Conquer Club

lol....for your reading pleasure ;o)


The Atheist…

An atheist seated next to a pretty young lady on an airplane turned to ask her, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

The young lady, who had just started to read a book, replied to the total stranger, "What would you want to talk about?"

“Oh, I don't know," said the atheist. "How about why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death?" as he smiled smugly.

She thought a few moments and said, "Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first”, to which he agreed….

“A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?"

The atheist, visibly surprised by the question, thinks about it and admits, "I have no idea."

The young lady then replied abruptly, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death, when you don't know shit?"

Then she went back to reading her book...

Wow.

1. What makes the [pretty] [young] lady qualified to talk about god, heaven and hell, life after death?

2. Why is the lady pretty? Young? Why does the athiest smile smugly after suggesting conversation topics to a total stranger? Why does she respond abruptly to the statement "I have no idea"? Why does he have to agree to let her ask him a question first about shit? Why can't she just say "let me ask you a question" first, and then have her ask him the question? Or in other words, whoever the f*ck wrote this quick joke about shit is an idiot. The aspiring writer/shit stirrer should f*ck off back to their corner and tuck in to their shit sandwich alone. Somebody should make them aware, so that the next time they get a hankering to spread their shit amongst the rest of us, they'll know ahead of time, that when you mix clownish theology with deer pellets, cow patties, and horse clumps, you get shit jokes.

Aradhus wrote:Wow.

1. What makes the [pretty] [young] lady qualified to talk about god, heaven and hell, life after death?

2. Why is the lady pretty? Young? Why does the athiest smile smugly after suggesting conversation topics to a total stranger? Why does she respond abruptly to the statement "I have no idea"? Why does he have to agree to let her ask him a question first about shit? Why can't she just say "let me ask you a question" first, and then have her ask him the question? Or in other words, whoever the f*ck wrote this quick joke about shit is an idiot. The aspiring writer/shit stirrer should f*ck off back to their corner and tuck in to their shit sandwich alone. Somebody should make them aware, so that the next time they get a hankering to spread their shit amongst the rest of us, they'll know ahead of time, that when you mix clownish theology with deer pellets, cow patties, and horse clumps, you get shit jokes.

HOW DARE THE JOKE WRITER USE STEREOTYPES THAT ARE ONLY 90% ACCURATE!

those don't describe me!

let's go back to criticizing christianity because of pedophile priests and hardcore evangelists!

john9blue wrote:

Aradhus wrote:Wow.

1. What makes the [pretty] [young] lady qualified to talk about god, heaven and hell, life after death?

2. Why is the lady pretty? Young? Why does the athiest smile smugly after suggesting conversation topics to a total stranger? Why does she respond abruptly to the statement "I have no idea"? Why does he have to agree to let her ask him a question first about shit? Why can't she just say "let me ask you a question" first, and then have her ask him the question? Or in other words, whoever the f*ck wrote this quick joke about shit is an idiot. The aspiring writer/shit stirrer should f*ck off back to their corner and tuck in to their shit sandwich alone. Somebody should make them aware, so that the next time they get a hankering to spread their shit amongst the rest of us, they'll know ahead of time, that when you mix clownish theology with deer pellets, cow patties, and horse clumps, you get shit jokes.

HOW DARE THE JOKE WRITER USE STEREOTYPES THAT ARE ONLY 90% ACCURATE!

those don't describe me!

let's go back to criticizing christianity because of pedophile priests and hardcore evangelists!

I criticized the joke because it isn't funny and it's written so bizarrely. I have no idea what the f*ck you're talking about but it has zero connection to what I wrote so I have no idea why you quoted it.

Agnostics: 45 thousand
Everyone else: 0

Aradhus wrote:Wow.

1. What makes the [pretty] [young] lady qualified to talk about god, heaven and hell, life after death?

2. Why is the lady pretty? Young? Why does the athiest smile smugly after suggesting conversation topics to a total stranger? Why does she respond abruptly to the statement "I have no idea"? Why does he have to agree to let her ask him a question first about shit? Why can't she just say "let me ask you a question" first, and then have her ask him the question? Or in other words, whoever the f*ck wrote this quick joke about shit is an idiot. The aspiring writer/shit stirrer should f*ck off back to their corner and tuck in to their shit sandwich alone. Somebody should make them aware, so that the next time they get a hankering to spread their shit amongst the rest of us, they'll know ahead of time, that when you mix clownish theology with deer pellets, cow patties, and horse clumps, you get shit jokes.

