Tabby Sal Gets Jury Duty

[saxitoxin]

A cat named Tabby Sal has been ordered for jury duty by the Suffolk Superior Crown Court in Boston, Massachusetts.

Sal's owner has appealed to the court to excuse Sal from jury duty on the grounds Sal is not a human being and has severely limited understanding of the English language. Sal's owner even produced a note from a physician confirming that, in his medical opinion, Sal is not a human being.

The court says these facts don't excuse Sal from jury duty and potential jurors "are not expected to have perfect understanding of English." He is to report to court this month for assignment.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstop ... rvice.html

[jimboston]

Apparently you don't fully understand the policies and process for Jury selection in my fair state.

Sal is clearly qualified for the following reasons;
1) He does not hold a full time job.
2) He cannot speak English and his comprehension is limited.
3) He lives off the welfare of others.

There are a few marks against him.... but the three items mentioned above trump any negatives.

[MeDeFe]

It's not April yet, could this actually be legit?

[Army of GOD]

I like where this is going...

[TA1LGUNN3R]

Where's the "No--he may distract the other jurors by causing tiny scratches" option?

-TG

[saxitoxin]

Tabby Sal better take this seriously and stop playing around. If Tabby Sal fails to appear for jury duty he may receive a delinquency notice from the Office of Jury Commissioner for The Commonwealth.

If he fails to respond to the delinquency notice he will be fined $2,000. I highly doubt that, in this economy, someone such as a cat - who is unable to read or write and has no formal schooling - will have many opportunities to get a job that will allow him to pay that fine. Then what will he do? TAKE CARE OF YOUR OBLIGATIONS, SAL.

[saxitoxin]

Should cats be allowed to serve in the military? Dogs are permitted (http://www.lackland.af.mil/units/341stmwd/index.asp), but not cats. Is it discrimination to not allow cats?

What if someone tried to enlist their cat but just didn't tell anyone it was a cat and nobody asked? Would that be okay?

I might be okay with this provided they were restricted to serving in Support and Combat Support MOS' only. Cats don't have the upper body strength or discipline to serve in Combat MOS', IMO. I am not trying to discriminate against cats. However, we had a cat in my ROTC unit last year and it never came to flag duty, FTX or, actually, anything at all except ONE PT session and it just laid there the whole time. I'm not saying all cats are like that, that was just my experience with a cat.

[Army of GOD]

saxi, cats work behind the lines of combat as spies.

[BigBallinStalin]

Should cats be allowed to serve in the military? Dogs are permitted (http://www.lackland.af.mil/units/341stmwd/index.asp), but not cats. Is it discrimination to not allow cats?

What if someone tried to enlist their cat but just didn't tell anyone it was a cat and nobody asked? Would that be okay?

I might be okay with this provided they were restricted to serving in Support and Combat Support MOS' only. Cats don't have the upper body strength or discipline to serve in Combat MOS', IMO. I am not trying to discriminate against cats. However, we had a cat in my ROTC unit last year and it never came to flag duty, FTX or, actually, anything at all except ONE PT session and it just laid there the whole time. I'm not saying all cats are like that, that was just my experience with a cat.

No, you're just wrong.

[saxitoxin]

In the same county in which Sal was summoned for jury duty, 9 year-old Jacob has now been summoned for jury duty.

Jacob says he likes to ride his bike and play XBox. Based on Jake's appearance it looks like he enjoys the latter a bit more than the former.

http://www.cnn.com/video/?hpt=hp_mid#/v ... y-duty.cnn

Would you be okay being tried by a jury composed of 6 cats and 6 nine year-olds? It could work, but there are also drawbacks. I don't know. Definitely something about which to think. A lot of important issues being raised here.

[BigBallinStalin]

The more important question is this:

What is saxitoxin's political promise regarding this issue?

[shieldgenerator7]

lshicastr! this is hilarious!

How the hay is a cat supposed to do jury duty? "Raise your paw for guilty, meow for innocent"

6 nine year olds and 6 cats... hmmm I think I'd have a fair chance of being innocent

-SG7 ( )

[maxfaraday]

I'm not sure about that...

It should be allowed to be in the jury ONLY if the accused is not a rival cat, a dog, a gold fish or a bird.

[maxfaraday]

I think I like the idea; I've ha cats and dogs ever since I was born, I know how to talk to them...
With only cats and/or dogs in a jury, I'm pretty sure I could get away with everything.