Conquer Club

My dad never taught me.


(ps I do know how to shave ofc, we're inbred sheep shaggers, but we're not that inbread!)

Buy one of those multi-headed electric raisers they make specifically for trimming beards, what do they call them?

Oh yeah, beard trimmers.

notyou2 wrote:Buy one of those multi-headed electric raisers they make specifically for trimming beards, what do they call them?

Oh yeah, beard trimmers.

Is that the only way to do it, or is there a cheap and cheerful version?

Lootifer wrote:My dad never taught me.

(ps I do know how to shave ofc, we're inbred sheep shaggers, but we're not that inbread!)

I don't. I just let 'er grow. And it has that wild-man, growing-in-all-directions look, too. My cadets find it funny as hell. I do the neck-beard thing too. Cause I'm a lazy arse.

My wife says she won't allow it, but I see a ZZ Top in my future, once I retire from teaching.

Hahaha, f*ck yeah.

Trim, cut and shave whatever parts you want. Perhaps carve a swastika in your cheek.

So the options are:

- Buy a electric gadget that has a trimming function
or
- Be anally retentive with a pair of tiny little scissors

??

Yes.

Maybe Uncle Saxi will lend you his ear, nose and eyebrow hair trimmer.

Ok this thread was a bit of a ruse; basically I wanted to rationalise my judgement of hipster wankers with groomed beards. If it was something easy or cheap I wouldnt really have a leg to stand on, but alas, I am now comfortable with my assessment that the hipster wankers are in fact hipster wankers.

Using an electric beard trimmer once or twice a week is a lot faster than shaving every day. For shaving the choice is an electric gadget or being anally retentive with a sharp object.

As for letting it grow...

Nah.

Ask Tom Cruise how he convinced Katie Holmes to sign on for the five years.

Lootifer wrote:So the options are:

- Buy a electric gadget that has a trimming function
or
- Be anally retentive with a pair of tiny little scissors

??

Most shavers that I've seen have a beard trimmer attachment, so I don't understand your problem. Next time your shaver burns out, make sure you buy one with the attachment.

As for tiny scissors, no. I use big-assed utility scissors for the rough work. Then I just use the beard attachment on the shaver to even out the areas where I got it just a little too uneven with the scissors.

Surely you can easily lay your hands on some electric sheep shears? They'll do in a pinch, or if you are Kiwi.

notyou2 wrote:Maybe Uncle Saxi will lend you his ear, nose and eyebrow hair trimmer.

Sure, Lootifer, you can borrow it. (Just fair warning, though, I use it to shave my sack.)

Butt, you wash it after....right?

notyou2 wrote:Butt, you wash it after....right?

Stop being such a prude, it's not like Lootifer is going to put it inside his mouth.

You guys obviously dont know your typical kiwi bloke stereotypes very well...

As is is fine Saxi my man, if its good enough to trim downstairs I might give it a whirl as well; surprise the wife with a bit o naked grape action.

I use small scissors and a razor.

notyou2 wrote:Butt, you wash it after....right?

Everyone washes their sack after they shave it - too itchy otherwise. What's your point?

Scissors and a comb is all I use.

jonesthecurl wrote:

notyou2 wrote:Butt, you wash it after....right?

Everyone washes their sack after they shave it - too itchy otherwise. What's your point?

I don't think Saxi was referring to That sack, I believe he was referring to the sack under his chin, commonly known as waddle.

I have video.

jonesthecurl wrote:

notyou2 wrote:Butt, you wash it after....right?

Everyone washes their sack after they shave it - too itchy otherwise. What's your point?

I don't. I gotta keep it itchy to keep me alert and on edge all through the day.

Woodruff wrote:I don't. I just let 'er grow.

Nice try.