A third grade teacher decided to quiz her students on famous presidential quotes. The first quote was "all men are created equal". After a moment of absolute silence a little Japanese kid raised his hand and said "Abraham Lincoln, 1863." "Very good Mr. Sakamoto" said the teacher, now who said "ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country"? Another moment of silence and then the Japanese kid raised his hand again - "John F. Kennedy, 1962." "Excellent Mr. Sakamoto" said the teacher.
She looked over the other kids in the class and said "now you children should be ashamed. Here you are being shown up by having a Japanese boy know more about your country than you." At this point an anonymous voice piped up - "f*ck the Japanese!". The teacher's eyes darted from student to student as she angrily demanded "who said that?!" A prim little girl in pigtails then raised her hand and said "Harry Truman, 1945."
Honibaz
Re: Post a good joke
Posted: Thu Mar 25, 2010 8:02 pm
by Symmetry
Pirate walk into a bar. He's got a hook for hand, a peg leg, and an eye-patch. Sits down next to a sailor and orders his rum.
A few drinks in, the sailor says "I've got to ask- how did you lose that leg?"
Pirate: "Argh" as pirates do, "'twas a terrible storm, I were washed overboard. Before they fished me out, a shark bit of me leg.
Sailor: That's terrible. What happened to your hand?
Pirate: "Argh" (I told you that they do), "boardin' an enemy ship. Before I ran 'im through, the gutless swine took off me hand"
Sailor: That's awful, but what happened to your eye?
Pirate: 'twas a beautiful day. I looked up at the clouds, and a gull crapped in my eye.
4. You're standing on the banks of a river. A sign says- "Beware of Crocodiles". You need to get to the other side, but there's no boat, no bridge, it's too far to jump, and you have nothing useful at hand. How do get across.
A Mexican, an Arab, and a Minnesota woman are having drinks together at a bar. The bartender gives each of them a free shot, provided, after they drink, they share something about where they live before the glass is set down.
So the Mexican drinks first, and when he is done he throws his glass in the air and shoots it with his pistol and says, "In Mexico, our glasses are so cheap we don't ever drink out of the same glass twice."
The Arab, obviously impressed, took his shot, pulled out an AK-47 and put a bullet through the glass before it hit the ground and said "In Arabia, we have so much sand to make glass that we don't need to drink from the same glass either."
The Minnesota girl takes her shot, throws the glass in the air, whips out her 45 and shoots both the Mexican and the Arab dead before the glass hits the floor, and says, "Here, in Minnesota, we have so many illegal aliens, we don't need to drink with the same ones twice."
I heard Obama was raising the tax on aspirin 500%.
Why?
Cuz they are white and they work
Re: Post a good joke
Posted: Fri Mar 26, 2010 8:07 pm
by Symmetry
Sigh- this happened slightly faster than I thought, and, true to form, problems with the words "good" and "joke". Phatscotty gets points for understanding the latter. Jay... ah well.
Posted: Wed Mar 24, 2010 8:22 pm