+1

Also, since when do you have to be qualified on a subject before you are allowed to talk about it? Also also, since when does lack of knowledge on one subject mean that you have a lack of knowledge on another which is rather unrelated?

The guy was just looking for an interesting conversation, she was just being a douche.

I don't know about transistor color codes, therefore I am unqualified to talk about pecan pie.

pmchugh wrote:

Aradhus wrote:Wow.

1. What makes the [pretty] [young] lady qualified to talk about god, heaven and hell, life after death?

2. Why is the lady pretty? Young? Why does the athiest smile smugly after suggesting conversation topics to a total stranger? Why does she respond abruptly to the statement "I have no idea"? Why does he have to agree to let her ask him a question first about shit? Why can't she just say "let me ask you a question" first, and then have her ask him the question? Or in other words, whoever the f*ck wrote this quick joke about shit is an idiot. The aspiring writer/shit stirrer should f*ck off back to their corner and tuck in to their shit sandwich alone. Somebody should make them aware, so that the next time they get a hankering to spread their shit amongst the rest of us, they'll know ahead of time, that when you mix clownish theology with deer pellets, cow patties, and horse clumps, you get shit jokes.

+1

Also, since when do you have to be qualified on a subject before you are allowed to talk about it? Also also, since when does lack of knowledge on one subject mean that you have a lack of knowledge on another which is rather unrelated?

The guy was just looking for an interesting conversation, she was just being a douche.

The way he presented the conversation was pretty arrogant. "want to discuss why there's no god...?"

Imagine you, as an atheist, were sitting there and some fundamentalist Christian walked up and wanted to discuss why there's a god. I'm sure you wouldn't be like "okay I love talking about the God that does exist!"

also, considering how private religion is to most people, this is an absolutely ridiculous topic to discuss with a complete stranger.

Army of GOD wrote:The way he presented the conversation was pretty arrogant. "want to discuss why there's no god...?"

Imagine you, as an atheist, were sitting there and some fundamentalist Christian walked up and wanted to discuss why there's a god. I'm sure you wouldn't be like "okay I love talking about the God that does exist!"

also, considering how private religion is to most people, this is an absolutely ridiculous topic to discuss with a complete stranger.

He presented his opinion, I would hope he would not be offended if someone disagreed with him. I would not, although I wouldn't open a conversation in that manner. The thing about these conversations is that the people who tend to get offended (in the most part) are the religious people, and I certainly would not be offended by your little scenario.

Judging by your last paragraph you think it is proper not to state your own opinion in case it offends people, I think it is not proper to be offended because someone else has a different opinion from you. Of course the joke is a little ridiculous, people tend not to forgo small talk and jump into serious conversations with strangers they meet on a plane. The story is also written to specifically make the atheist appear arrogant, but we can all see this is meant to be analogous to proper discussions on religion, in which case the exact semantics of what the guy said and how he said it are irrelevant and I suggest you read arads post.

everywhere116 wrote:I don't know about transistor color codes, therefore I am unqualified to talk about pecan pie.

I know transistor colors, so I guess I pecan if you need me to.

I'm atheistic, and I laughed, understanding it was a joke. Appreciate the mechanic, not the crappy context.

You guys are so seribous.

-rd

Was that a joke?

What do you expect - christians can't tell jokes. It's probably because they have no sense of humour.

Army of GOD wrote:

pmchugh wrote:

Aradhus wrote:Wow.

1. What makes the [pretty] [young] lady qualified to talk about god, heaven and hell, life after death?

2. Why is the lady pretty? Young? Why does the athiest smile smugly after suggesting conversation topics to a total stranger? Why does she respond abruptly to the statement "I have no idea"? Why does he have to agree to let her ask him a question first about shit? Why can't she just say "let me ask you a question" first, and then have her ask him the question? Or in other words, whoever the f*ck wrote this quick joke about shit is an idiot. The aspiring writer/shit stirrer should f*ck off back to their corner and tuck in to their shit sandwich alone. Somebody should make them aware, so that the next time they get a hankering to spread their shit amongst the rest of us, they'll know ahead of time, that when you mix clownish theology with deer pellets, cow patties, and horse clumps, you get shit jokes.

