Conquer Club

The Spankademy

Is a training and testing ground for the Mother Clan ; The Spanking Monkeys
If you are an established player waiting to decide whether to join or convince members that you should be a Monki, (One can only imagine what level of sycophancy is required) you will get to know us and we you. We (sic) will get the chance to (You lucky, lucky little fuckers you!) strategize and arrange games with existing Monki's, in a relaxed and private atmosphere!

As Newer players, who have impressed someone in the TSM (Don't ya just feel blessed?), you will get to play with some of the most skilled players of the game (Chortle). We will coach and advise you in all aspects of gaming and forum life. (Ya...some real intellectual heavyweights in here!!)
If you prove to be fun and smart we will happily make you grown-up Monki (Ha! Not really! Most of you are FAR too shit for us!!!). This is an open group, members can apply to join.

I'm trying to think of something more consistantly demeaning than this sub-group must be. One can only imagine just how far up their own arses some of these slapping primates must have gone over the years....have they come out the other end yet? We just don't know.... More confusing to me is why anyone would subject themselves to such obvious abuse. Have you people no pride? To allow a bunch of cc-obsessives to treat you in this way? My god.

My favourite line is this one...

If you prove to be fun and smart we will happily make you grown-up Monki

Yuck.

Just yuck.

It is sick-makingly, vomit-inducingly appalling. Rise up you poor, deluded saps! Grow some balls!

I'm already patronized on a daily basis.

Locked.

Unlocked.

Please refrain from trolling, baiting or flaming each other or the thread will be locked again. If that reason doesn't work for you, think of poor TGD... poor, poor TGD.

who have impressed someone in the TSM

I'd just like to point out that writing "the TSM" (which is literally "the The Spanking Monkeys") is redundant, and should simply read "someone in TSM".

Serbia wrote:

who have impressed someone in the TSM

I'd just like to point out that writing "the TSM" (which is literally "the The Spanking Monkeys") is redundant, and should simply read "someone in TSM".

Careful Serbia, in the notoriously over-sensitive world of CC's uber clans this comment is the posting equivalent of crapping in another kid's khakis.

thegreekdog wrote:I'm already patronized on a daily basis.

Locked.

thegreekdog wrote:Unlocked.

Please refrain from trolling, baiting or flaming each other or the thread will be locked again. If that reason doesn't work for you, think of poor TGD... poor, poor TGD.

Double posting is a rules violation. You should be sent to The Spankademy for forum coaching.

Please lock this thread. All this talk about spanking, and no one will spank me, unless I promise to shave/wax. Where is the justice in this world. I would even consider joining the spank academy if I was promised at least one good spanking a week, with maybe a caning or handcuff action thrown in if I've been a really naughty boy.

I'm not gonna lie, I lol'd. I can appreciate Mr Changsha's humor...it's strangely liberating...

-Sully

This post does not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of TeamCC. But I mean, come on, it was pretty friggin funny...

I must applaud the monkeys on staying aloof from the fray. Maybe they are to busy talking to piggsie on their eventful journey to the west. Who knows, who can understand the enigmatic minds of the master simians. To understand one must first be an apprentice in the training academy I guess. In the pirates you just have to submit a few tasty pictures of yourself with a goat(applicants are not judged on the gender of the goat, photos with a live goat are more highly regard though), promise to grow your hair long and prefer rum to root beer. I presume in the BpB's you have to steal something and get shot at(a bit to hardcore for me). Thota requires three referees vouching for your equestrian skills. Korts ideal recruit is a player prepared to offer bruce fashion advice whilst eating cheese and drinking milkshakes. Tofu just views all other clans as training academies for tofu to skim the cream of the crop(soy cream that is, very much like lumpy custard). IA will kill me if I disclose their secrets.

I want to be patronised and spanked now please. Pretty please.


ps stay tuned for more clan recruitment data in the next exciting edition.

You don't have anything patronising to say about the other 5-10 training groups? You could put a whole list of demeaning recruitments

It would appear the only lucid cause for this terribly embarrassing TKO, is that there has been delivered to them a commandment to desist from working the forum's fields for the upcoming seventh month.

"Yes, but who has written this inauspicious clay tablet"? you might ask.. Which Mr. Wang(cc's newly adopted clan aficionado) will gleefully report, "don't work yourself up in a tizzy, it's surely another one of TSM's baneful jerk-offs"! Besides, the greater majority of us know not to go to the zoo in the heat of the summer. Mainly for that reason. Secondly, Zebra coitus.

*cringes*

It is in this sabbatical that allows them a leave of absence from reply. However, let us fear not my young fora pupii! For this day marks the dawn of a new beginning! One in which hate mongering trolls and self proclaimed cc 'ember wars' representatives(Chinesey and bookish as they may be) can join tiny yellow hands and berate the things they don't deem just, free from modurus adminii interference. Especially when berating small unorganized chimps.

What exactly is so terrible about being in a training group, learned some great tactics, and met some great players? Hahahaha nice OP.

