Conquer Club

Two empty suits walk out on stage.

A U.S. Presidential debate breaks out.

Do the jokes have to be political?

Einstein, Newton and Pascal decide to play hide and seek. Einstein is it, closes his eyes, counts to 10 then opens them.

Pascal is no where to be seen.

Newton is sitting right in front of Einstein, with a piece of chalk in his hand. He's sitting in a box drawn on the ground, a meter to a side.

Einstein says "Newton, you're terrible, I've found you!"

Newton says "No no, Einy. You've found one Newton per square meter. You've found Pascal!"

better?

Thanks, I needed that.

Mr_Adams wrote:Einstein, Newton and Pascal decide to play hide and seek. Einstein is it, closes his eyes, counts to 10 then opens them.

Pascal is no where to be seen.

Newton is sitting right in front of Einstein, with a piece of chalk in his hand. He's sitting in a box drawn on the ground, a meter to a side.

Einstein says "Newton, you're terrible, I've found you!"

Newton says "No no, Einy. You've found one Newton per square meter. You've found Pascal!"

lol

Wait, but when did this happened? Wasn't Newton dead when Einstein lived?

Shut up, Niet.

nietzsche wrote:lol

Wait, but when did this happened? Wasn't Newton dead when Einstein lived?

^ this made me laugh more than the joke itself

john9blue wrote:

nietzsche wrote:lol

Wait, but when did this happened? Wasn't Newton dead when Einstein lived?

^ this made me laugh more than the joke itself

Why?

Funkyterrance wrote:

john9blue wrote:

nietzsche wrote:lol

Wait, but when did this happened? Wasn't Newton dead when Einstein lived?

^ this made me laugh more than the joke itself

Why?

Just one of those moments.

A Mathematician, a Biologist and a Physicist are sitting in a street cafe watching people going in and coming out of the house on the other side of the street.

First they see two people going into the house. Time passes. After a while they notice three persons coming out of the house.


The Physicist: "The measurement wasn't accurate".
The Biologist's conclusion: "They have reproduced".
The Mathematician: "If now exactly 1 person enters the house then it will be empty again".

ManBungalow wrote:A Mathematician, a Biologist and a Physicist are sitting in a street cafe watching people going in and coming out of the house on the other side of the street.

First they see two people going into the house. Time passes. After a while they notice three persons coming out of the house.


The Physicist: "The measurement wasn't accurate".
The Biologist's conclusion: "They have reproduced".
The Mathematician: "If now exactly 1 person enters the house then it will be empty again".

*LOL* last line illustrates my frustration with people who only look at the numbers and not what they're supposed to represent

Ok, mines a dirty joke so close your eyes those of you who are sensitive to this sort of thing:





Three white horses fell in the mud.

Jesus sits at a poker table.
The dealer says- "Ante Christ".