Conquer Club

Dear Andy and Twill (and I suppose Lack too),

I tried to send you a private PM yesterday but instead I realized that writing "Private PM" is redundant, since PM stands for "Private Message". So I went on the forums and posted a complaint thread in which I complain.

Let me start by saying that I love complaining about Conquer Club. I enjoy complaining about most of the maps, love complaining about what the foundry is going to turn out next while complaining about them taking too long to finish, and jumping in for 3-4 games every time a new map comes out, then complaining about the maps. I enjoy complaining about the forums, particularly those times when I can't keep up with the posts because there are so many coming at once, but I also enjoy complaining about the forums in those times when there are no new posts coming in and it is slow. I enjoy complaining about tournaments and meeting people from all over the world to whom I can complain.

So here's what I'm asking for.

I would like to see you have a locked thread in the announcements forum that one of you will update daily with cool YouTube links to hip hop videos that will make us want to dance and then complain about.

I'd like to know the official reason that I am so incredibly awesome and entitled to receiving whatever I demand from you. This may be a confirmation of the general wisdom and may not be.

I'd like to know what the process going forward for the Nets moving to Brooklyn is. I do not feel like looking this up in the newspapers, and demand you tell me.

that's fairly simple and, to my mind at least, not an unreasonable amount of complaining.

People are passionate about things they care about (in my case, that would be complaining) and only want to make it better. Most of us want to see ourselves succeed and are reasonable folks, so you should dance like a monkey when I demand it. You've already cost everyone reading this thread at least two minutes of his/her life and if you think that quality life like that is easily replaced you're sadly mistaken.

Sincerely
pimpdave
aka Detective Inspector Ridiculous

pimpdave wrote:aka Detective Inspector Ridiculous

that name kicks ass... period...-0

I agree with dave's point, but not his approach.

Minister Masket wrote:I agree with dave's point, but not his approach.

You could be right.

Just to state for the record, this is intended purely as lighthearted parody. I hope no one's feelings are hurt, and sincerely hope that if they are, you take to heart the point I'm driving at, and think of more constructive ways to spend your time than complaining about things and creating negative PR for a site that still COMPLETELY RULES!!!!

I believe the post you are parodying was meant as constructive criticism...can't do that now?

Most want the site to suceed and to improve, sometimes this can only be done via direct communication.

BeakerWMA wrote:I believe the post you are parodying was meant as constructive criticism...can't do that now?

Most want the site to suceed and to improve, sometimes this can only be done via direct communication.

Detailing how self-righteous oneself is, reading the riot act, then enumerating a list of very serious demands, followed by a final dig at the site admins suggesting the departure of some key personnel as being related to the complaints levied in the letter instead of just coincidental timing?

Yup, you're right. That's absolutely constructive criticism.

This was hilarious. Not only that, but it was superbly done.

Seal of Approval. A-triple-plus.

Dancing Mustard wrote:This was hilarious. Not only that, but it was superbly done.

Seal of Approval. A-triple-plus.

Thank you. I assume then that you were deeply offended by the content.

I hear you, I hear you, Pimpdave. But I already dance like a monkey! But I will surely discuss your demands, I mean, requests, with the rest of the team. Perhaps we can all move forward then.


--Andy

Dancing Mustard wrote:This was hilarious. Not only that, but it was superbly done.

Seal of Approval. A-triple-plus.

I agree.

First of all that was a little amusing
Second of all, do you really think that this going to get anywhere? All that it is going to do is piss people off, and make the entire situation worse. People have the right to complain, especially if they are paying for something (true, only $25 per year, but multiply that by how many prems there are, and that's a hefty amount), and by you mocking them, all that's going to happen is that you'll give them one more thing to complain about! Seriously, can't you ever make a serious post that actually contains valid information?!?!
---C

cpurcell wrote:First of all that was a little amusing
Second of all, do you really think that this going to get anywhere? All that it is going to do is piss people off, and make the entire situation worse. People have the right to complain, especially if they are paying for something (true, only $25 per year, but multiply that by how many prems there are, and that's a hefty amount), and by you mocking them, all that's going to happen is that you'll give them one more thing to complain about! Seriously, can't you ever make a serious post that actually contains valid information?!?!
---C

So are you complaining about his complaining? Or are you complaining about the way his complaining parodies complaining? Or are you are parodying complaining in your complaint about his complaint which is a parody of complaints?

Fruitcake wrote:So are you complaining about his complaining? Or are you complaining about the way his complaining parodies complaining? Or are you are parodying complaining in your complaint about his complaint which is a parody of complaints?

after a long day, reading this made me feel like heavycolas avatar.

Fruitcake wrote:

cpurcell wrote:First of all that was a little amusing
Second of all, do you really think that this going to get anywhere? All that it is going to do is piss people off, and make the entire situation worse. People have the right to complain, especially if they are paying for something (true, only $25 per year, but multiply that by how many prems there are, and that's a hefty amount), and by you mocking them, all that's going to happen is that you'll give them one more thing to complain about! Seriously, can't you ever make a serious post that actually contains valid information?!?!
---C

So are you complaining about his complaining? Or are you complaining about the way his complaining parodies complaining? Or are you are parodying complaining in your complaint about his complaint which is a parody of complaints?

the former i do belive

Fruitcake wrote:
So are you complaining about his complaining? Or are you complaining about the way his complaining parodies complaining? Or are you are parodying complaining in your complaint about his complaint which is a parody of complaints?

