Conquer Club

Post'em if you got'em.


To kick things off:

-Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)


-Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."


-When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

-Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there



There is plenty to go around, let's hear it

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

My daughter once found a web page of them. This was my favorite:

Chuck Norris crossed the road. Nobody dared question his motives.

Facts?!? Not so sure about that but...just to play along...

Follow these steps:
1. Go to Google.com
2. Type in "Find Chuck Norris"
3. Click the "I'm feeling lucky" button
4. Laugh (out loud)

Chuck Norris doesn't have a "control" key on his keyboard.



















He is always in control.

The only person who beat Chuck Norris did not live much longer after that (which is kind of true; Bruce Lee in Enter the Dragon).

Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Chuck Norris thought up some of the funniest Chuck Norris facts ever, but he hasn't submitted them to the site because he doesn't believe in any form of submission.

BigBallinStalin wrote:Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Chuck Norris thought up some of the funniest Chuck Norris facts ever, but he hasn't submitted them to the site because he doesn't believe in any form of submission.

Winrar.

-Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

-Chuck Norris' first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors.

-After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. It was more "humane".

When Chuck Norris jumps in the water he doessnt get 'wet', the water gets 'chuck norris'

Chuck Norris once ate an Atomic Fireball candy and was not impressed, so he ate the sun. A few hours later, he farted, inventing fireworks.

Say you want to survive a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris. There is no app for that.

Chuck Norris has a library card.

Chuck Norris knows all the possible ways to eat a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup.

Chuck Norris invented Conquer Club.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

Chuck Norris did not vote for Barack Obama.

Chuck Norris uses a live rattlesnake as a condom.

Chuck Norris understands that the dice on Conquer Club are in fact random and hence does not complain when he loses several rolls in a row..

Chuck Norris does not like the food at Olive Garden.

Chuck Norris invented McGill University.

muy_thaiguy wrote:The only person who beat Chuck Norris did not live much longer after that (which is kind of true; Bruce Lee in Enter the Dragon).

Chuck Norris wasn't in "Enter the Dragon".


Honibaz

Doc_Brown wrote:Chuck Norris invented McGill University.

God dammit I was about to post that.

Chuck Norris can eat 6 saltine crackers in 60 seconds without a drink.

Doc_Brown wrote:Chuck Norris invented McGill University.

A good joke, but to set the record straight: Chuck Norris was invented at McGill University before Chuck Norris invented McGill University.