Conquer Club

Folks, I am at my wit's end. Think whatever you want of me, but I'm getting sick and tired of people calling for more ing Doodle maps. People either try to make their own spin-off because they think it's easy, or they ask me to do it because they think it's easy. Just look at all these threads from the last two years:

viewtopic.php?f=63&t=77357 -- Doodle Europe
viewtopic.php?f=63&t=78064 -- Doodle Africa
viewtopic.php?f=63&t=79162 -- Doodle 2.0
viewtopic.php?f=242&t=78364 -- Doodle Class
viewtopic.php?f=127&t=78446 -- Doodle Pack
viewtopic.php?f=242&t=54202 -- Scribble Earth
viewtopic.php?f=63&t=94799 -- Age of Doodles

And these are only the spinoffs people have tried on their own. Do you people know how many ing times I've been told I should make a Doodle sequel? Four or five. Absurd! What for, that's what I want to know. I think we can all agree that there's already one Doodle map. Isn't that enough? If you ask me, Doodle Earth is a niche map, and it's always been a niche map, except now the niche's been filled. There are plenty of other small maps out there, and endless potential themes. Why yearn for the same old?

Well, folks, I'm sad to say that you win. I can deal with the pressure from four people but five is too much for me. You really want another Doodle map that bad? Catch!



You think that was easy to make? You think I just sat down in a cushy chair and churned this piece of out in ten minutes? Well, I got news for you: It took me fifteen minutes to draw all that up and another two hours to come up with all the territory names. You think comedy gold like "Philadelphia State" writes itself? This map is 93% perspiration and 7% Ohio. I hope you're ing happy now.

...

What do you mean, you're not? First one map isn't enough, then two aren't enough. Does your appetite know no bounds?

Well, fine. Anything to get you to stop screaming. Open wide, 'cause here comes the choo-choo train!



You get what you paid for, folks! Look at those sleek curves, those chunky rectangles. The same ing quality you've come to expect from the Doodle brand. And no fewer than four territories named after random people -- that must be a personal record. Heck, I don't think I can beat this map if I tried for another five months, so I might as well quit while I'm ahead. No more Doodle maps. Not even if you yell.

...

Stop yelling!



You like that? You like it when I rub this hot, sweaty doodle all over your face? I mean, uhh... Never mind what I just said. Focus on the map, people! Look at that green grass, that blue water, those grey armchair things. Couldn't you just see yourself spending forever in this idyllic land, forever obviating the need for any more Doodle maps ever. Right?

...

That's not enough for you? What do you ing want from me!?! Maps aren't my whole life, you know. I'm good for other things. I can do party tricks: Watch me make this crayon disappear!

No? Fine, have another map.



Surely this is enough. It's tiny, it's cutsey, and I even put in three "More Something" territories. It's a magical ing wonderland! Plus that channel between Thick and Trees kinda looks like a face. Two people could spend an afternoon going at each other on this, rather than five years. Any sane person would be satisfied to draw the line here. But let me guess...

...

Yep, still want another one.



That's it. Last one. This is the absolute end. No more, you hear?! Don't give me that look, I'm done here. ! I'm through jumping through hoops! Will you people never be satisfied until every corner of the G d's green earth is Doodlized into a grotesque 18-territory mockery of an actual playable map?

Doodles! Oodles upon oodles of Doodles. Doodle every continent and Doodle every country, and Doodle every city within. Doodle all of history's major battles and wars. Doodle the fantastic, the abstract, the bizarre, the mundane. Doodle Conquer Man, Doodle Poker Club, Doodle Luxembourg. Doodle the beaches, Doodle the landing grounds, Doodle the fields and the streets, Doodle the hills. Doodle France twice! Doodle until we drop, and and when we can't Doodle anymore a horde of copycats will rise up to carry on our Doodling for us.

Well, if you're so keen on Doodling, Doodle this.



And Doodle you. I'm out.

I'd like to take up doodle wars

Jk, maybe later, but please stop distracting the mods from my thread

Oh God, that was amazing.

Dammit guys you drove him insane.
Doodled his noodle if you will.

i would play all of these maps...

well they are draft quality

genius

Let's get them all Quenched, ASAP!

I'd settle for Doodle Earth 2.1.

You can kinda tell where he finally snapped. The last 2 don't even look like playable maps, but the the others look good

Yep, he really has schnappped hic hic hic.....
I;m quite disappointed...there's no Doodle Water in the loo
or is that Doodle in the waterloo

this thread idea was started a while pack maybe you should get together and work some more ideas out
posting.php?mode=quote&f=127&p=1860557

RedBaron0 wrote:I'd settle for Doodle Earth 2.1.

Maybe I'd call it Classic Art.

Jace22 wrote:You can kinda tell where he finally snapped. The last 2 don't even look like playable maps, but the the others look good

I assure you Doodle Chinese Checkers is at least playable. There are 18 territories, like the others.

cairnswk wrote:I;m quite disappointed...there's no Doodle Water in the loo
or is that Doodle in the waterloo

I did want to do a historic battle map but (A) representing one in doodlevision would be tricky and (B) the gameplays tend to be too complicated to reduce well.

ill take doodle warz! i got dipz no im not kidding but yes ill use my own stuff i downloaded

[Moved]

I will be happy to move back the thread in the drafting room when it will be a clear plan for the production of this package of map.
Now, it is just a funny random list. Are you going to develope all this maps? Are some of them (or all/or none) just a joke?

thenobodies80 wrote:[Moved]

I will be happy to move back the thread in the drafting room when it will be a clear plan for the production of this package of map.
Now, it is just a funny random list. Are you going to develope all this maps? Are some of them (or all/or none) just a joke?

I'm sorry, officer, I didn't see where the sign said drafts had to be serious. Well, yes, every one of those maps is a sick, twisted joke.

This was great! Nice thread. The funniest part is that someone actually stole one of your ideas.

Most excellent Mr wit.

C.

all of them must now be completed. continue

This is clearly a non idea and should be in another forum-maybe the anti-doodle or the anti-small-maps forum.

When it gets there the discusees may wish to consider city mogul's amazing graphics

DJ Teflon wrote:This is clearly a non idea and should be in another forum-maybe the anti-doodle or the anti-small-maps forum.

What is with the Foundry's anal retentive insistence on organization? Can't have ideas in the drafting section, can't have jokes in the ideas section, can't discuss the relative merits of Chinese and Japanese green teas in the final forge section. How can an artist be expected to work under these conditions?

Not sure I can find the work you are referring to. Folks round here are generally supportive of positive map development.

Well, I did spin off the idea of a smaller conquest map over to PLUG PLUG PLUG so there is a sliver of an idea here.

This thread is pure genius

yeah it should be archived somewhere or something.

Quench everything.
Espedcially Doodle Wars, with the Emperorial Dinosaurs territory.