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CC Dispatch [Issue 68: 01-04-12] Won't Get Fooled Again

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CC Dispatch [Issue 68: 01-04-12] Won't Get Fooled Again

Postby Victor Sullivan on Sun Apr 01, 2012 10:20 pm


Welcome Comrades to the 68th edition of the Dispatch :)


User and apparent anarchist, @n0nym0us, made an announcement today that the site administrators, lackattack, king achilles, and AndyDufresne have been stripped of their admin powers and given to the members of the Conquer Club community as an act to promote "FR33D0M" and squash corruption. Hundreds of bans, premium-giving, and dice adjustments later, Conquer Club is left with one hell of an April Fool's joke!

Ah, yes, good times. I rather enjoyed giving the Swedish Chef a New Recruit ban for those April Fool's Days of pseudo-Swedish jibber-jabber. Why a New Recruit ban? How do you think Swedish Chef gets his food to taste so fresh? ;) Bork! Bork! Bork!

lackattack never fails to give us a good scare on April 1st! Speaking of the Webmaster, I'm looking forward to a little something I'm cooking up that should be coming within the next issue or two... Stay tuned! ;)

Oh, I thought I'd mention - you guys are more than welcome to post topics in the Newsletter forum! Want to talk about an article idea you've been thinking about? Want to discuss your favorite (or least favorite) things about the CC Dispatch? Want to make some suggestions to help improve our Newsletter? Feel free! :)

In addition, for those of you that haven't found out already, the CC Dispatch is on Twitter and Facebook! Follow us @CCDispatch on Twitter or 'like' our fan page at! The executives and I will try to entertain and inform you, as well as get your opinions on things! One of these days I'll figure out what the issue is with linking our Twitter account to our Facebook fan page, haha. This past fortnight, I asked what you guys look for in a Doubles partner. Here are a couple of replies!
@Boxtrocity wrote:@CCDispatch I look for someone that I can work with to make a plan in chat. If you don't communicate and work together, you lose.
@Ltg1969 wrote:@CCDispatch Cooperation and communication.

Valid points, indeed! What do you guys think? Let us know by replying to this thread! (For those of you Subscribers, just click the header at the top to go to the thread!)

Speaking of Subscribers, it's that time again! Our Subscriber of the Issue is, unbelievably, our very own Community Manager, AndyDufresne! Just send me a PM describing your favorite April Fool's joke that's ever been done on Conquer Club and a General Achievement Medal is yours! :D

Last, but certainly not least, I'd like to welcome a new member of the Newsletter Executive team, former Strategy Reporter (now Strategy Executive), Viceroy63! He's been doing amazing things for my baby of a section ( O:) ), so I am excited to see him do great things for us in the future! I hope you all have been enjoying the young "Office of Strategic Services" and will continue to as we see it develop more under Viceroy's leadership!

I think I've rambled on a bit, so I'll just leave you to explore what we have to offer this issue!

Enjoy the fruits of our laboring fingers!

Victor Sullivan
Chief Executive



If you would like to apply to join the news team, please visit the thread below for more details! :)

Click here for Recruitment Details...


Happy April Fools day everyone! We have further Civil War correspondences from DoomYoshi, shieldgenerator7 brings us another chapter in his story, and amazzony talks about tournaments, her clan, and baseless rumors.

Freestyle Executive

The Scum Insider by safariguy5

Epic CC Story Chapter 2 by shieldgenerator7

Historical Perspectives by DoomYoshi


show: Interrogation of amazzony


The Strategy Section of issue 68 of this Newsletter, promises to be an exciting one for sure. And this is no "April Fools" joke on you; I assure you.

We begin with our guest writer and his strategical insights as to when to be Passive and await your opportunity to attack and when to take charge of the game right from the start. "Proactive or Reactive" is a must read from the writers own experiences. And as he is French, we also provide this article in the French language version for the "Madam's e Monsuier'es" in our ranks.

Secondly I continue my three part series on the Bonus Monkey In Which I explain about the many services that the BM's provides for the rest of the players in the game, making it easier to win. Be sure to read, "The Bonus Monkey is Your Friend, Leave Him for Last. Part 02."

And introducing exclusively for the Newsletter, "The Debriefing of Dhallmeyers Game 10727863." In this first of a series of four articles we explore the many strategies and tragedies of this game as we take you round by breath taking round through this tournament game. Assessed by Dhallmeyer himself, This promises to be a most interesting read.

So with no further ado, just sit back and enjoy the Strategy Section of Issue 68 of your Newsletter.

Strategy Executive

Proactive or Reactive? By QuikSilver

French Version

The Bonus Monkey is your friend, leave him for last. Part 02 By Viceroy63

Debriefing of Dhallmeyer Game 10727863 By Viceroy63 and Assessed by Dhallmeyer


Hello again my friends, and welcome to your favorite part of the Newsletter, "War Games", where you can find information about CC Tournaments! In this issue, James interviews Butters1919, while DaveH and NoSurvivors continue their long-running series.

I promised kuma32478 and rjhankey that I would mention their big new TPA2 tournament, but NoSurvivors has done a great job of covering it in Join This? Or Not! so I'll leave you with that...:)

Tournament Executive

Meet the Tournament Organisers: Butters1919 by WorldCup4James

Tournament Tips: by DaveH
show: 4-player games - playing 15 opponents once

Join this? Or not! by NoSurvivors


Where did that fortnight go? Hmmm? Oh well, never mind. Lot's of action in the foundry and Koontz1973 gives us a wrap up in his Foundry News. Koontz brings us a very full breakdown of where all the maps are at in his What's Where. Can you believe it - ten maps in Beta!! I do a spotlight on the new King's Court 2 map - which excites me! Nothing from Flapcake or Disco Bandit this time, but hopefully we'll see something from them next issue!

This, from Nicholas Charles Trublet:
To select well among old things, is almost equal to inventing new ones.

Foundry Executive

Foundry News by koontz1973

What's where in the foundry by koontz1973

Map Spotlight: King’s Court 2 by thehippo8


4 months into the year and we finally have a champion for the 2nd edition of the Conquerors Cup! Read on as QuikSilver deciphers each of the finalists route to fight for the pedestal.
In the Newcomers Cup, skill presents the latest and greatest as action heats up in semi-final action.
And we're proud to present another F400 ranking as Gunn presents the movers and shakers in competitive clan play, just in time for seedings in Conquer Cup 3 to be determined

Elsewhere, Phase 2 of Clan League action is soon to commence, while the Divisional Cups, trophies and shields are due to start within the month!

Clan Executive

CC2 Final by QuikSilver

French Version:

NC2 Semi Finals by Skillfusniper33

Latest F400 Ranking by Gunn217 (PR)


Stay Tuned for the next issue of the ConquerClub Dispatch for an interrogation of Gen.LeeGettinhed. Post any questions you may have for them here --> Interrogation with Gen.LeeGettinhed

Submitting Your Own Articles

If you have a story you think the ConquerClub Community would find interesting, you can submit your articles to Victor Sullivan and you may just see your article published in the Newsletter!


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ConquerClub Dispatch Team

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Corporal Victor Sullivan
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