Who do you trust most? PART #3 - SURGERY

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Who do you trust to perform surgery on you?

PLAYER57832
2
7%
rdsrds2120
3
10%
patches70
1
3%
chang50
1
3%
john9blue
0
No votes
2dimes
0
No votes
Natty Dread
0
No votes
Army of God
3
10%
Army of Nobunaga
2
7%
MeDeFe
5
17%
ManBungalow
4
14%
whitestazn88
0
No votes
Symmetry
2
7%
GreecePWNS
1
3%
Baron Von PWN
0
No votes
Woodruff
3
10%
BigBallinStalin
0
No votes
Lootifer
0
No votes
PhatScotty
2
7%
 
Total votes : 29

Who do you trust most? PART #3 - SURGERY

Postby saxitoxin on Sat Oct 06, 2012 3:16 am

You have decided to have a minor, elective surgery of some type. However, there is a queue at hospital and you're leaving in a month for a holiday on Grenada. You have a $100 gift card to Powell Books and purchased a copy of the Surgeon's Desk Reference. Choose one primary and two back-up surgeons.
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Re: Who do you trust most? PART #3 - SURGERY

Postby Phatscotty on Sat Oct 06, 2012 3:21 am

Patch Adams, but only because of the movie
"I want you to remember that, to remind you to stay out of my way. In all the years to come, in all your most private moments, I want you to remember my hand at your throat. I want you to remember the one man who beat you."
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Re: Who do you trust most? PART #3 - SURGERY

Postby Funkyterrance on Sat Oct 06, 2012 2:25 pm

There is no way anyone from this site is getting near me with a scalpel. We are all misfits here, none of which should be trusted past the position of "goldfish sitter" and even that could have disastrous results.
I would probably opt to buy myself a quality mirror and go the route of Robert DeNero in that Ronin movie. At least I would only have myself to blame.
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Re: Who do you trust most? PART #3 - SURGERY

Postby ManBungalow on Sat Oct 06, 2012 3:30 pm

Lifted from this thread;
viewtopic.php?f=8&t=151111#p3301949

ManBungalow wrote:Hello and welcome to ManBungalow's Legal Budget Confidential Medical Centre
    (MLBCMC)

The story of MLBCMC starts in 1949, back when I began my medical career at a small research centre in what was formerly known as Yugoslavia. It was in this year when I first discovered what you may know today as penicillin. I later went on to accidentally synthesise the drug from a solution of koala faeces and human urine.

Of course, it was destined to become a hit with all the qualified professionals in years to come. However, my ignorant supervisor didn't understand that the drug had to be tested in huge quantities on thousands of endangered elephants; and after the lab was discovered and my precious jars of urine smashed by protestors in late 1950, my supervisor told me that I was an abomination of the human race and that if he ever saw me again I would wake up the next day with only one thorax.

During the ten years that followed, I tried with little success to transplant the digestive system of various ungulates into humans, so that I could one day fulfill my dream of extracting the energy stored in grass and cud.
In order to continue financing my investigations and support my chronic addiction to buying IBM stock, I was forced to marry a rich, beautiful princess from Monaco. She only came to see me once because she tragically fell out of the twenty-ninth-storey window at my apartment, and the police said she was under the influence of a strange toxin they've never encountered before so that was probably why.

By 1963 I had given up all hope of ever building RoboCop, but I had a surprise visit from an old friend who had emigrated to the USA only three years before. His name was Victor_Sullivan, and he soon told me that he had glued a large sponge to his spine while bathing and was too embarrassed about the matter to see a trained medical practitioner. It was after I removed his lungs that I realised where my heart truly lay, and thusly the MLBCMC was born.

So here we are in 2011, and I have several dozen people stumble into the successful and fully-certified MLBCMC every week!
Who would've thunk it?

Come one, come all. Post your curious ailments and queries (just don't ask any specific questions), and expect quality advice from an experienced consultant.


HOW TO FIND THE MLBCMC :

Go past the vending machine and into the alley. You can't miss it.

Click image to enlarge.
image


REVIEWS OF THE MLBCMC FROM SURVIVING CUSTOMERS :

Army of GOD wrote:Thanks to the MLBCMC, I now have a third ovary. Cheers ManBungalow!


Woodruff wrote:My new and improved eyebrows allow me to quash the opinions of anyone who is wrong!


JoshyBoy wrote:I had breast-reduction surgery at MLBCMC, and my girlfriend simply loves the new look!



We look forward to hearing from you soon.


tl;dr: vote ManBungalow 2012
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Re: Who do you trust most? PART #3 - SURGERY

Postby nietzsche on Sat Oct 06, 2012 5:03 pm

AoN for the primary surgeon position as he knows how to handle a knife, rds and AoG for the nurse positions because they know how to wear a dress.
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Re: Who do you trust most? PART #3 - SURGERY

Postby DoomYoshi on Sat Oct 06, 2012 5:09 pm

I'm not on the list :(
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Re: Who do you trust most? PART #3 - SURGERY

Postby Funkyterrance on Sat Oct 06, 2012 6:27 pm

DoomYoshi wrote:I'm not on the list :(


Are you a surgeon in rl? If not, join the club!
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Re: Who do you trust most? PART #3 - SURGERY

Postby thegreekdog on Sat Oct 06, 2012 7:42 pm

I went for the most calm, cool, collected people: rds, MeDeFe, and greecepwns.
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Re: Who do you trust most? PART #3 - SURGERY

Postby Woodruff on Sat Oct 06, 2012 9:28 pm

nietzsche wrote:AoN for the primary surgeon position as he knows how to handle a knife


I was thinking this same thing. I figure if nothing else, cutting things might be right down his alley.

