Conquer Club

(by request)



The annual Conquer Club awards banquet just finished at the Tempe TGI Friday's. You had one too many Friday's Fresh Watermelon Mojitos and need a ride back to the apartment in Glendale you share with nietzsche (ever since he got kicked-out of the Conquer Club house in San Diego for pissing on john9blue's futon) since AoG - who was going to bring you back - already peeled-out of the parking lot in his Mini Cooper with two piccolo players from the ASU Marching Band who picked him up (literally). However, as mentioned, you've had too much to drink and can't tell who is sober enough to drive you home. King Achilles, who organized the banquet, didn't bother to appoint any designated drivers out of fear of multis.

Pick three Conquer Club members whom you'd be most likely to trust.

I can't drive, although I have learners permits in the US and the UK. I think that rules me out. Unless there's a sober licence holder in the car too.

I'm quite good at getting people home by taxi, bus, or train though after they've had a bit too much. Carrying is occasionally an option.

I see what you did there, saxi.
*feels around on the ground for the tripwire*

I actuall loled at the BBS option... Maybe if you were contemplating suicide but didn't have the guts to do it?

I picked Andy because if there is a teetotaler in the bunch, its him.

I voted. Greecepwns, night strike and sym.

Greece as I suspect he's bellow drinking age. Night strike as I figure he's so law and ordery he wouldn't drink and drive. sym because of his resonable response.

I'd have Symmetry drive me home in his train/bus.

I'd rent a passenger van for Optomus Prime to drive. Then everyone gets home safe.

I can't help but feel like these polls are some sort of circle jerk popularity contest

Nightstrike - he doesn't drink

xeno - he's underage and the Tempe Chili's does a good job at keeping underage people from drinking

tkr4lf - have you ever driven while stoned? I have and I think it's the most cautious I've ever driven.

*L* aww, you left me out of this one... which is funny because I'm ALWAYS the DD for the military guys I hang out with (I drink extremely rarely, and never anywhere but at home)

xeno wrote:I can't help but feel like these polls are some sort of circle jerk popularity contest

Maybe. I don't know why I was deleted from this one. Any time I've piled up one of Saxi's cars I was sober. You can't even blame me for the one in the pool.

xeno wrote:I can't help but feel like these polls are some sort of circle jerk popularity contest

You ate the biscuit in the last one.

fadedpsychosis wrote:I'm ALWAYS the DD for the military guys I hang out with

My girlfriend, Esmerelda, is the same way during Fleet Week. (we have an open relationship)

xeno wrote:I can't help but feel like these polls are some sort of circle jerk popularity contest

*taps side of nose*

Funkyterrance wrote:

xeno wrote:I can't help but feel like these polls are some sort of circle jerk popularity contest

*taps side of nose*

Funky, to pick your nose, your finger is supposed to go inside the nostril. Silly.


--Andy

saxitoxin wrote:

xeno wrote:I can't help but feel like these polls are some sort of circle jerk popularity contest

You ate the biscuit in the last one.

fadedpsychosis wrote:I'm ALWAYS the DD for the military guys I hang out with

My girlfriend, Esmerelda, is the same way during Fleet Week. (we have an open relationship)

Oh my...
Two-for-one-filthy-slam-dunk day at saxi's place?

AndyDufresne wrote:

Funkyterrance wrote:

xeno wrote:I can't help but feel like these polls are some sort of circle jerk popularity contest

*taps side of nose*

Funky, to pick your nose, your finger is supposed to go inside the nostril. Silly.


--Andy

Not if you're consulting the catalog of your plastic surgeon. It would poke a hole in the page.

Clearly nag, timminz and tkr.

AndyDufresne wrote:

Funkyterrance wrote:

xeno wrote:I can't help but feel like these polls are some sort of circle jerk popularity contest

*taps side of nose*

Funky, to pick your nose, your finger is supposed to go inside the nostril. Silly.


--Andy

Yes, I realized I was opening myself up to a plethora of booger jokes but went ahead anyway.
*Gives Andy a noogie josh-fully*

I don't know enough to know who doesn't drink. I'm going to vote Night Strike, Andy, and Woodruff because I feel like they are the most responsible and would take the driving TGD home thing seriously.

Haggis_McMutton wrote:Clearly nag, timminz and tkr.

I'd be a great choice, except that I would probably have had a few, and I refuse to drive in that kind of condition. I wouldn't even have brought my car.

Then again, if I did have my car, I would be an excellent choice because I would have remained sober, and could provide a very safe and comfortable ride home in my luxury sedan. I wouldn't even try any funny stuff either. My back seat is too full of CD's and advanced corporate accounting text books for it to be usable in that manner, anyway.

Look man. I've been drinking. Who's got an empty back seat for funny stuff?

Just so there's no ambiguity, the piccolo players are girls and neither are named Esteban or are saxi's nephew.

Nagerous, Timminz, and Neitze.

I don't care as much about getting home safely as I care about for sure being the one who gets laid...

Timminz wrote:

Haggis_McMutton wrote:Clearly nag, timminz and tkr.

I'd be a great choice, except that I would probably have had a few, and I refuse to drive in that kind of condition. I wouldn't even have brought my car.

Then again, if I did have my car, I would be an excellent choice because I would have remained sober, and could provide a very safe and comfortable ride home in my luxury sedan. I wouldn't even try any funny stuff either. My back seat is too full of CD's and advanced corporate accounting text books for it to be usable in that manner, anyway.

A car back seat full of advanced corporate accounting text books is, I'm guessing, your euphemism for a seedy crime lab.

Symmetry wrote:

Timminz wrote:

Haggis_McMutton wrote:Clearly nag, timminz and tkr.

I'd be a great choice, except that I would probably have had a few, and I refuse to drive in that kind of condition. I wouldn't even have brought my car.

Then again, if I did have my car, I would be an excellent choice because I would have remained sober, and could provide a very safe and comfortable ride home in my luxury sedan. I wouldn't even try any funny stuff either. My back seat is too full of CD's and advanced corporate accounting text books for it to be usable in that manner, anyway.

A car back seat full of advanced corporate accounting text books is, I'm guessing, your euphemism for a seedy crime lab.

No, I was being completely literal, except for "back seat". That was a euphemism.

Phatscotty wrote:Nagerous, Timminz, and Neitze.

I don't care as much about getting home safely as I care about for sure being the one who gets laid...

...and if there was ever a group of people who could give the advice and support needed to help ensure you finally get laid, it would be those three posters.

Timminz wrote:

Phatscotty wrote:Nagerous, Timminz, and Neitze.

I don't care as much about getting home safely as I care about for sure being the one who gets laid...

...and if there was ever a group of people who could give the advice and support needed to help ensure you finally get laid, it would be those three posters.

Wrong