Conquer Club

Has anybody in here given a child up for adoption? Would you be willing to tell your story? I'm interested in some insight into the process.

bedub1 wrote:Has anybody in here given a child up for adoption? Would you be willing to tell your story? I'm interested in some insight into the process.

Probably not what you're looking for, but I taught a lot of kids who'd lost their parents and lived in orphanages, and a fair number who were adopted/cared for. I don't think you'll get much feedback on your specific question, but I'm not sure what you're getting at.

bedub1 wrote:Has anybody in here given a child up for adoption? Would you be willing to tell your story? I'm interested in some insight into the process.

Yes, though I didn't go through the typical channels. In the '80's I just put The Bison King in a wicker basket and left him in the Cuyahoga River. It wasn't necessarily "by the book" but things worked out for the best.

(Actually, now that I think about it, that may have been the official adoption procedure in Ohio at the time.)

saxitoxin wrote:

bedub1 wrote:Has anybody in here given a child up for adoption? Would you be willing to tell your story? I'm interested in some insight into the process.

Yes, though I didn't go through the typical channels. In the '80's I just put The Bison King in a wicker basket and left him in the Cuyahoga River. It wasn't necessarily "by the book" but things worked out for the best.

(Actually, now that I think about it, that may have been the official adoption procedure in Ohio at the time.)

Well I was going to mention mine but you one upped me once again.

My hooker gf needed a kidney and I had a babe and traded for one in Bolivia.

Its true if you believe in it enough Jerry.




Seriously man.. is this here to prove a point of some sort or to get info? Because if its the latter I googled and found about 15 legitimate discussion groups.

This is a serious topic that probably needs less exposure from people htat have no clue and more exposure by people that are like minded in thought and past deed.

Good luck with you whatever your intentions are.

Symmetry wrote:Probably not what you're looking for, but I taught a lot of kids who'd lost their parents...

Jesus. Those poor kids couldn't catch a break.

bedub1 wrote:Has anybody in here given a child up for adoption? Would you be willing to tell your story? I'm interested in some insight into the process.

not many kids in australia are put up for adoption. up until the mid 70's most were stolen but past off as adopted.

I am looking for personal experiences about how the process and decision making went. I should probably look for those 15 legitimate discussion groups as if anybody posted in here, other people would probably flame and belittle them for their choices and actions.

I'm curious about why the people chose adoption over other alternatives, how they feel about their choices years later, if they could do it all over again would they make the same choices etc.

bedub1 wrote:I am looking for personal experiences about how the process and decision making went. I should probably look for those 15 legitimate discussion groups as if anybody posted in here, other people would probably flame and belittle them for their choices and actions.

I'm curious about why the people chose adoption over other alternatives, how they feel about their choices years later, if they could do it all over again would they make the same choices etc.

While our Off Topics forum is great for a lot of discussion, I am not sure you'll find a lot of people willing to go into such a story in our forums. If you are really interested, it might be best to go to something that has specialty, like: http://forums.adoption.com/


--Andy

I don't see why anyone would get flamed for giving up a child for adoption. I can't think that it would have been an easy decision.
My friend was adopted. He had contracted polio and his parents couldn't take care of him. I don't know how they felt after or how they coped, but he turned out great. He has a family of his own and he doesn't have any resentment for his parents as they couldn't have done anything better for him.

I've adopted a child. We know the birth mother. She was a kind of wild child who was a friend of my niece and ended up staying with us for several stretches of time. The third and last included her pregnancy and the first month or two of the child's life. At nine months, DCF took the child away and everyone (DCF, the mother, etc) wanted us to take her in. At 18 months we received her as a foster child, and when it became clear that parental rights were going to be terminated, everyone asked us to adopt her.

That point came earlier for the people at DCF than the birth mother. She continued to fight to keep parental rights after even her lawyer told her she would do better signing away the rights in return for an open adoption with visiting rights, than to fight, inevitably lose, and get nothing. We were tempted to encourage her to fight, knowing that would make it easier for us than having to accommodate to the wishes of a somewhat clueless girl, but in the end we were convinced the right thing to do was to help her lawyer convince her of the truth and let the consequences be as they might. She finally relented and we have an open adoption. It took about another 2 years for all the paperwork to go through and I, my wife and other two daughters all put our hands on the handle of the notary's stamp in the judge's office to punch it down and finalize the adoption.

When we still lived in the States, near the birth-mother, she had weekly supervised visits. When we moved to PR that was obviously no longer possible, but they stay in touch, and this past summer the girl, 12 years old by then, spent a month with her.

I don't know if that answers any of your questions. Anything else you want to know?

I was looking for stories/information from the perspective of the mother/father of the child giving it up for adoption. Such as when did they decide to offer the child up for adoption; before or after it's (his/her...whatever) birth, how they felt about the decision then, how they felt about it later, how they felt about it years later. Did they have other kids later? Did they already have kids? How did the adoption process work for them etc etc etc.