These Are Not Intended to be Factual Statements

[Quirk]

Disgraced tiddlywinkist Jon Kyl received a lifetime ban from recess early Friday and was stripped of his record seven Tiddlywink titles after deciding to abandon his long fight against charges he led a sophisticated doping conspiracy throughout his career.

This is not intended to be a factual statement.

[Gillipig]

Your self image is dependant on the people around you, so in order to excert total control of your own personality, you need to do away with them.

This is intended to be a factual statement, just one you shouldn't adhere to.

[oVo]

Mittens Rmoney will not fail, because money talks.

This is intended to be a factual statement, just one you shouldn't adhere to.