Conquer Club

Posted: **Sun Mar 23, 2014 9:40 pm**

1. Chris Ponds (proprietor: ChrisPond)- We sell ponds and other water features, waterfall, fountains, and beautiful landscapes.

2. space reserved for KoolBak

3.

4. CarBucks (proprietor: aad0906) - We sell luxury cars for just a few bucks.

5. Horse (proprietor: nietzsche) - the finest Mexican escorts

6. Star Trek .gif Emporium (proprietor: AndyDufresne) Animated Star Trek .gifs

7.

8.

a. Plywood and Planks (proprietor: DoomYoshi) - Unfinished Wood Furniture

b.

c.

d. Legless Leggings (proprietor: kentington) - We sell products that make life more comfortable on those hot summer days. You can even wear your
purchases out of the store.

e. Order of People Who Build Things That Work Behind the Scenes to Control the World (proprietor: muy_thaiguy) - Run as politicians and leaders of varying world powers and/or otherwise significant nations that collaborates with each other to help keep the world in balance.

f. Lance's Dance Pants (proprietor: Lance Thrust) - We provide a comfortable, breathable, non-fungus forming, living space for your lower regions...for when ya' just gots ta move!

g.

h. Liberty Lounge (proprietor: Phatscotty) - solutions

i. Working Cultural Revolution (proprietor: mrswdk) - rents out professional-looking people of all races for up to 4 days at a time

j. Honest Al's Altitude Adjustment Emporium (proprietor: notyou2)- All things related to smoking "tobacco".

k. Used Bread (proprietor: BigBallinStalin) - Sells bread that has been partially chewed or harshly poked.

l.

m.

n.

o. Nietzsche's Mustaches (proprietor: Metsfanmax) - fake wigs, moustaches and other accessories for disguising yourself

p. Aladine's Mujaidins (proprietor: betiko) - We sell funny artifacts. Dis is fun bazar!! Come lose yourself in our alleys, go look everywhere! You my friend!

q. The Island (proprietor: Gilligan) - This is the next stop after shopping at "Not A Whorehouse", where you live the situation "Would you rather have a knife, a book or a woman with you on a deserted island?

r. Not a Whorehouse (proprietor: Army of GOD) - Definitely nothing having to do with prostitution.

s. Coffee Hut (proprietor: Baron Von PWN) - We sell high quality electrical appliances.

Posted: **Sun Mar 23, 2014 9:43 pm**

At the present time SaxBucks can only be spent at the Ice Cream Truck. The completion of ConquerMall will provide a new opportunity for recreational spending of SaxBucks, helping to increase the value of the currency. ConquerMall currently has 100% vacancy.

If you are interested in leasing a space at ConquerMall, please fill out the below application:

NAME OF BUSINESS -
WHAT DOES YOUR BUSINESS DO AND/OR SELL? -
WHY IS THERE A NEED FOR THIS GOOD AND/OR SERVICE? -
WILD CARD -

Thank you considering ConquerMall for your business.

Sincerely,
Saxi!
Leasing Manager

Posted: **Sun Mar 23, 2014 9:44 pm**

Terms and conditions?

shit fastposted

Posted: **Sun Mar 23, 2014 9:53 pm**

NAME OF BUSINESS - "Not A Whorehouse"
WHAT DOES YOUR BUSINESS DO AND/OR SELL? - Definitely nothing having to do with prostitution.
WHY IS THERE A NEED FOR THIS GOOD AND/OR SERVICE? - There is a high demand for services from a store that definitely isn't a whorehouse
WILD CARD - Saxi can get 50% off at our place of business, of which is, again, not a whorehouse.

Posted: **Sun Mar 23, 2014 9:54 pm**

Army of GOD wrote:NAME OF BUSINESS - "Not A Whorehouse"
WHAT DOES YOUR BUSINESS DO AND/OR SELL? - Definitely nothing having to do with prostitution.
WHY IS THERE A NEED FOR THIS GOOD AND/OR SERVICE? - There is a high demand for services from a store that definitely isn't a whorehouse
WILD CARD - Saxi can get 50% off at our place of business, of which is, again, not a whorehouse.

application accepted, you get space "R"

Posted: **Sun Mar 23, 2014 9:56 pm**

R?

Are you fucking kidding me? We don't even get our own outside entrance?

I'd rather get raped by a transsexual panda than be in space R.