Then again, he may go all "survival of the fittest" on you.
...I prefer a man who will burn the flag and then wrap himself in the Constitution to a man who will burn the Constitution and then wrap himself in the flag.
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Postby 2dimes on Sat Oct 06, 2012 10:50 pm

First, I'm looking for some explanation regarding relivant experience here. Second who's running anesthesiology here? You can't just vodka up before surgery, you'll bleed to death morans. Is this something I can reach myself like an appendix?
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Re: Who do you trust most? PART #3 - SURGERY

Postby BigBallinStalin on Sun Oct 07, 2012 12:00 pm

I voted for ManB thrice.
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Re: Who do you trust most? PART #3 - SURGERY

Postby john9blue on Sun Oct 07, 2012 12:04 pm

i'm not squeamish and i have very good hand-eye coordination

but the hippocratic oath can suck my dick
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Re: Who do you trust most? PART #3 - SURGERY

Postby Symmetry on Sun Oct 07, 2012 12:06 pm

john9blue wrote:i'm not squeamish and i have very good hand-eye coordination

but the hippocratic oath can suck my dick


Well, it won't do you any harm if it does.
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Re: Who do you trust most? PART #3 - SURGERY

Postby Funkyterrance on Sun Oct 07, 2012 12:57 pm

I think I would pick, if forced to, someone who had some value for human life opposed to someone who was good at gory video games.
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Re: Who do you trust most? PART #3 - SURGERY

Postby john9blue on Sun Oct 07, 2012 2:27 pm

Funkyterrance wrote:I think I would pick, if forced to, someone who had some value for human life opposed to someone who was good at gory video games.


this is ironic because i never play gory video games and i'm one of the only pro-lifers on the forum

don't draw conclusions about me, because what you think you know about me is probably wrong. i don't fit molds.
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Re: Who do you trust most? PART #3 - SURGERY

Postby Funkyterrance on Sun Oct 07, 2012 3:19 pm

john9blue wrote:
Funkyterrance wrote:I think I would pick, if forced to, someone who had some value for human life opposed to someone who was good at gory video games.


this is ironic because i never play gory video games and i'm one of the only pro-lifers on the forum

don't draw conclusions about me, because what you think you know about me is probably wrong. i don't fit molds.


Nah, and I actually considered these facts when I wrote and knew it could be taken the wrong way but thought maybe the ridiculousness of my post would hint at its joking nature... Tbh it wasn't really directed at you. You have to admit a gory video gamer would fit the bill according to your qualifications. ;)
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Re: Who do you trust most? PART #3 - SURGERY

Postby john9blue on Sun Oct 07, 2012 3:34 pm

Funkyterrance wrote:
john9blue wrote:
Funkyterrance wrote:I think I would pick, if forced to, someone who had some value for human life opposed to someone who was good at gory video games.


this is ironic because i never play gory video games and i'm one of the only pro-lifers on the forum

don't draw conclusions about me, because what you think you know about me is probably wrong. i don't fit molds.


Nah, and I actually considered these facts when I wrote and knew it could be taken the wrong way but thought maybe the ridiculousness of my post would hint at its joking nature... Tbh it wasn't really directed at you. You have to admit a gory video gamer would fit the bill according to your qualifications. ;)


i've been here long enough to not dismiss ANY post as too ridiculous to be geniune.
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Re: Who do you trust most? PART #3 - SURGERY

Postby Woodruff on Sun Oct 07, 2012 8:04 pm

john9blue wrote:
Funkyterrance wrote:I think I would pick, if forced to, someone who had some value for human life opposed to someone who was good at gory video games.


this is ironic because i never play gory video games and i'm one of the only pro-lifers on the forum


There are a lot of us that are pro-life, actually...we're just not in favor of the government mandating it.
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Re: Who do you trust most? PART #3 - SURGERY

Postby GabonX on Sun Oct 07, 2012 11:26 pm

Woodruff wrote:
john9blue wrote:
Funkyterrance wrote:I think I would pick, if forced to, someone who had some value for human life opposed to someone who was good at gory video games.


this is ironic because i never play gory video games and i'm one of the only pro-lifers on the forum


There are a lot of us that are pro-life, actually...we're just not in favor of the government mandating it.

lol

"I'm pro gay marraige, I'm just not in favor of the government mandating it."

"I'm against murder. I'm just not in favor of the government banning it."
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Re: Who do you trust most? PART #3 - SURGERY

Postby Woodruff on Mon Oct 08, 2012 11:51 am

GabonX wrote:
Woodruff wrote:
john9blue wrote:
Funkyterrance wrote:I think I would pick, if forced to, someone who had some value for human life opposed to someone who was good at gory video games.


this is ironic because i never play gory video games and i'm one of the only pro-lifers on the forum


There are a lot of us that are pro-life, actually...we're just not in favor of the government mandating it.

lol

"I'm pro gay marraige, I'm just not in favor of the government mandating it."


Funny you should word it that way...it really gives away your bias.

GabonX wrote:"I'm against murder. I'm just not in favor of the government banning it."


So you don't believe it's possible to hold a personal belief about something but recognize that it's not anyone else's business?
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