears complete, and is awaiting a final approval before submission for Beta. Clandemonium The much-anticipated map from our current Conqueror Blitzaholic and mapmaking guru Kabanellas that depicts CC's own clans vying for mastery over each other's turf in a mystical land. Featuring excellent graphics, and input from many clan members, Clandemonium is currently awaiting some final touches on the XML code. The King's Court The King's Court is an intense map of feudal empire-building from Foundry mainstays Kabanellas and chipv. Done in a graphical style reminiscent of Clandemonium (see above) but with added gameplay elements of intrigue and production lines. The map was recently moved to the Final Forge, but has much of the XML already in place and so should be moving to Beta faster than usual. The Balkan Peninsula ZeakCytho and Foundry Foreman MrBenn are working hard to give CC another corner of the world to conquer. The Balkan Peninsula portrays modern-day nations in muted tones that make it very easy on the eyes. Currently, the map is undergoing some very minor graphical tweaks and the XML is under construction. Feel free to stroll into these threads and give your input, all comments are welcome! In order to receive regular updates about maps going through the foundry subscribe to the Map Surveyors, a usergroup open to anyone in the CC community. Map Spotlight: California
San Fancisco, Hollywood, and all the places you know and love in the Golden State are up for grabs in a bloodbath of war and chaos, thanks to The Bison King! It would seem silly and probably self-indulgent for The Bison King to write about his own map (and interview himself, yeesh, that would be weird...), so the Foundry Team's own Victor Sullivan is here to report on the magic that is California! As the most populated and (arguably) culturally rich state of the fifty united, it is only suiting that California gets such an honor as to be the next victim of CC's "territorial" members. I got to interview the king himself about his marvelous creation: ==================================================================================== Sully: Aha! The tables have turned, eh, Bison? Tell us a bit about yourself. The Bison King: Indeed they have. I'm a 23 year old dude who lives in Cincinnati Ohio. My 2 favorite things are Cartoons and Cartography. Both of these I appreciate and create myself. Sully: This is your third map to date, correct? What style do you present with your maps? The Bison King: Correct. I present a hand done kind style, which hopefully brings a kind of warmth to the maps that I think Computer graphics leave out. Granted Computers are a large part of the process but it always starts on paper. I'm trying to develop a consistency in my work. Some people on the forums have been of the opinion that they'd like to see me branch out and try a new style, but it's sort of my philosophy that there are enough maps out there that don't look like I did them, and if people want to see more like that, I'll leave it to someone else. Sully: There are 50 states in the whole of the USA, so why California? The Bison King: Because I'm in love. As a fellow Ohioan I'm sure you can sympathize when I say it becomes easy to romanticize about other states. I have family over there so I've been there a lot. It's my hope to move there in a few years. I know that seems like a bit of a cliche, but when you're trying to find work in the animation industry it actually makes a lot of sense. Aside from my own personal reasons I really feel like California deserves a map of it's own. It's the most populous state, but really when you're over there you feel like your in another country. The place has a lot more character than say, Kansas, or Kentucky. Sully: What features are you excited to bring to the table with this map? The Bison King: Really this map is pretty straight forward. It has the whole City implement but that's not really something new as far as CC maps go. I think this map is going to have a slower pace to it than some of my other maps. What I mean is that this one has less Bonuses with larger territory counts. Especially when compared to Thyseneal Which is riddled with bonuses all over. Celtic Nations is sort of in it's own little world since it's so small. On this map players should have to work harder to steak their claims early on. Sully: Do you have any more ideas for the Foundry you'd like to pursue? The Bison King: Yes I do. A lot actually. It's hard because I'm starting to burn out but I have so many more idea's that I want to do. The hardest part is getting psyched up enough to actually start the map. Once you have it it's kind of like "we'll here it is, I'm not going to quite now". Once I get that first stamp I sort of feel a responsibility to finish it. It's a pain though. I won't lie the whole process can become very tiring. Closest to the top of my to do list is the Colonial Africa map. I really think this site needs a new Africa map. The subject matter is perfect for my style too. The problem is that I don't really have a firm grasp of African history so I really need to list the help of a historical expert. After that I have this idea for a map of the height of the Japanese Empire circa 1943-45. This wouldn't be a WWII map exactly but a map where the playable regions are all the Japanese occupied territories, like Korea, Manchuria, and the Philippines. ==================================================================================== The Bison King's Golden State of California is currently in the Graphics Workshop - stop on by to make your two cents worth more! Inside the Foundry History 101: The Military History of the United States of America (1620-1865)
Trying to chronicle the full history of the United States would be a grand undertaking indeed. So I have decided to focus on the military history of the United States and I will be presenting it in several installments.
