Conquer Club

whom would they be, and why?

Rule #1 - you can not choose ol' Saxi ... don't want my feelings hurt when I don't get chosen, gang!

Rule #2 - you would not be permitted to fornicate with the members you've chosen (let's keep this thread clean, gang)

ATM I would choose:

AON: He could build a gun out of duct tape and bamboo to protect us against wild animals.

Nietzsche: He would entertain me with long conversations about the philosophical and theoretical.

Woodruff: He could lecture the wild animals about personal responsibility so as to lull them to sleep and keep us safe if AON's gun didn't work.

ooo, fun thread. Let's see...

1. Neoteny - He studies biology or something like that, so he would have some useful knowledge. Also, I would be about as certain as I could be that he wouldn't go batshit insane and kill us all.

2. Snorri - He's a med student I believe. Useful in case of injury.

3. MeDeFe - cause he's that awesome

1. AON, former military man so that increases my chances of survival. He'll be the muscle.

2. Phatscotty, I'm sure he can bore a few animals to death so we can eat. We can also have him build our hutts and stuff simply because I don't want to. AON can just beat him into workin on the hutts too if needed.

3. B.K. Barunt, if the above two fail I'm sure Barunt will die of old age or somethin and I'll resort to cannibalism. (Sorry buddy! ) In the meantime though, I'm sure he'd probably shit talk scotty for giggles while scotty is beaing beaten by AON for refusing to make our hutts.

InkL0sed wrote:
2. Snorri - He's a med student I believe.

oh God help us all

saxitoxin wrote:AON: He could build a gun out of duct tape and bamboo to protect us against wild animals.

Army of Nobanuga is MacGyver? Who knew?

1. Phatscotty
2. Sultan of Surreal
3. The one hot, single 18 year old girl on this site

Scotty and Sultan can be mine and number 3's entertainment as they bicker and/or slap fight for a few hours every day, then we cage them so they don't kill eachother. Number 3's purpose of being with me is obvious, and if we run out of food, we can each feast on Scotty and Sultan.

And yes, theoretically, number 3 exists.

Sorry Mr. Secretary of Offensive Odors, but read the rules:

saxitoxin wrote:Rule #2 - you would not be permitted to fornicate with the members you've chosen (let's keep this thread clean, gang)

Otherwise I'd have chosen you.

InkL0sed wrote:Sorry Mr. Secretary of Offensive Odors, but read the rules:

saxitoxin wrote:Rule #2 - you would not be permitted to fornicate with the members you've chosen (let's keep this thread clean, gang)

Otherwise I'd have chosen you.

Can we at least get to third base?

1. Pedronicus, so when I want to do something for myself, I can count on him to point the finger of blame everywhere else but at me.

2. Baron, because he is so good at being anti-conspiratorial, I would be able to plan and execute any conspiracy I wished, and he would always denounce it for me.

3. Inky, to be my personal bitch. Slap him up with a Gimp costume and lock him in a box. (purely for manual labor)

I have no idea who they are, but the three hottest women here.



I'm assuming I would be without Internet porn, right?

TheProwler wrote:I have no idea who they are, but the three hottest women here.



I'm assuming I would be without Internet porn, right?

Hi handsome

Army of GOD wrote:1. Phatscotty
2. Sultan of Surreal
3. The one hot, single 18 year old girl on this site

Scotty and Sultan can be mine and number 3's entertainment as they bicker and/or slap fight for a few hours every day, then we cage them so they don't kill eachother. Number 3's purpose of being with me is obvious, and if we run out of food, we can each feast on Scotty and Sultan.

And yes, theoretically, number 3 exists.

Your approaching this thing wrongly. Think about it, take a woman and a mam, they can fornicate each other, and you wait till their daughters are legal in the island. They (the first 2 chosen) can be a doctor and a handy man. The third should have to be funny and engaging and at the same time a camping aficionado.

Funny nietzsche, because I was thinking the same way. It's kinda like a puzzle.

17 years without sex though? Jeez...

Your approaching this thing wrongly. Think about it, take a woman and a mam, they can fornicate each other, and you wait till their daughters are legal in the island.

You're on a deserted Island, why do you have to wait till they're legal

You sick f*ck...

Army of GOD wrote:1. Phatscotty
2. Sultan of Surreal
3. The one hot, single 18 year old girl on this site

Scotty and Sultan can be mine and number 3's entertainment as they bicker and/or slap fight for a few hours every day, then we cage them so they don't kill eachother. Number 3's purpose of being with me is obvious, and if we run out of food, we can each feast on Scotty and Sultan.

And yes, theoretically, number 3 exists.

So, you think I am entertaining? I'm actually pretty boring. I would get you to send me home after 3 hours...probably 2 if I tried

Nononono, you and sultan will get in slap fights. Like a boxing match.

Army of GOD wrote:Nononono, you and sultan will get in slap fights. Like a boxing match.

I am 100% non-violent.

Phatscotty wrote:

Army of GOD wrote:Nononono, you and sultan will get in slap fights. Like a boxing match.

I am 100% non-violent.

Which is why AON is beating you to make our hutts.

AHHHH!

Gang, the intent of this question was not to come up with the most creative way to copulate while remaining technically compliant with the rules. You all need to be castrated.

Army of GOD wrote:Funny nietzsche, because I was thinking the same way. It's kinda like a puzzle.

17 years without sex though? Jeez...

I take it you've never been married...

saxitoxin wrote:AHHHH!

Gang, the intent of this question was not to come up with the most creative way to copulate while remaining technically compliant with the rules. You all need to be castrated.

hey is that not the point of all your threads sax?

Cause you keep me laughing.

targetman377 wrote:

saxitoxin wrote:AHHHH!

Gang, the intent of this question was not to come up with the most creative way to copulate while remaining technically compliant with the rules. You all need to be castrated.

hey is that not the point of all your threads sax?

Cause you keep me laughing.

My thread was, once again, threadjacked by AOG and all his no-good friends and their overactive testosterone. I want AOG and all those kids OFF MY LAWN. I'm gonna make a suggestion in the suggestions forum for a Seniors board here in The Club just for those of us 70 and over.*

* We'll let Woodruff in, though, because he has the attitude of a crotchety 80 year-old even if his body is a bit younger. (In contrast to ol' Sax here. I'm a 73 year old man living in a gated community in Santa Barbara but my mind is that of an 18 year-old hip-hop activist kickin' it in a phat loft in San Diego's gas lamp district. Playa in da house!!! wutwut)

saxitoxin wrote:

targetman377 wrote:

saxitoxin wrote:AHHHH!

Gang, the intent of this question was not to come up with the most creative way to copulate while remaining technically compliant with the rules. You all need to be castrated.

hey is that not the point of all your threads sax?

Cause you keep me laughing.

My thread was, once again, threadjacked by AOG and all his no-good friends and their overactive testosterone. I want AOG and all those kids OFF MY LAWN. I'm gonna make a suggestion in the suggestions forum for a Seniors board here in The Club just for those of us 70 and over.*

* We'll let Woodruff in, though, because he has the attitude of a crotchety 80 year-old even if his body is a bit younger. (In contrast to ol' Sax here. I'm a 73 year old man living in a gated community in Santa Barbara but my mind is that of an 18 year-old hip-hop activist kickin' it in a phat loft in San Diego's gas lamp district. Playa in da house!!! wutwut)