+1

Also, since when do you have to be qualified on a subject before you are allowed to talk about it? Also also, since when does lack of knowledge on one subject mean that you have a lack of knowledge on another which is rather unrelated?

The guy was just looking for an interesting conversation, she was just being a douche.

The way he presented the conversation was pretty arrogant. "want to discuss why there's no god...?"

Imagine you, as an atheist, were sitting there and some fundamentalist Christian walked up and wanted to discuss why there's a god. I'm sure you wouldn't be like "okay I love talking about the God that does exist!"

also, considering how private religion is to most people, this is an absolutely ridiculous topic to discuss with a complete stranger.

It's all common to the genre.

See, this is just another story featuring that boogeyman straw-atheist that christians so love to beat up in their chain letters and emails.

There's tons of these kinds of stories around. Most of them don't attempt to be funny though, which makes this one extra shitty, because the author clearly thinks this qualifies as humour. Most of these stories are about some arrogant atheist college professor, who is presented as basically the antichrist... the atheists are always presented as rude, obnoxious, downright evil people who bully the poor, oppressed christians, until one brave christian who I guess has some Extra Jesus in him/her stands up to the evil atheist.

There's actually a good article on snopes about the phenomenon:

http://www.snopes.com/religion/einstein.asp

I know why cow poop, horse poop, and deer poop are different. Therefore, there is no god.

Excuse me, excuse me... yes. I do believe that in your joke you made a comment about caveman's use of fire during the Pleistocene Era, which you used to great effect with a humorous comment about setting fire to 'plasticine'. Unfortunately, ahem, you were actually mistaken. Had you checked your facts you would have known that fire was discovered during the Paleolithic Era, which unfortunately for you, ahem, is distinctly different and is in fact a wholly different Era *chortle*. I would like you to know that for this reason I withheld my laughter following that particular, erm, 'joke'.

The question is why would he suggest that conversation? That conversation would put the PRETTY young lady to think, we don't want women thinking, we want them either drunk or stupid.

Perhaps he was gay.

Neither of them probably understand airplanes.

They shouldn't ride on things they don't understand.

<insert dirty joke here>


--Andy

AndyDufresne wrote:<insert dirty joke here>

I thought of three in about 10 seconds. Is this normal?

MeDeFe wrote:

AndyDufresne wrote:<insert dirty joke here>

I thought of three in about 10 seconds. Is this normal?

Only three?

You're definitely abnormal.

She was probably just PMSing or something anyway

wait so who is this supposed to remind us of ?

john9blue wrote:

Aradhus wrote:Wow.

1. What makes the [pretty] [young] lady qualified to talk about god, heaven and hell, life after death?

2. Why is the lady pretty? Young? Why does the athiest smile smugly after suggesting conversation topics to a total stranger? Why does she respond abruptly to the statement "I have no idea"? Why does he have to agree to let her ask him a question first about shit? Why can't she just say "let me ask you a question" first, and then have her ask him the question? Or in other words, whoever the f*ck wrote this quick joke about shit is an idiot. The aspiring writer/shit stirrer should f*ck off back to their corner and tuck in to their shit sandwich alone. Somebody should make them aware, so that the next time they get a hankering to spread their shit amongst the rest of us, they'll know ahead of time, that when you mix clownish theology with deer pellets, cow patties, and horse clumps, you get shit jokes.

HOW DARE THE JOKE WRITER USE STEREOTYPES THAT ARE ONLY 90% ACCURATE!

those don't describe me!

let's go back to criticizing christianity because of pedophile priests and hardcore evangelists!

This implies that the bad elements of Christianity are pedophiles and fundamentalists/evangelists and the bad elements of atheism are arrogant cunts who think they know too much.

I am ok with that.

From here, it looks like the joke is on you all.

I lol'd

Strident Atheist wrote:From here, it looks like the joke is on you all.

I lol'd

Get out the closet already scotty.

He should've just take it out, she'd known what to do.