The military history of the United States spans a period of over two centuries. During the course of those years, the United States evolved from a new nation fighting the British Empire for independence without a professional military, through a monumental American Civil War to the world's sole remaining superpower of the late 20th century and early 21st century. Overview In 1775, the Continental Congress created the Continental Army and named General George Washington its commander. This newly formed army, along with state militia forces, and the French army and navy, defeated the British in 1783. The new Constitution in 1788 made the president the commander in chief, with authority for the Congress to levy taxes, and make the rules. As of 2008, the U.S. military consists of an Army, Navy, Air Force and Marine Corps under the command of the United States Department of Defense. There also is the United States Coast Guard, which is controlled by the Department of Homeland Security. The President of the United States is the commander in chief of each branch of the armed forces. In addition, each state has a national guard commanded by the state's governor and coordinated by the National Guard Bureau. The President of the United States has the authority during national emergencies to assume control of individual state National Guard units. The last invasion of American soil took place in May 1943 on Attu Island off of Alaska as part of the Aleutian Islands Campaign during the Pacific War of World War II. Colonial wars (1620–1774) In the early years of the British colonization of North America, military action in the thirteen colonies that would become United States were the result of conflicts with Native Americans, such as in the Pequot War of 1637, King Philip's War in 1675, and the Yamasee War in 1715. Several internal conflicts and revolts also occurred during the colonial period, notably Leisler's Rebellion and the 1689 Boston revolt. In the Boston revolt, armed colonists took control of the city and seized the unpopular governor, Edmund Andros. The revolt resulted in the dissolution of the Dominion of New England, which had been established by James II of England to combine several colonies. Beginning in 1689, the colonies became involved in a series of wars between Great Britain and France for control of North America, the most important of which were Queen Anne's War, in which the British annexed French Acadia, and the final French and Indian War (1754–1763). This final war was to give thousands of colonists, including Virginia colonel George Washington, military experience which they put to use during the American Revolution. The Thirteen American Colonies
Industrial Helix Set during the American War of Independence, this map features the 13 American Colonies with the borders as they were in 1776. The map features no regional bonuses, but rewards players for holding a number of the 13 colonies. The map also contains killer neutral Indian routes and British and French ships to link distant territories. The ships also provide a bonus in conjunction with other colonies. War of Independence (1775–1783) Ongoing political tensions between Great Britain and the thirteen colonies reached a crisis in 1774 when the British placed the province of Massachusetts under martial law. The Continental Congress appointed George Washington as commander-in-chief of the newly created Continental Army. The British, for their part, lacked both a unified command and a clear strategy for winning. With the use of the Royal Navy, the British were able to capture coastal cities, but control of the countryside eluded them. A British invasion from Canada in 1777 ended with the disastrous surrender of a British army at Saratoga. The main British army was surrounded by Washington's American and French forces at Yorktown in 1781, as the French fleet blocked a rescue by the Royal Navy. The American victory forced the British to sue for peace. Napoleonic Europe 1812
Kabanellas The idea was to recreate Europe by the time of Napoleon, in 1812 precisely. Europe by that time offers a multitude of political and social idiosyncrasies holding all the right ingredients for a map that could be both interesting in terms of game-play and at the same time respect carefully all historical facts. Early national period (1783–1815) Following the American Revolution, the United States faced potential military conflict on the high seas as well as on the western frontier. In the Treaty of Paris after the Revolution, the British had ceded the lands between the Appalachian Mountains and the Mississippi River to the United States, without consulting the Shawnee, Cherokee, Choctaw and other smaller tribes who lived there. This provoked a war in the Northwest Territory in which the U.S. forces suffered defeat at the hands of American Indians. President Washington dispatched a newly trained army to the region, which decisively defeated the Indian confederacy at the Battle of Fallen Timbers in 1795. By far the largest military action in which the United States engaged during this era was the War of 1812. When the United Kingdom and France went to war again in 1803 with renewed vigor, the United States sought to remain neutral while pursuing overseas trade. This proved difficult, and the United States finally declared war on the United Kingdom in 1812, the first time the U.S. had officially declared war. Continental