Posted: **Sun Mar 23, 2014 10:00 pm**

saxitoxin wrote:NAME OF BUSINESS - Planks a Lot!
WHAT DOES YOUR BUSINESS DO AND/OR SELL? - Unfinished Wood Furniture
WHY IS THERE A NEED FOR THIS GOOD AND/OR SERVICE? - Extremely sturdy construction - everything is made of solid hardwoods. However, there is no decorative flourishes or staining so it is still fully customizable.
WILD CARD - On request, we can make furniture out of soft wood, and we can provide finishing - for a price

Posted: **Sun Mar 23, 2014 10:00 pm**

Army of GOD wrote:R?

Are you fucking kidding me? We don't even get our own outside entrance?

I'd rather get raped by a transsexual panda than be in space R.

you're right next to the bathrooms.

Posted: **Sun Mar 23, 2014 10:02 pm**

DoomYoshi wrote:
saxitoxin wrote:NAME OF BUSINESS - Planks a Lot!
WHAT DOES YOUR BUSINESS DO AND/OR SELL? - Unfinished Wood Furniture
WHY IS THERE A NEED FOR THIS GOOD AND/OR SERVICE? - Extremely sturdy construction - everything is made of solid hardwoods. However, there is no decorative flourishes or staining so it is still fully customizable.
WILD CARD - On request, we can make furniture out of soft wood, and we can provide finishing - for a price

I'm going to put you in space "A" next to AoG. That way people can get wood before going to Not a Whorehouse.

Posted: **Sun Mar 23, 2014 10:03 pm**

Nice, right next to the bus stop so people don't have to walk across the mall with their brand-new bunkbeds.

Posted: **Sun Mar 23, 2014 10:06 pm**

Name of Buisiness- Order of People Who Build Things That Work Behind the Scenes to Control the World (we are definitly not the Order of Free Masons descended from the Knights Templar that plot and hatch schemes to rule the world).

What Your Buisiness Does- Run as politicians and leaders of varying world powers and/or otherwise significant nations that collaborates with each other to help keep the world in balance.

Why is there a need for this service?- Because the Order of People Who Build Things has been in buisiness longer than many ruling bodies have, since about the 12 century AD. We have more experience and better quality than any other buisiness does, plenty of financial backing, and are more legitamate than any other group.

Wild Card- We have pie! And the lease manager and first 50 to sign up for our services get free electronic devices that show your geographic location anywhere in the world so you don't get lost and that definitly do not keep tabs on you, your family, and/or friends.

Posted: **Sun Mar 23, 2014 10:07 pm**

muy_thaiguy wrote:Name of Buisiness- Order of People Who Build Things That Work Behind the Scenes to Control the World (we are definitly not the Order of Free Masons descended from the Knights Templar that plot and hatch schemes to rule the world).

What Your Buisiness Does- Run as politicians and leaders of varying world powers and/or otherwise significant nations that collaborates with each other to help keep the world in balance.

Why is there a need for this service?- Because the Order of People Who Build Things has been in buisiness longer than many ruling bodies have, since about the 12 century AD. We have more experience and better quality than any other buisiness does, plenty of financial backing, and are more legitamate than any other group.

Wild Card- We have pie! And the lease manager and first 50 to sign up for our services get free electronic devices that show your geographic location anywhere in the world so you don't get lost and that definitly do not keep tabs on you, your family, and/or friends.

Your application is accepted, however, the Leasing Office is now closed for the night so your space will be assigned later.

Others may continue to put applications here and they will be processed when the Leasing Office reopens. Thank you.

Posted: **Sun Mar 23, 2014 10:58 pm**

NAME OF BUSINESS - CarBucks
WHAT DOES YOUR BUSINESS DO AND/OR SELL? - We sell luxury cars for just a few bucks
WHY IS THERE A NEED FOR THIS GOOD AND/OR SERVICE? - The icecream truck is so damn for away, you need a car to drive over to it. Plus, while you wait, we also have great coffee in our subsidiary on premise premium coffee retail business: BarStucks.
WILD CARD - we are NOT affiliated to the whorehouse called StarSucks!

Posted: **Sun Mar 23, 2014 11:22 pm**

NAME OF BUSINESS - Liberty Lounge
WHAT DOES YOUR BUSINESS DO AND/OR SELL? - Solutions
WHY IS THERE A NEED FOR THIS GOOD AND/OR SERVICE? - To preserve Liberty

WILD CARD -

Posted: **Sun Mar 23, 2014 11:49 pm**

NAME OF BUSINESS - Nietzsche's Mustaches
WHAT DOES YOUR BUSINESS DO AND/OR SELL? - Fake wigs, moustaches and other accessories for disguising yourself
WHY IS THERE A NEED FOR THIS GOOD AND/OR SERVICE? - Mexicans need to be able to get across the border
WILD CARD -

Posted: **Sun Mar 23, 2014 11:57 pm**

NAME OF BUSINESS - Coffee Hut
WHAT DOES YOUR BUSINESS DO AND/OR SELL? - We sell high quality electrical appliances.
WHY IS THERE A NEED FOR THIS GOOD AND/OR SERVICE? -people need stereos, computers, and other electronic dohikery. Coffee hut seeks to satisfy those needs.
WILD CARD - We also serve bubble tea. anyone requesting coffee is asked to leave.