BoganGod wrote:I must applaud the monkeys on staying aloof from the fray. Maybe they are to busy talking to piggsie on their eventful journey to the west. Who knows, who can understand the enigmatic minds of the master simians. To understand one must first be an apprentice in the training academy I guess. In the pirates you just have to submit a few tasty pictures of yourself with a goat(applicants are not judged on the gender of the goat, photos with a live goat are more highly regard though), promise to grow your hair long and prefer rum to root beer. I presume in the BpB's you have to steal something and get shot at(a bit to hardcore for me). Thota requires three referees vouching for your equestrian skills. Korts ideal recruit is a player prepared to offer bruce fashion advice whilst eating cheese and drinking milkshakes. Tofu just views all other clans as training academies for tofu to skim the cream of the crop(soy cream that is, very much like lumpy custard). IA will kill me if I disclose their secrets.

I want to be patronised and spanked now please. Pretty please.


ps stay tuned for more clan recruitment data in the next exciting edition.

Holy crap i can't stop laughing!

Frop wrote:

now thats

King_Herpes wrote:It would appear the only lucid cause for this terribly embarrassing TKO, is that there has been delivered to them a commandment to desist from working the forum's fields for the upcoming seventh month.

.

Or...CC's uber clans (for of course Thota behaved in the same way in the Thota vs BpB challenge thread) have become so unbearably pompous these days that they feel they are above criticism. One gets the impression that they see a thread like this as just such a terribly indignity, to have their blessed names bismirched in this manner...don't we realise how terribly important they are and all this is?

Of course the monkeys would use the old 'don't feed the troll' defence (if they didn't feel it was beneath them to enter this thread naturally). Yet I'm not really a troll, I always want to debate substantive issues... in this case the thread is an opportunity to consider the value and purpose of training clans in general. Yet because I've mocked them a little they refuse to play. Those that know me better are aware that 'play' is the key word in all this.

I would think that the forum community can only conclude that this 'TKO' (btw I predicted that the monkeys would adopt this exact attitude) reflects a comment I made at the very beginning of this thread.

One can only imagine just how far up their own arses some of these slapping primates must have gone over the years...have they come out the other end yet? We just don't know....

Yet the true narcissists seem to be the BpB and just look how boring you have become over the years. It's a pity.

Mr Changsha wrote:One man, one slightly deluded man, takes on an entire clan...in his own mind. He throws down the gauntlet in his bathtub, he stands proudly with his crotch out in front, wondering why its so shriveled, barking and he says to this clan... ''Defend your honour ya miserable wretches!'' For it is just one bandit mashing his thoroughly waxed parts, like monkeys. Just one confirmed lunatic to lock away and properly medicate with the practiced ease of a trained professional.

He can but think that they are preparing their dinners, and organising their lungs for a proper coughing bought of laughter. Surely no sane person or clan would be so wasteful in their time that it would defend itself against a charge so full of holes even the author himself barely believes in it.

Yet a monkey is not to be seen. Their absence is becoming increasingly inspiring . He wonders if the rumours he heard were true...that the monkeys have learned from thota, who similarly must endure crazy, possibly chemically imbalanced stalkers on a regular basis.

He suspects most will consider this post to be yet another example of blatant baiting, which of course it is, yet he sincerely hopes it will be taken as simply an effort to encourage the great minds of the monkeys, actual ones, not people who are far too intelligent to fall for such a ploy, to defend their creation of a training clan purely for the purposes of lording it and...one must sadly assume...post manipulation.

fixed

yawn

AAFitz wrote:

Mr Changsha wrote:One man, one slightly deluded man, takes on an entire clan...in his own mind. He throws down the gauntlet in his bathtub, he stands proudly with his crotch out in front, wondering why its so shriveled (Reported for casting aspersions upon my junk), barking and he says to this clan... ''Defend your honour ya miserable wretches!'' For it is just one bandit mashing his thoroughly waxed parts, like monkeys. Just one confirmed lunatic to lock away and properly medicate with the practiced ease of a trained professional (Reported for questioning my sanity).

He can but think that they are preparing their dinners, and organising their lungs for a proper coughing bought of laughter. Surely no sane person (Reported again...) or clan would be so wasteful in their time that it would defend itself against a charge so full of holes even the author himself barely believes in it.

Yet a monkey is not to be seen. Their absence is becoming increasingly inspiring . He wonders if the rumours he heard were true...that the monkeys have learned from thota, who similarly must endure crazy (it seems there is a theme...reported), possibly chemically imbalanced (Reported...claiming drug use, possibly endangering my life) stalkers on a regular basis.

He suspects most will consider this post to be yet another example of blatant baiting, which of course it is, yet he sincerely hopes it will be taken as simply an effort to encourage the great minds of the monkeys, actual ones, not people who are far too intelligent to fall for such a ploy (Reported for mocking my ploy), to defend their creation of a training clan purely for the purposes of lording it and...one must sadly assume...post manipulation.

fixed

I see what you are up to here Fitz... for is this not a classic example of playing the man not the ball? You may call me crazy (though by god I've worn out that report a post button in protest...oh yes, I love that thing) and maybe I am crazy. Maybe I do talk to myself in tongues and tongue perfect strangers in the name of the lord, and I may lord it over perfect strangers by waggling my unusually long tongue about like a deranged savage in a knocking shop, but that doesn't give you the right to dismiss my arguments purely on the basis that I am mentally unhinged.

