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HitRed wrote:Sure it's long but boy is it funny
Postby TA1LGUNN3R on Fri Dec 07, 2018 7:32 pm
Koalas are fucking horrible animals. They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal, additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognize it as food. They are too thick to adapt their feeding behavior to cope with change. In a room full of potential food, they can literally starve to death. This is not the token of an animal that is winning at life. Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fucking lives. When they are awake all they do is eat, shit and occasionally scream like fucking Satan. Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal. Many herbivorous mammals have adaptations to cope with harsh plant life taking its toll on their teeth, rodents for instance have teeth that never stop growing, some animals only have teeth on their lower jaw, grinding plant matter on bony plates in the tops of their mouths, others have enlarged molars that distribute the wear and break down plant matter more efficiently... Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death, because they're fucking terrible animals. Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here). When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system. Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher. This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree, which brings us full circle back to the brain: Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree. An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them.
Tldr; Koalas are stupid, leaky, STI riddled sex offenders. But, hey. They look cute. If you ignore the terrifying snake eyes and terrifying feet.
Postby HitRed on Thu Aug 23, 2018 11:47 am
"The target area is only two inches wide. It's a small thermal exhaust port, right below the main port. The shaft leads directly to the reactor system." - StarWars
shoop76 wrote:HitRed wrote:Sure it's long but boy is it funny
Postby TA1LGUNN3R on Fri Dec 07, 2018 7:32 pm
Koalas are fucking horrible animals. They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal, additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognize it as food. They are too thick to adapt their feeding behavior to cope with change. In a room full of potential food, they can literally starve to death. This is not the token of an animal that is winning at life. Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fucking lives. When they are awake all they do is eat, shit and occasionally scream like fucking Satan. Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal. Many herbivorous mammals have adaptations to cope with harsh plant life taking its toll on their teeth, rodents for instance have teeth that never stop growing, some animals only have teeth on their lower jaw, grinding plant matter on bony plates in the tops of their mouths, others have enlarged molars that distribute the wear and break down plant matter more efficiently... Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death, because they're fucking terrible animals. Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here). When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system. Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher. This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree, which brings us full circle back to the brain: Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree. An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them.
Tldr; Koalas are stupid, leaky, STI riddled sex offenders. But, hey. They look cute. If you ignore the terrifying snake eyes and terrifying feet.Postby HitRed on Thu Aug 23, 2018 11:47 am
"The target area is only two inches wide. It's a small thermal exhaust port, right below the main port. The shaft leads directly to the reactor system." - StarWars
Title says 2019, these are both from 2018.
king achilles wrote:This has been fixed. Unfortunately, we can’t undo what has occurred or reset any turns that was affected. We still have to take the game as it is. It is unfortunate incident and your understanding is greatly appreciated.
ConfederateSS wrote:-----Is this to get me to post more...Teegee... ...My shadow ROY G. BIV, is not going to like you after this Teegee... ConfederateSS.out!(The Blue and Silver Rebellion)... ...I nominate this post...
InnyaFacce wrote:For the most part forum posts are useless
But, here is the post that I would nominate
It all started here : https://www.conquerclub.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=506&t=229686king achilles wrote:This has been fixed. Unfortunately, we can’t undo what has occurred or reset any turns that was affected. We still have to take the game as it is. It is unfortunate incident and your understanding is greatly appreciated.
What a friggin' joke ...
This pathetic establishment never holds itself accountable for anything
Not even a [ SORRY ] if any of your turns got screwed up
We can't undo what has occurred - Take the game as it is
Continue to pay for a low quality product 'cuz [ WE ] the Management Team do not care about your concerns
zeus111 wrote:if wall posts count nietzsche s posts on plane crashes id like to nominate
Razorvich wrote:PLEASE let me explain it to you
EDIT..... please Click "Show this post" to read this LOL
mookiemcgee wrote:Razorvich wrote:PLEASE let me explain it to you
EDIT..... please Click "Show this post" to read this LOL
Jdsizzleslice wrote:Mods / CC Representatives that should be fired
By far the most entertaining/ridiculous thread this year, so far.
Keefie wrote:Jdsizzleslice wrote:Mods / CC Representatives that should be fired
By far the most entertaining/ridiculous thread this year, so far.
I will second this nomination.
riskllama wrote:Koolbak wins this thread.
ConfederateSS wrote:ConfederateSS wrote:-----Is this to get me to post more...Teegee... ...My shadow ROY G. BIV, is not going to like you after this Teegee... ConfederateSS.out!(The Blue and Silver Rebellion)... ...I nominate this post...
-------Did I win Jan.'s post?.... ... ConfederateSS.out!(The Blue and Rebellion)...
Jdsizzleslice wrote:Mods / CC Representatives that should be fired
By far the most entertaining/ridiculous thread this year, so far.
Evil Semp wrote:Jdsizzleslice wrote:Mods / CC Representatives that should be fired
By far the most entertaining/ridiculous thread this year, so far.
Don't feed the trolls.
NomadPatriot wrote:Evil Semp wrote:Jdsizzleslice wrote:Mods / CC Representatives that should be fired
By far the most entertaining/ridiculous thread this year, so far.
Don't feed the trolls.
if you call someone a troll that entails they affected you emotionally... with words
are you emotional Semp…?
you can cry on Raz's shoulder if you need too..
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