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Best Defense Against the Roving Child Punching Gangs

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How Can We Defend Against the Roving Child Punching Gangs?

New law requiring all children to wear full face motorcycle helmets at all times
1
14%
Give everyone a gun
3
43%
Increased Federal spending to deal with this problem
1
14%
Promote Islam to give a moral example of how to be peaceful and gentle with children instead of punching them all the time
2
29%
 
Total votes : 7

Best Defense Against the Roving Child Punching Gangs

Postby pimpdave on Thu May 03, 2012 1:00 pm

As we all know, there is a new threat to American society: Roving Child Punching Gangs. They are being formed in compliance with a Holy Decree issued by a Christian Church Leader.

I'm starting a poll with some options for how best to defend ourselves against these Roving Child Punching Gangs but please feel free to throw out ideas of your own. This should also be an open brainstorming session.
Last edited by pimpdave on Thu May 03, 2012 4:16 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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Re: Best Defense Against the Roving Child Punching Gangs

Postby Neoteny on Thu May 03, 2012 1:03 pm

Give everyone two guns!
Napoleon Ier wrote:You people need to grow up to be honest.
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Re: Best Defense Against the Roving Child Punching Gangs

Postby Neoteny on Thu May 03, 2012 1:04 pm

Three guns!

Ah ah ah...
Napoleon Ier wrote:You people need to grow up to be honest.
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Re: Best Defense Against the Roving Child Punching Gangs

Postby saxitoxin on Thu May 03, 2012 1:05 pm

pimpdave wrote:As we all know, there is a new threat to American society: Roving Child Punching Gangs. They are being formed in compliance with a Holy Decree issued by a Christian Church Leader.

I'm starting a poll with some options for how best to defend ourselves against these Roving Child Punching Gangs but please feel free to throw out ideas of your own. This should also be an open brainstorming session.


I've encountered roving child punching gangs, but they disperse pretty quick. I just invite them down into my basement to "show them something." From earliest childhood, kids in Santa Barbara are taught that, if Saxi invites you into his house, you are supposed to:

    1. Yell "NO!"
    2. Run Away
    3. Tell a Responsible Adult
So I've never had much of a prob with them.
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Re: Best Defense Against the Roving Child Punching Gangs

Postby BigBallinStalin on Thu May 03, 2012 1:06 pm

Roving Child Punching Gangs are apparently terrorizing children into accepting a certain way of life. Clearly, this is terrorism; therefore, the FBI and CIA must devote massive resources to combating these domestic terrorist cells of baby punchers.
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Re: Best Defense Against the Roving Child Punching Gangs

Postby pimpdave on Thu May 03, 2012 1:59 pm

Guys, who voted to ban Christianity? I disagree with that. I think that would violate the First Amendment.
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When, on his shoes,everyone wanks.
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Re: Best Defense Against the Roving Child Punching Gangs

Postby Juan_Bottom on Thu May 03, 2012 2:11 pm

BAN THE FIRST AMENDMENT!
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Re: Best Defense Against the Roving Child Punching Gangs

Postby pimpdave on Thu May 03, 2012 2:22 pm

BigBallinStalin wrote:Roving Child Punching Gangs are apparently terrorizing children into accepting a certain way of life. Clearly, this is terrorism; therefore, the FBI and CIA must devote massive resources to combating these domestic terrorist cells of baby punchers.


That's interesting. Certainly the Department of Homeland Security should be made aware of this growing threat to our beloved Republic, but I'm not sure increased Federal spending is the best idea. However, I'll add your suggestion to the poll.
jonesthecurl wrote:A young fellow called Sam earned my thanks -
Explained "emo" for my mem'ry banks.
His hair's over one eye
So you can't see him cry
When, on his shoes,everyone wanks.
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Re: Best Defense Against the Roving Child Punching Gangs

Postby pimpdave on Thu May 03, 2012 2:25 pm

Hey guys, I edited the poll to reflect BBS' idea and added another one that was PMed to me by someone who wants to remain anonymous, due to the bigotry against Muslims on this website.
jonesthecurl wrote:A young fellow called Sam earned my thanks -
Explained "emo" for my mem'ry banks.
His hair's over one eye
So you can't see him cry
When, on his shoes,everyone wanks.
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Re: Best Defense Against the Roving Child Punching Gangs

Postby BigBallinStalin on Thu May 03, 2012 2:31 pm

Excellent. It is only a matter of time until these baby-punchers are brought to justice.
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Re: Best Defense Against the Roving Child Punching Gangs

Postby Timminz on Thu May 03, 2012 2:33 pm

How am I the first person to vote?
jay_a2j wrote:lets not be so quick to judge Hitler
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Re: Best Defense Against the Roving Child Punching Gangs

Postby pimpdave on Thu May 03, 2012 2:35 pm

Timminz wrote:How am I the first person to vote?


When I added new options to the poll, it unfortunately reset the initial votes.
jonesthecurl wrote:A young fellow called Sam earned my thanks -
Explained "emo" for my mem'ry banks.
His hair's over one eye
So you can't see him cry
When, on his shoes,everyone wanks.
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Re: Best Defense Against the Roving Child Punching Gangs

Postby BGtheBrain on Thu May 03, 2012 2:37 pm

Can you add "Stop them, where do I sign up for one of these gangs?" as a choice?

If not, I can always vote for the guns
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Re: Best Defense Against the Roving Child Punching Gangs

Postby Phatscotty on Thu May 03, 2012 2:40 pm

Timminz wrote:How am I the first person to vote?


Cuz it's a buster poll.

Congrats!
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Re: Best Defense Against the Roving Child Punching Gangs

Postby Frigidus on Thu May 03, 2012 2:44 pm

I think we've established that any potential crime can be prevented by having a gun.
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