blond jokes

[salr15]

Two Blonde men were in the woods hunting. One looked at the other and said, "I've got to take a crap."

The other said, "Well go behind one of those big trees, and crap."

The first one said, "But I don't have any paper to wipe my ass."

The other blonde replied, "You have a dollar, don't you?"

The first one said, "Yeah, I've got a dollar. That's a great idea-- I'll use that!"

He left and came back with crap all over his hands and clothes.

His friend looked at him and asked, "What in the hell happened to you?"

The first one replied, "Have you ever tried to wipe your ass with 3 quarters, 2 dimes, and a nickel?"

[Cheesemore]

This is kind of long

There was this blonde, brunette, and Red Head all on top of the Empire state Building with their lunches.
The Brunette opens her lunch and finds a Ham sandwich. "Oh man I hate ham!" she says, "If I get it one more time, I'm goanna jump off and kill myself."
The Red Head opens her lunch and finds a turkey sandwich, "Oh man I hate turkey!" She said, "If I get turkey one more time I'll jump off and kill myself."
Then the Blonde opens her lunch and finds a PBJ. "Oh man I hate PBJ!" She said, "If I get it one more time I'll jump off and kill myself."
The next day they go back up the building with lunches, they all have the same lunch and then they jump off and kill themselves
At the funeral, the Brunette's mom says, "I don't get it, I don't get it, I thought she loved Ham."
The Red Head's mom says, "I don't get it, I don't get it, I thought she loved Turkey."
And then the Blonde's mom says, "I don't get it, I don't get it, she packed her own lunch."

[duday53]

Two Blonde men were in the woods hunting. One looked at the other and said, "I've got to take a crap."

The other said, "Well go behind one of those big trees, and crap."

The first one said, "But I don't have any paper to wipe my ass."

The other blonde replied, "You have a dollar, don't you?"

The first one said, "Yeah, I've got a dollar. That's a great idea-- I'll use that!"

He left and came back with crap all over his hands and clothes.

His friend looked at him and asked, "What in the hell happened to you?"

The first one replied, "Have you ever tried to wipe your ass with 3 quarters, 2 dimes, and a nickel?"

this couldnt happen in canada because we dont have one dollar bills

[pancakemix]

Two Blonde men were in the woods hunting. One looked at the other and said, "I've got to take a crap."

The other said, "Well go behind one of those big trees, and crap."

The first one said, "But I don't have any paper to wipe my ass."

The other blonde replied, "You have a dollar, don't you?"

The first one said, "Yeah, I've got a dollar. That's a great idea-- I'll use that!"

He left and came back with crap all over his hands and clothes.

His friend looked at him and asked, "What in the hell happened to you?"

The first one replied, "Have you ever tried to wipe your ass with 3 quarters, 2 dimes, and a nickel?"

this couldnt happen in canada because we dont have one dollar bills

Sucks to be you! jk.

[Huckleberryhound]

Not a blonde joke, but i thought i'd post this anyway.


Larry was visited by God one day, and god said to him "Larry you have been a good man, but i fear that you will not get into the house of god when you die, your hedonistic ways will stop you entering the kingdom of heaven"

"What can i do ?" asked Larry.

"Give up smoking, drinking and sex. That is the path to my Kingdom, my son. I will be back in a month to see how you get on"

A month later, God returned to visit Larry, and asked him "How have you done my son" ?


"I've managed to give up smoking and drinking my lord"

"What about the Sex?"

"Well my lord, i was doing fine, until one day i saw my girl bent over a freezer wiggling as she looked for stuff, and to be honest Lord, i couldn't help myself".


"They won't be happy about that here in Heaven Larry "


"They weren't too pleased with it at the 7-11 either Lord"

[wiggybowler]

Why was there lipstick on the steering wheel?

Because the blonde was trying to blow her horn.

[Jamie]

What's the difference between a blonde, and a slut???





Don't know? Neither do I

[jay_a2j]

Ten blonds and a brunette are hanging on a rope, dangling off of a cliff. The rope starts to break from the weight of all the women. The brunette says, "Hey girls, I'm going to sacrifice myself and allow the rest of you to live by letting go of the rope!"


The 10 blonds admiring the brunette for her concern for others started clapping.

[jay_a2j]

What do you call a brunette standing between two blonds?





























An interpreter.

[lduke1990]

a smart blonde, a dumb blonde and santa clause are walking down the street. There is a 100 dollar bill on the ground, who picks it up?











No one, santa is too fat, the dumb blonde doesn't realize it is there, and there is no such thing as a smart blonde

[freezie]

My girlfriend is blonde....


And she's smarter than any other of my friends...




--nope, no jokes.--

[Genghis Khant]

She's probably an aeroplane blonde

[lduke1990]

dirty blonde doesn't count, unless she is a dirty girl... no offense, it had to be said.