Insult Swordfighting

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Insult Swordfighting

Postby / on Sun Aug 12, 2012 6:29 pm

Inspired by Lucas Art's Monkey Island series, examples in OP are from the first game.

How to play
Each poster should start with a witty comeback to the insult above, then follow up with an insult to the next poster.

Poster 1
*comeback to last insult*
*insult* You fight like a dairy farmer.

Poster 2
*comeback* How appropriate. You fight like a cow.
*insult* Soon you'll be wearing my sword like a shish kebab!


and so on

- forum rules apply, don't make it vulgar, personal, bigoted, etc.

- insults should be directed at a generic second or first person "you" "me" "my"

- "insults" can also be brags about oneself: "People fall at my feet when they see me coming." comeback: "Even BEFORE they smell your breath?"

- rhyming is optional

show




To start us off
Your eyes are crossed more often than a duelist's swords!
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Re: Insult Swordfighting

Postby Haggis_McMutton on Sun Aug 12, 2012 9:00 pm

Look behind you ... a three headed monkey!

sorry, couldn't help myself. I'll show myself out.
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Re: Insult Swordfighting

Postby Victor Sullivan on Sun Aug 12, 2012 9:07 pm

/ wrote:To start us off
Your eyes are crossed more often than a duelist's swords!

And yet I can see your girlfriend's been sleeping around with every scurvy-ridden scalawag on your crew!

You're a worse swordsman than a walrus with its tusks sawed off!

-Sully
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Re: Insult Swordfighting

Postby jonesthecurl on Mon Aug 13, 2012 12:09 am

Don't talk about your mother like that!

That's more like a sponge than a lunge!
And remember what the poet said – “in booty there is loot, and in loot booty.” Or sump’n like that.
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Re: Insult Swordfighting

Postby / on Mon Aug 13, 2012 4:47 pm

Sorry my sword soaks up your blood with every plunge.

Tell me if you want me to fight you blindfolded.
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Re: Insult Swordfighting

Postby kentington on Mon Aug 13, 2012 5:17 pm

Not necessary. You already fight like you can't see.

Stop walking into my sword; you are getting blood all over the place.
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Re: Insult Swordfighting

Postby x-raider on Tue Aug 14, 2012 2:42 pm

You would do well to stop pointing it at your face.

You sir, parry like a parrot!
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Re: Insult Swordfighting

Postby / on Thu Aug 16, 2012 6:47 pm

A parrot is all that's needed to crack a nut like you.

New rivers form with the power of my swings.
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Re: Insult Swordfighting

Postby jonesthecurl on Sun Sep 09, 2012 2:29 pm

You swing both ways, sirrah.
Methinks you sheath your sword in the brown scabbard most often.
And remember what the poet said – “in booty there is loot, and in loot booty.” Or sump’n like that.
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Re: Insult Swordfighting

Postby fadedpsychosis on Sun Sep 09, 2012 2:42 pm

It's not my fault you wore a brown shirt.

Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!



sorry but I couldn't help the MP refference
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Re: Insult Swordfighting

Postby rdsrds2120 on Mon Sep 10, 2012 4:05 am

fadedpsychosis wrote:It's not my fault you wore a brown shirt.

Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!



sorry but I couldn't help the MP refference


Your berries are dry and unsavory -- like the mistletoe above Roseanne Barr.

BMO
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Re: Insult Swordfighting

Postby fadedpsychosis on Mon Sep 10, 2012 4:18 am

rdsrds2120 wrote:
fadedpsychosis wrote:It's not my fault you wore a brown shirt.

Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!



sorry but I couldn't help the MP refference


Your berries are dry and unsavory -- like the mistletoe above Roseanne Barr.

BMO

gah! need brain bleach!!!
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Re: Insult Swordfighting

Postby Funkyterrance on Mon Jan 07, 2013 12:43 pm

It's not in the savor of the flavor, it's in the parry of the berry.

Now have at thee, pants of pee!
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Re: Insult Swordfighting

Postby / on Fri Jan 11, 2013 4:18 pm

They're hard to keep dry; being splashed as you flee.

I would have you dig your own grave, but your arms are too weak.
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Re: Insult Swordfighting

Postby rishaed on Mon Feb 18, 2013 2:37 am

Not my arms but yours that I cut off I see.

And now your lazy bum is sleeping at sea!
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Re: Insult Swordfighting

Postby BigBallinStalin on Mon Feb 18, 2013 11:55 pm

Aye, I needed a long rest after rubbing me barnacles all over your mum.

<guffaws at your sloppy swordplay> I remember when I had my first rum.
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Re: Insult Swordfighting

Postby kentington on Tue Feb 19, 2013 12:01 am

Arrggh! I prefer my sloppy swordplay to your floppy foreplay.

Take my word, you'll only hurt yourself with that sword.
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Re: Insult Swordfighting

Postby rishaed on Tue Feb 19, 2013 1:22 am

Too much rum, eh mate? Tis no sword, but me pistol.

Now remove your foul stench from these decks scallywag.
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Re: Insult Swordfighting

Postby Serbia on Sat Mar 16, 2013 5:44 pm

I was expecting homo-erotic pictures involving Daniel Tosh. I'm disappointed.
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Re: Insult Swordfighting

Postby Anarkistsdream on Wed Dec 18, 2013 9:32 pm

rishaed wrote:Too much rum, eh mate? Tis no sword, but me pistol.

Now remove your foul stench from these decks scallywag.

Stench? You mean wench, and you shouldn't speak of your mother so....

Now make sure you wipe your chin when I am done.
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Re: Insult Swordfighting

Postby shieldgenerator7 on Wed Feb 12, 2014 11:10 am

I always do after eating losers like you for breakfast

Your sword is duller than a mailbox post
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Re: Insult Swordfighting

Postby Gillipig on Fri Feb 14, 2014 6:27 am

If I am a loser, what does that make of you who so sheepishly lost to me?

I'll make you lose to me again, and again and again!
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Re: Insult Swordfighting

Postby rishaed on Sun Feb 16, 2014 1:33 am

Maybe in Shoe size, but I'm no clown.

My opponents shall fall before my greatness!
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Re: Insult Swordfighting

Postby jonesthecurl on Mon Mar 03, 2014 11:16 pm

Aye. they'll fall laughing at your great gut!
Now haul yerself off and die of the pox before I puncture your bloated belly!
And remember what the poet said – “in booty there is loot, and in loot booty.” Or sump’n like that.
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