Escalating VS. Flat Rate/No Cards
Posted: Sat Aug 09, 2008 4:33 pmHere in CC today we have 2 distinct groups...
Escalating players and Flat Rate/No Cards Players...
These 2 groups often disagree on many issues, such as which format requires the higher skill... I would like to take a moment to show definitively why this division exists... you see, Escalating players are Conservative by nature, while Liberals tend to prefer Flat Rate/No Cards... the history of these 2 groups dates back many thousands of years... To better understand this division within CC, one should closely examine the History of Liberals and Conservatives...
The division of the human family into these two distinct branches occurred some 10,000 years ago, a few hundred years after the flood... back when humans coexisted as members of small bands of nomadic hunter/gatherers.
In the single greatest pivotal event of societal evolution, beer was invented. This innovation was both the foundation of modern civilization and also triggered the separation of humanity into its two distinct subgroups... Liberals and Conservatives.
You see, once beer was discovered, it required grain, and that was the beginning of agriculture... Since neither the glass bottle or aluminum can had yet been invented, it was necessary to stick pretty close to the brewery... And that's why villages were formed.
Some men spent their days killing animals to barbecue at night while drinking beer... This was the beginning of the conservative movement.
Other men, who were weaker and less skilled at hunting, learned how to live off conservatives by showing up for the BBQs every night and doing women's work like sewing, fetching and hair dressing... This was the beginning of the liberal movement.
Early liberal achievements included the domestication of cats, invention of group therapy and democratic voting to see how to divide the beer and meat that the conservatives provided. Over time, liberals did not produce anything as they preferred to "govern" the producers and decide what was to be done with the production. Liberal men stopped caring for their women once they discovered that their women had more testosterone than they did. Liberals liked deviant sex and want others to like it too. Their first successful city governments were Sodom, where the first Flat Rate games were played, and Gomorrah, where No Cards games on every conceivable map were played as an open spectacle. Sodomites and Gomorrahites would become hostile if you failed to recognize the difference between them and their games, and this remarkable fact remains true with their decedents to this very day.
Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat, and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumber-jacks, construction workers, medical doctors, police officers, escalating players, corporate executives, soldiers, athletes, and generally anyone who works productively outside government. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.
The American cowboy, of course, is your basic, full-bore Conservative Escalating Player. A hundred years ago, an Englishman visiting America was attempting to find the owner of a huge cattle ranch. He rode up to one of the ranch hands, and inquired,
"Pardon me, but could you perhaps tell me where I might locate your master?"
To which the cowboy replied,
"That sumbitch ain't been born yet".
Escalating players and Flat Rate/No Cards Players...
These 2 groups often disagree on many issues, such as which format requires the higher skill... I would like to take a moment to show definitively why this division exists... you see, Escalating players are Conservative by nature, while Liberals tend to prefer Flat Rate/No Cards... the history of these 2 groups dates back many thousands of years... To better understand this division within CC, one should closely examine the History of Liberals and Conservatives...
The division of the human family into these two distinct branches occurred some 10,000 years ago, a few hundred years after the flood... back when humans coexisted as members of small bands of nomadic hunter/gatherers.
In the single greatest pivotal event of societal evolution, beer was invented. This innovation was both the foundation of modern civilization and also triggered the separation of humanity into its two distinct subgroups... Liberals and Conservatives.
You see, once beer was discovered, it required grain, and that was the beginning of agriculture... Since neither the glass bottle or aluminum can had yet been invented, it was necessary to stick pretty close to the brewery... And that's why villages were formed.
Some men spent their days killing animals to barbecue at night while drinking beer... This was the beginning of the conservative movement.
Other men, who were weaker and less skilled at hunting, learned how to live off conservatives by showing up for the BBQs every night and doing women's work like sewing, fetching and hair dressing... This was the beginning of the liberal movement.
Early liberal achievements included the domestication of cats, invention of group therapy and democratic voting to see how to divide the beer and meat that the conservatives provided. Over time, liberals did not produce anything as they preferred to "govern" the producers and decide what was to be done with the production. Liberal men stopped caring for their women once they discovered that their women had more testosterone than they did. Liberals liked deviant sex and want others to like it too. Their first successful city governments were Sodom, where the first Flat Rate games were played, and Gomorrah, where No Cards games on every conceivable map were played as an open spectacle. Sodomites and Gomorrahites would become hostile if you failed to recognize the difference between them and their games, and this remarkable fact remains true with their decedents to this very day.
Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat, and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumber-jacks, construction workers, medical doctors, police officers, escalating players, corporate executives, soldiers, athletes, and generally anyone who works productively outside government. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.
The American cowboy, of course, is your basic, full-bore Conservative Escalating Player. A hundred years ago, an Englishman visiting America was attempting to find the owner of a huge cattle ranch. He rode up to one of the ranch hands, and inquired,
"Pardon me, but could you perhaps tell me where I might locate your master?"
To which the cowboy replied,
"That sumbitch ain't been born yet".
and only ever got 4 army sets...