This must remind us all of your recent attempts to have our proud cooks eviscerated purely on the basis that they are too undermunchen for your tastes. Your dastardly plans were foiled then, now I see you have moved on to discriminating against poor old me because I'm the kind of chap who would wear his trousers on his head, stick two chopsticks up his nose and quietly, but repeatedly, murmur "wibble".

What's next? Enforced periods of gaming purdah for women on rag week? Frankly I dread to think what kind of evil madness you've next got in mind for us all.

Lol at Changsha; you seem to do most of the chatting in here. Is this a jealousy post? Do you want to be a monkey deep down inside? Were you denied entry to the TSM? Lol. Whatever the reasons, I read nothing but absurd banter on your end. I'm sure if you play nice, they may let you join, lol, then again, maybe not; you first have to join the training grounds; be tested amongst the best of the best of TSM then your fate will become known in due time; they won't drag it out; they will be swift in their decision in regards to you, lol. Now on a serious note, most of the people affiliated with TSM are kind, smart, fun and most importantly for gaming issues, very strategically sound. To me Changsha, this seems like a group many would like to be a part of, no?

codeblue1018 wrote:Lol at Changsha; you seem to do most of the chatting in here. Is this a jealousy post? Do you want to be a monkey deep down inside? Were you denied entry to the TSM? Lol. Whatever the reasons, I read nothing but absurd banter on your end. I'm sure if you play nice, they may let you join, lol, then again, maybe not; you first have to join the training grounds; be tested amongst the best of the best of TSM then your fate will become known in due time; they won't drag it out; they will be swift in their decision in regards to you, lol. Now on a serious note, most of the people affiliated with TSM are kind, smart, fun and most importantly for gaming issues, very strategically sound. To me Changsha, this seems like a group many would like to be a part of, no?

Oh to be mocked by your gaming hero...is there anything worse than when someone you idolise, nay someone you lust after in more than just a gaming sense, someone you wish would just once call you a 'fucking faggot homo bitch cunt' and mean it like the gentle lover you know him to be, spurns your affections in such a fashion?

I'd love to tell you you're right my darling, I'd love to make this all go away by admitting a burning desire to be a monkey..so that we could play a few 1vs1's together and you could whisper softly "You f*ck bitch homo loser I've been a brig a squillion times suck your dad's cock and die" and I could masturbate along, both hands pumping away to your sweet, sweet words.

But sadly, and this is a blow I can tell you, my gaming hero appears to believe that secretly I want to be a monkey. How could he be so wrong? Say I want befriend a monkey, say I want to go to the jungle and teach monkeys to read dolphin, say I want to pump a granny monkey so hard it squeals...but don't say I want to be one.

I've lost a little respect for you codeblue. Not a lot, for you are still a thrusting adonis of a man in my fucked-up eyes, but a little.

Mr Changsha wrote:

codeblue1018 wrote:Lol at Changsha; you seem to do most of the chatting in here. Is this a jealousy post? Do you want to be a monkey deep down inside? Were you denied entry to the TSM? Lol. Whatever the reasons, I read nothing but absurd banter on your end. I'm sure if you play nice, they may let you join, lol, then again, maybe not; you first have to join the training grounds; be tested amongst the best of the best of TSM then your fate will become known in due time; they won't drag it out; they will be swift in their decision in regards to you, lol. Now on a serious note, most of the people affiliated with TSM are kind, smart, fun and most importantly for gaming issues, very strategically sound. To me Changsha, this seems like a group many would like to be a part of, no?

Oh to be mocked by your gaming hero...is there anything worse than when someone you idolise, nay someone you lust after in more than just a gaming sense, someone you wish would just once call you a 'fucking faggot homo bitch cunt' and mean it like the gentle lover you know him to be, spurns your affections in such a fashion?

I'd love to tell you you're right my darling, I'd love to make this all go away by admitting a burning desire to be a monkey..so that we could play a few 1vs1's together and you could whisper softly "You f*ck bitch homo loser I've been a brig a squillion times suck your dad's cock and die" and I could masturbate along, both hands pumping away to your sweet, sweet words.

But sadly, and this is a blow I can tell you, my gaming hero appears to believe that secretly I want to be a monkey. How could he be so wrong? Say I want befriend a monkey, say I want to go to the jungle and teach monkeys to read dolphin, say I want to pump a granny monkey so hard it squeals...but don't say I want to be one.

I've lost a little respect for you codeblue. Not a lot, for you are still a thrusting adonis of a man in my fucked-up eyes, but a little.[/quote

That's all you have is this pathetic tripe that you're spewing from that sewer of a mouth? It took all this time for you just embarrass yourself? Seriously? That's it? So so so very sad little man; keep trying; you may be on a roll is someones eyes perhaps; maybe even mine, lol. In fact, I may use a few of those brilliant and I mean brilliant statements for my sig little guy as it seems you put an awful lot of work in that masterpiece of words. Classic I say and a wonderful spokesman for bpb; classy! That's it Changsha; I accomplished what I was hoping you'd spew; nothing more needs to be said,