Insult Swordfighting

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Insult Swordfighting

Postby / on Sun Aug 12, 2012 6:29 pm

Inspired by Lucas Art's Monkey Island series, examples in OP are from the first game.

How to play
Each poster should start with a witty comeback to the insult above, then follow up with an insult to the next poster.

Poster 1
*comeback to last insult*
*insult* You fight like a dairy farmer.

Poster 2
*comeback* How appropriate. You fight like a cow.
*insult* Soon you'll be wearing my sword like a shish kebab!


and so on

- forum rules apply, don't make it vulgar, personal, bigoted, etc.

- insults should be directed at a generic second or first person "you" "me" "my"

- "insults" can also be brags about oneself: "People fall at my feet when they see me coming." comeback: "Even BEFORE they smell your breath?"

- rhyming is optional

show




To start us off
Your eyes are crossed more often than a duelist's swords!
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Re: Insult Swordfighting

Postby Haggis_McMutton on Sun Aug 12, 2012 9:00 pm

Look behind you ... a three headed monkey!

sorry, couldn't help myself. I'll show myself out.
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Re: Insult Swordfighting

Postby Victor Sullivan on Sun Aug 12, 2012 9:07 pm

/ wrote:To start us off
Your eyes are crossed more often than a duelist's swords!

And yet I can see your girlfriend's been sleeping around with every scurvy-ridden scalawag on your crew!

You're a worse swordsman than a walrus with its tusks sawed off!

-Sully
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Re: Insult Swordfighting

Postby jonesthecurl on Mon Aug 13, 2012 12:09 am

Don't talk about your mother like that!

That's more like a sponge than a lunge!
And remember what the poet said – “in booty there is loot, and in loot booty.” Or sump’n like that.
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Re: Insult Swordfighting

Postby / on Mon Aug 13, 2012 4:47 pm

Sorry my sword soaks up your blood with every plunge.

Tell me if you want me to fight you blindfolded.
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Re: Insult Swordfighting

Postby kentington on Mon Aug 13, 2012 5:17 pm

Not necessary. You already fight like you can't see.

Stop walking into my sword; you are getting blood all over the place.
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Re: Insult Swordfighting

Postby x-raider on Tue Aug 14, 2012 2:42 pm

You would do well to stop pointing it at your face.

You sir, parry like a parrot!
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Re: Insult Swordfighting

Postby / on Thu Aug 16, 2012 6:47 pm

A parrot is all that's needed to crack a nut like you.

New rivers form with the power of my swings.
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Re: Insult Swordfighting

Postby jonesthecurl on Sun Sep 09, 2012 2:29 pm

You swing both ways, sirrah.
Methinks you sheath your sword in the brown scabbard most often.
And remember what the poet said – “in booty there is loot, and in loot booty.” Or sump’n like that.
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Re: Insult Swordfighting

Postby fadedpsychosis on Sun Sep 09, 2012 2:42 pm

It's not my fault you wore a brown shirt.

Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!



sorry but I couldn't help the MP refference
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Re: Insult Swordfighting

Postby rdsrds2120 on Mon Sep 10, 2012 4:05 am

fadedpsychosis wrote:It's not my fault you wore a brown shirt.

Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!



sorry but I couldn't help the MP refference


Your berries are dry and unsavory -- like the mistletoe above Roseanne Barr.

BMO
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Re: Insult Swordfighting

Postby fadedpsychosis on Mon Sep 10, 2012 4:18 am

rdsrds2120 wrote:
fadedpsychosis wrote:It's not my fault you wore a brown shirt.

Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!



sorry but I couldn't help the MP refference


Your berries are dry and unsavory -- like the mistletoe above Roseanne Barr.

BMO

gah! need brain bleach!!!
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Re: Insult Swordfighting

Postby Funkyterrance on Mon Jan 07, 2013 12:43 pm

It's not in the savor of the flavor, it's in the parry of the berry.

Now have at thee, pants of pee!
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Re: Insult Swordfighting

Postby / on Fri Jan 11, 2013 4:18 pm

They're hard to keep dry; being splashed as you flee.

I would have you dig your own grave, but your arms are too weak.
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Re: Insult Swordfighting

Postby rishaed on Mon Feb 18, 2013 2:37 am

Not my arms but yours that I cut off I see.

And now your lazy bum is sleeping at sea!
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