expansion (1816–1860) With very rapid population growth, the nation looked to the west for new lands, an idea which became known as "Manifest Destiny". In the Texas Revolution (1835–36), the settlers declared independence and defeated the Mexican army, but Mexico was determined to reconquer the lost province sooner or later, and threatened war with the U.S. if it annexed Texas. The U.S., much larger and more powerful, did annex Texas in 1845 and war broke out in 1846 over boundary issues. In the Mexican-American War 1846-48, the U.S. invaded and after a series of victorious battles (and no major defeats) seized New Mexico and California, and also blockaded the coast, invaded northern Mexico, and invaded central Mexico, capturing the national capital. The peace terms involved American purchase of the area from California to New Mexico for $10 million. American Civil War
Elijah S A graphic depiction of 1861, the onset of the war between the United States and Confederate States of America. American Civil War (1861–1865) Sectional tensions had long existed between the states located north of the Mason-Dixon Line and those south of it, primarily centered on the "peculiar institution" of slavery and the ability of states to overrule the decisions of the national government. During the 1840s and 1850s, conflicts between the two sides became progressively more violent. After the election of Abraham Lincoln in 1860 (who southerners thought would work to end slavery) states in the South seceded from the United States, beginning with South Carolina in late 1860. On April 12, 1861, forces of the South (known as the Confederate States of America or simply the Confederacy) opened fire on Fort Sumter, whose garrison was loyal to the forces of the North (who represented the United States or simply the Union). The American Civil War caught both sides unprepared. Both the Union and the Confederacy had to build their armies practically from scratch. Both sides sought a quick victory focused on the respective nearby capitals of Washington, D.C. and Richmond, Virginia, but neither side would surrender their national identity cheaply. Even after the First Battle of Bull Run, many were slow to accept that war would last much longer than a single campaign. However, it spilled across the continent, and even to the high seas. Much of the vast resources of America would be consumed before it would be resolved. The American Civil War is sometimes called the "first modern war" due to the use of mass conscription, military railroads, trench warfare, ironclads, aerial reconnaissance, modern cartridge firearms, machine guns, mortars, land mines and sea mines (both called 'torpedoes' during the war) as well as repeating carbines (for Union cavalry). It introduced the modern world to the horrors of total war. Sully's Old School for the Quenched
Old School Honor Roll: USApocalypse Gadzooks! What happened to the beautiful country we know as the US of A? The Dakotas, Virginias, and Carolinas apparently settled their differences (while Texas split apart), California broke off and is drifting into the Pacific, we lost Florida to Cuba, and since when were Quebec and the Baja Peninsula apart of the United States?!? Such is the genius imagination of Jota, the man behind USApocalypse. USApocalypse possesses multiple gameplay and aesthetic qualities, including the irradiated territories and the creative nomenclature. Breaking it down Old School: No funky objectives in this one, just conquer all and you shall be VICTORious. But, the way you scale the cliffs of the apocalypse, you must first refresh with a cold bottle of Strategade (not sold in stores anywhere). It all stems from your drops. Drop 0-1 irradiated territories, it may be better to go after one of the bonus areas, drop ≥2 irradiated territories, it is probably best to go after those, as you can gain a hefty bonus if you get enough. Going for bonus areas, the most feasible ones to get are Ye Olde Newland and Aquaria, though Voodoo Bayou, Silicon Overmind, and United States of Texas are certainly not impossible, if you have a decent amount of territories in one right off the bat. As for the radiation route, if you manage to collect at least 4, you actually get a bonus instead of a penalty. Collect 5 or 6 and dominate the board, though the irradiated territories are not easy to keep when others are going after the bonus areas they're in. As for Escalating, Terminator and Assassin games, these strategies don't apply nearly as much, as you should be more focused on elimination and/or gaining cards. And now a few words from some of CC's fine members: Koganosi: The map is really cool. Did a nuke tournament on it with a partner. Lots of fun Eddy_26: i like the radiation nexus idea, i think it opens up a lot of extra options and strategy ideas. I think it's a reasonably balanced map when it comes to larger games, however doubles and 1vs1 can often be landslide victories. mcshanester29: I like the fact that the radiation effects can be negative unless you get four of them. jeraado: Starting with a 2 troop deploy is a big difference, and it means that you have to choose whether to focus on nuke territories, lose the territory, or accept the penalty. This post-apocalyptic genius should not be left unnoticed - why not play a game or two on USApocalypse? -Mr. Sully
Cup finals are under way, the League is shaking out and our very own pirate muses on clan leaders.
