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These Are Not Intended to be Factual Statements

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Re: These Are Not Intended to be Factual Statements

Postby AndyDufresne on Mon Apr 25, 2011 10:59 am

jonesthecurl wrote:No, I'm Spartacus.
This is not intended to be a factual statement.

I liked this one.

====================

If you have not been following the unrest in the Southwest Asia and North Africa region over the last few months, specifically the goings on in Libya, this video from Back to the Future explains all you'll ever need to know.

This is not intended to be a factual statement.


--Andy
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Re: These Are Not Intended to be Factual Statements

Postby Quirk on Mon Apr 25, 2011 6:00 pm

Cult leader Jon Kyl insists that all non-elder members of his church refer to him as "The Incredible Captain Creamy."
No one knows why.

This is not intended to be a factual statement.
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Re: These Are Not Intended to be Factual Statements

Postby PLAYER57832 on Mon Apr 25, 2011 6:45 pm

I am thinking 100 % clearly and adroitly despite loads of medication and illness in my system.
This is not intended as a factual statement.
Last edited by PLAYER57832 on Mon Apr 25, 2011 6:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: These Are Not Intended to be Factual Statements

Postby PLAYER57832 on Mon Apr 25, 2011 6:46 pm

I refer to Dr Morris for all my scientific facts and am quite sure he will win the nobel prize some day.
This is not intended as a factual statement.
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Re: These Are Not Intended to be Factual Statements

Postby Quirk on Mon Apr 25, 2011 8:11 pm

Former child actor Jon Kyl devotes well over 90 percent of his waking hours to on-line gaming. In between turns he can often be found trolling the Conquer Club forum under the username "shieldgenerator7".

This is not intended to be a factual statement.
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Re: These Are Not Intended to be Factual Statements

Postby Quirk on Mon Apr 25, 2011 11:03 pm

Chinese dissident Jon Kyl becomes sexually aroused at the sight or mere mention of animal cruelty.

This is not intended to be a factual statement.
Last edited by Quirk on Thu May 12, 2011 5:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: These Are Not Intended to be Factual Statements

Postby blakebowling on Sun May 01, 2011 10:33 pm

We just killed Osama Bin Laden

This is not intended to be a factual statement
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Re: These Are Not Intended to be Factual Statements

Postby AndyDufresne on Mon May 02, 2011 3:56 pm

When attempting to come onto a woman, telling her you'll thrill her and 'lick all her sugar' is a sure-fire way to success.

This is not intended to be a factual statement.


--Andy
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Re: These Are Not Intended to be Factual Statements

Postby shieldgenerator7 on Thu May 05, 2011 3:49 pm

I went to bed early and slept in late.
This is not intended to be a factual statement.
Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to defeat all evil. -Ephesians 6 KJV

My Smiley: ( :) ) --- it's got SHIELDS!

everywhere116 wrote:You da man! Well, not really, because we're colorful ponies, but you get the idea.
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Re: These Are Not Intended to be Factual Statements

Postby kabuki.mono on Thu May 05, 2011 3:58 pm

AndyDufresne wrote:When attempting to come onto a woman, telling her you'll thrill her and 'lick all her sugar' is a sure-fire way to success.

This is not intended to be a factual statement.


--Andy

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

I quit drinking!

This is not intended to be a factual statement.
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Re: These Are Not Intended to be Factual Statements

Postby AndyDufresne on Tue May 10, 2011 11:54 am

When in an interview for a new job, and the interviewer asks "What do you like about this position?" ---the best reply is a prompt response of: "Sitting is terrific. It's easier on my knees."

This is not intended to be a factual statement.


--Andy
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Re: These Are Not Intended to be Factual Statements

Postby Quirk on Thu May 12, 2011 5:22 pm

Upon his death mythical creature Jon Kyl (Ł‚Ł‚Ł†ŁˆŲ³) will erupt into a giant fireball engulfing everything in well over a 90 yard radius. From the ashes a new, stronger Jon Kyl will emerge whose sole purpose is to mislead the American people.

This is not intended to be a factual statement.
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Re: These Are Not Intended to be Factual Statements

Postby Quirk on Sat May 14, 2011 11:07 pm

Jon Kyl's tears can cure wounds.

This is not intended to be a factual statement.
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Re: These Are Not Intended to be Factual Statements

Postby jonesthecurl on Sat May 14, 2011 11:46 pm

Jon Kyl is several figments of Quirk's imagination.

This is not intended to be a factual statement.
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Re: These Are Not Intended to be Factual Statements

Postby AndyDufresne on Sun May 15, 2011 11:39 am

Quirk's imagination is jonesthecurl's playground.

This is not intended to be a factual statement.


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Re: These Are Not Intended to be Factual Statements

Postby Quirk on Sun May 15, 2011 3:35 pm

Ku Klux Klan membership has seen a sharp decline since Grand Wizard Jon Kyl's failed attempt to rape the Pope.

This is not intended to be a factual statement.
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Re: These Are Not Intended to be Factual Statements

Postby Victor Sullivan on Wed May 18, 2011 7:34 pm

Jon Kyl has recently become the spokesperson for "Kid-Tested, Mother-Approved" Berry Berry Kix Cereal. It is yet unknown which part he will play.

This is not intended to be a factual statement.
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Re: These Are Not Intended to be Factual Statements

Postby Quirk on Fri May 20, 2011 1:41 pm

King Kong-like gangster-pirate-fireman high priest Vatican assassin warlock Jon Kyl suffers night terrors and PTSD from the loss of his baby blanket at age eight. He is quoted as saying "I'd gleefully destroy well over ninety percent of life on earth if it meant I could have my Ba-ba back."

This is not intended to be a factual statement.
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Re: These Are Not Intended to be Factual Statements

Postby jonesthecurl on Sat May 21, 2011 8:45 am

The rapture happens today.

This is not intended to be a factual statement.
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Re: These Are Not Intended to be Factual Statements

Postby rdsrds2120 on Wed Jun 01, 2011 4:04 pm

Jonesy is funny sometimes.

This is not intended to be a factual statement.

jk, Jones funny long long time

-rd
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Re: These Are Not Intended to be Factual Statements

Postby jonesthecurl on Sat Jun 11, 2011 9:52 am

Sorry, can't hear you. I was taken up in the rapture. there was just me.


This is not intended to be a factual statement.
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Re: These Are Not Intended to be Factual Statements

Postby Quirk on Wed Jun 15, 2011 9:03 pm

Well over ninety percent of motivational speaker and life coach Jon Kyl's speeches include the nonstandard word "irregardless".

This is not intended to be a factual statement.
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Re: These Are Not Intended to be Factual Statements

Postby Quirk on Mon Jul 04, 2011 6:17 pm

Miami Dolphins' defensive coordinator Jon Kyl rarely finishes the drill and he underestimates the heart of a champion well over ninety percent of the time. He spells team with a silent i.

This is not intended to be a factual statement.
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pancakemix wrote:Quirk, you are a bastard. That is all.
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Re: These Are Not Intended to be Factual Statements

Postby Quirk on Wed Aug 10, 2011 7:54 pm

Roller derby queen Jon Kyl and Radiohead's Thom Yorke are identical twins. Not a lot of people know this.

This is not intended to be a factual statement.
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Re: These Are Not Intended to be Factual Statements

Postby Victor Sullivan on Wed Aug 10, 2011 8:02 pm

Quirk wrote:Roller derby queen Jon Kyl and Radiohead's Thom Yorke are identical twins. Not a lot of people know this.

This is not intended to be a factual statement.

A lot of people know this.

This is also not intended to be a factual statement.

-Sully
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