Okay I think I got this....wait no. Let me read it again.


I think the answer is B.

I'm amused that you still are driving at trying to cause unrest when a simple request for information was made.

Get off your high horse, no one cares about you.

Fruitcake wrote:So are you complaining about his complaining? Or are you complaining about the way his complaining parodies complaining? Or are you are parodying complaining in your complaint about his complaint which is a parody of complaints?

Took a bit of re-reading, but I finally got it. Actually, I'm not complaining, I'm seriously wondering why he complains about everyone, true everyone has the right to complain, but making fun of other people's serious situations is just crappy.
---C

Bones2484 wrote:I'm amused that you still are driving at trying to cause unrest when a simple request for information was made.

Get off your high horse, no one cares about you.

Who is that to?
---C

cpurcell wrote:

Bones2484 wrote:I'm amused that you still are driving at trying to cause unrest when a simple request for information was made.

Get off your high horse, no one cares about you.

Who is that to?
---C

The same person you are questioning the motives of.

Bones2484 wrote:The same person you are questioning the motives of.

Finally it seems that we agree on something! Amazing! It just wasn't clear, I thought you might have meant me or Fruitcake.
---C

cpurcell wrote:Finally it seems that we agree on something! Amazing! It just wasn't clear, I thought you might have meant me or Fruitcake.
---C

I apologize for my ignorance, but have I disagreed with you on something before?

cpurcell wrote:

Fruitcake wrote:So are you complaining about his complaining? Or are you complaining about the way his complaining parodies complaining? Or are you are parodying complaining in your complaint about his complaint which is a parody of complaints?

Took a bit of re-reading, but I finally got it. Actually, I'm not complaining, I'm seriously wondering why he complains about everyone, true everyone has the right to complain, but making fun of other people's serious situations is just crappy.
---C

cpurcell wrote:THIS IS SH*T!!!! IF THIS ISN'T REVERSED, I'LL DEMAND A REFUND, AND QUIT!!!! WHY CAN'T YOU PEOPLE EVER LEAVE ANYTHING ALONE!!! YOU MEAN THAT YOU LOOKED AT THAT MAP, AND THOUGHT THAT WE WOULD BE HAPPY WTH IT REALLY? BECAUSE YOU SHOULD STUDY YOUR CUSTOMERS MORE, BECAUSE WE ALL HATE IT!!!!

You still here then...............thought you would have gone by now.

Bones2484 wrote:Get off your high horse, no one cares about you.

You're right on the latter, wrong on the former.

I'm not on a high horse. If I was on a high horse, I would be lecturing you and barterer2002, instead of mocking you. So, my dear sir, I must posit that it is you who is on the high horse, and not I. I'm just the kung fu master who has jump kicked you off of yours and now we can have a fight with nunchucks and stuff and it will be awesome!

But I'm glad we have something in common, I don't care about myself either. As evidence I present the following: I'm posting on an internets forum.

cpurcell wrote: but making fun of other people's serious situations is just crappy.
---C

Which is what I was trying to get across. Complain about something that actually matters, like maybe the genocide no one cares about in Sudan.

The time spent writing these bullshit complaint open letters, why not write a letter to your representative in the house?

(and while you might claim that you already do, I sincerely doubt that's true, as if that were the case, you couldn't possibly consider the recent tumult here to be a serious situation.)

Or, if the idea of helping African people in an oil rich nation unsettles you, why not research the copyright laws as they apply to a website like Conquer Club, and then either A) make legitimate suggestions (although, do so privately, with private PMs) or B) recognize that the Sisyphean struggle that awaits the admins to continue to just provide you an outlet in which you can complain will require you being just a little bit patient.

Plenty of people have attempted to rationally explain as much of the situation as possible. hwhrhett made a post somewhere mentioning that perhaps they can't tell us anything without complicating the situation, which was very close to something I posted about the objective of the site admins possibly being subverted by making too much information public. They deserve the benefit of the doubt, at the very least.

So, by the very right that you have to complain, I have the right to parody your complaints for my own and others' entertainment. My doing so here in GD was with the intent of showing the opposing viewpoint; that there are at least some of us who are patient and willing to ride out the storm, rather than to barricade the door and break out the shotguns and a list demands.

Bones2484 wrote:I apologize for my ignorance, but have I disagreed with you on something before?

Yes, the other dude covered it.

Gypsys Kiss wrote:cpurcell wrote:
THIS IS SH*T!!!! IF THIS ISN'T REVERSED, I'LL DEMAND A REFUND, AND QUIT!!!! WHY CAN'T YOU PEOPLE EVER LEAVE ANYTHING ALONE!!! YOU MEAN THAT YOU LOOKED AT THAT MAP, AND THOUGHT THAT WE WOULD BE HAPPY WTH IT REALLY? BECAUSE YOU SHOULD STUDY YOUR CUSTOMERS MORE, BECAUSE WE ALL HATE IT!!!!

You still here then...............thought you would have gone by now.

Yes I'm still here... . And speaking of this, I was meaning to send out a general appology. I am usually very composed and only flame and insult discreetly, but I was particularly peeved that my favorite and third favorite maps got uh destroyed. I over-reacted, and I appoligize to any and all who I offended. I understand that CC did what they had to do, but I still feel like they could have given some warning so that we could all end our classic games until we saw what the new map looked like.

To Pimpdave, dude you need to talk alot less. I can't even read the stuff you write because you type too much. I just browse through it .
---C