State of Play by laughingcavalier (TSM)
Clan League Season 3 Action is hotting up. As we approach the season's half-way point patterns are beginning to emerge and we get an idea of waht might be some of the good battles to watch. For extra fun the clan directors are updating the scores frequently so spectators know just what is going on. Division A Normal service looks to be resumed with TOFU establishing themselves top of the table ahead of LoW. Division B Empire are convincing leaders - is it a squad achievement, the Dispatch asked: Lubawski (Empire) wrote:What I'm most proud of our guys for is the team mentality. No one is ever concerned about their own stats or how many games they are in. Everyone is rooting for the team at all times. This might turn out to be one of the most interesting divisions in the run in, with any one of four clans jostling for second place. Division C Immortal Assassins have the highest win percentage of any clan so far - we asked what lies behind their success: VampireM (IA) wrote:We are very proud of each member in our clan and we try our best to give everyone an even amount of games. We have also done very well recruiting players that are known for their single plays but are having great success playing in team games. With that being said IA is a game conscious clan, we focus on one clan event at a time. Whether that be the clan league, clan war or CCup we want to have all our focus on that one event so we are playing at our top of our game. IA is the death you never saw coming. lokisgal (IA) wrote:We walk softly and carry a big stick. Behind IA, it is Agents of Chaos who are so far having the best of the fight for second pulling ahead of worthy adversaries FOED and Nemesis. andy_is_awesome, Namor, Eyestone, Nicky15 (AoC) wrote:
We at AoC are very pleased with our fast start. We know that our division is a tough one. Nemesis and FOED are excellent clans who have proven their talent by their showings in wars this past year. The fact that we have done so well against them in the league is evidence that our current organization and preparation is working.
We are hoping to step up our game, and put in a good show against IA. If we can manage that and Nemesis perform well against them also, then who knows, we could just grab the top spot (well we ARE dreamers
). To do so would be a great accomplishment for us. We have worked hard this year and have expectations of being regarded as a top 10 clan... and a deep run into the playoffs will go a long way towards earning us that honour.
Division D TSM kicked off with strong victories in the first weeks, but are having a hard week against Grim Reapers, which has allowed KoRT, division no 1 seeds to take the lead. We asked the Monkis if they could regain the lead. skillfull (TSM) wrote:Well, we started very well in the first 2 weeks but it seems that we are losing ground in the next 2 weeks. In my opinion the fight vs KORT will show the winner of the division. Monkis are ready to finish first in the Division D. Conqueror's Cup vrs The finals! It’s gone on a while but they are here at last… Well, nearly here… The thread is up, games are due to start early December…. C.C. Finals THOTA vs. KoRT [0-0] -- Pregame Chatter No surprise that THOTA made it. The number one seeds have proved their worth through the Cup rounds, notably with the last gasp tie-break victory over Nemesis and a solid win over LoW, finishing at 33-27. Most of the pundits in the thread are predicting THOTA will win the finals by a comfortable margin. Knights of the Round Table are a turn-up for the books though: ranked number seven in the seedings, they surprised many by defeating Empire convincingly in the quarters and with the manner of their victory over number 2 seeds TOFU in the semis. KORT gave TOFU a fight for sure, leading out of the first set of games, tied after the second set – but what gave them the victory was a rare and unusual mistake by TOFU. When TOFU signed up their clan leader for 21 games, they exceeded the 20 game per player limit – and automatically forfeited all the games that player entered. Fierce controversy followed, TOFU asking KORT to reconsider the penalty, pointing out that KORT had been responsible for maintaining the games thread and had not maintained it properly. But the penalty was upheld, KORT voting in its favour and organiser Chuuuuck pointing out that everyone had signed up to the rule and that TOFU had been particularly keen that rules should be clearly established before the competition began. TOFU might claim they are the moral victors, winning more actual games played, but the official scoreline sees KORT take the challenge and proceed to the final. Some may have preferred to see TOFU in the final just to see how they would perform against the ponies, but as Incandenza says it’s time to leave behind the bitterness of recent weeks and concentrate on the future. THOTA find themselves in the unusual position of having a mass of clannies cheering for them, but can KORT be the clan who finally unseats them? All Friends Again, It's Only a Game by laughingcavalier
We wish to apologise for a few minor inaccuracies which slipped into the last issue.
Our article title Turkeys Vote Against Christmas Shock Horror was a misprint for All Friends Again, It’s Only a Game We mistakenly reported Father Christmas as saying “They decide, I’m just here to deliver the toys and eat the mince pies.” Father Christmas in fact said: “Rules are rules. It’s down in black and white, everyone signed up to them and I’m not changing them now. I take all this upon my own head. No U-turns, no blaming anyone else. I have nailed my verdict to the door. Here I stand, I can do no other.” When we suggested Farmer Giles was a little smelly after an accident with the muckspreader we in fact meant that he had bathed in 21 bottles of bubble bath and had come up smelling of roses. We accept the Press Council’s ruling that we should not have reported Comrade Turkey’s private not-for-publication comment: “We stitched them up good and proper with the old advent calendar routine. Do you think the suckers will let us count the gold rings too?” The Director in charge of Calendar Events did not hold his head in his hands and groan as he said “C’mon guys next time we organise Christmas dinner on a turkey farm let’s not go home hungry.” What we thought were the anguished screams of farmers being truncheoned by bullyboy police silencing their demonstration were in fact the sound of happy children celebrating at the Director’s own Diwali celebrations. The partridge family have not planned a New Year bombing campaign, all they said was “US! US! Over here! Stop looking at them!” While we attributed original sin to Eveglove, we understand it is still disputed as to whether it was in fact Young Eve who took the first bite of the apple. Nobody is to blame for any of the above mistakes, it just so happens that all the “K”s in our typesetting tray had been replaced with “C”s due to the total incompetence of the Dispatch’s Editor in Chief. All involved will be issued with their general achievement medals and three months free premium shortly. The Dispatch stands by its conclusion that Nick Heyward is epic and Haircut 100 are the big daddy of boybands. RUM RANTS: Is there such a thing as too much of a good thing? by bogangod (BotFM)
Greetings from the pirate news desk aka wherever I'm perched swaying to the roll of the ship gulping rum (sipping is for pussies).
I haven't spent that much time on CC in the past 5weeks or so. New job (yes even pirates have to work..... damn government taxes booty), new abode, new and sometimes not too reliable internet connection. Yes dear readers, stalkers, and fans, I will cut to the chase soon. I must maintain my reputation for semi incoherent rambling. I was thinking, and yes I have discussed thinking and myself in previous articles. Thinking - an activity that should not be attempted often, or for protracted periods of time, causes head aches similar to hangovers but without the seductive preludes.... Yes I am capable (or almost capable) of the learnt behaviour and skill which is thinking, though I choose not to think whenever possible. Simple life without using the brain box, equals life with less stress. Well that is my take on things anyway. So back to, or more rightly, now to the topic. Is there such a thing as too much of a good thing? Thinking of clans, and clan leadership. Are there situations where having a leader that is too strong, and too competent, is a bad thing? Have noticed that some clans are very strongly dependent on the presence of their primary clan leader/leadership group, and without the presence of said leader/leadership group, the clan appears to be rudderless. So wondering whether it is the fault of the clan leader. Does a strong clan leader stifle the strength of a clan in their absence? Have noticed that a few clans whilst only having one or two clan leaders have a leadership group with defined roles ie recruitment, clan wars, TLO etc. This seems to work well for them. The pirates don't really have a problem as all leaders are known to be drunk most of the time, the more sober members just pick up the pieces. So all you clan leaders out there, just please remember this little saying "once you tell someone to do something once, you will have to tell them to do it forever!" More communication, less management is my call. Fits in with my "work" ethos, I can slur my words when giving advice, not when giving orders. May your rum be kick arse. Uncle Bogan, over (legless) and out.
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