Posted: **Mon Mar 24, 2014 12:07 am**

NAME OF BUSINESS - Malmart
WHAT DOES YOUR BUSINESS DO AND/OR SELL? - Everything that everyone else in the mall sells, except for fifty cents cheaper.
WHY IS THERE A NEED FOR THIS GOOD AND/OR SERVICE? - The "Singular-Stop Shop" (patent pending) for all of your mall needs. Why visit twelve stores when you can just visit one? Only in Malmart will you be greeted by the still-living dead, then shuffle around for half an hour before buying fifty dollars worth of condoms and wood furnishing. Also, it will be the only store still open at 4:15 in the morning.
WILD CARD - A maximum of one registers will ever be open, usually managed by an over-weight black woman by the name of Sha'Wendas: like experiencing the excitement of the ghetto without the threat of being called a "cracker" or being fired upon!

Posted: **Mon Mar 24, 2014 12:44 am**

NAME OF BUSINESS -. Chris Ponds
WHAT DOES YOUR BUSINESS DO AND/OR SELL? - . We sell ponds and other water features, waterfall, fountains, and beautiful landscapes.
WHY IS THERE A NEED FOR THIS GOOD AND/OR SERVICE? - . We have a custom made creation on display at all times. Tables and furniture would be set up for people to sit and relax while the rest of their shopping party spends their time shopping at places like "Not a Whorehouse" or "Mallmart".
[b]WILD CARD - [/]. We would also serve alcohol and encourage women after a few drinks to cool off in the ponds.

We would like a space in the center of the mall, perhaps where their is the most traffic. Not far from the food court would work as well, but definitely some distance from the whorehouse. We have a bit more class than that kind of establishment.

Posted: **Mon Mar 24, 2014 1:01 am**

NAME OF BUSINESS - Used Bread
WHAT DOES YOUR BUSINESS DO AND/OR SELL? - Sells bread that has been partially chewed or harshly poked.
WHY IS THERE A NEED FOR THIS GOOD AND/OR SERVICE? - People love a great deal!
WILD CARD - On the year 1488, President Simjong sent wave after wave into the deep blue. None of them returned.

Posted: **Mon Mar 24, 2014 1:06 am**

NAME OF BUSINESS: Lance's Dance Pants
WHAT DOES YOUR BUSINESS DO AND/OR SELL?: A Wholly owned subsidiary of Lance, Thrust & Parry LLC
WHY IS THERE A NEED FOR THIS GOOD AND/OR SERVICE? - We provide a comfortable, breathable, non-fungus forming, living space for your lower regions...for when ya' just gots ta move!
WILD CARD: Once a day, at High Tea, one lucky customer is chosen at random to participate in a tradition that goes back for...well, at least several years...and that is a chance to sing their own rendition of "I'm too Sexy", while having their trousers filled with as many live kittens as they can hold for the duration of the song. Anyone who makes it to the end of the song with at least 4 kittens still residing in the 80% cotton/20% nylon confines of their trousies, wins a merkin in the color of their choice (embroidery extra).

Posted: **Mon Mar 24, 2014 3:06 am**

NAME OF BUSINESS - Working Cultural Revolution
WHAT DOES YOUR BUSINESS DO AND/OR SELL? - Rents out professional-looking people of all races for up to 4 days at a time
WHY IS THERE A NEED FOR THIS GOOD AND/OR SERVICE? - Companies sometimes need to appear to be international or 'in touch' with a particular region of the globe. We help them achieve this.
WILD CARD
Free Apple-like phone with every purchase

Posted: **Mon Mar 24, 2014 9:01 am**

NAME OF BUSINESS - Star Trek .gif Emporium
WHAT DOES YOUR BUSINESS DO AND/OR SELL? - Animated Star Trek .gifs
WHY IS THERE A NEED FOR THIS GOOD AND/OR SERVICE? - The forum needs more them, and so does the rest of life.
WILD CARD -

--Andy

Posted: **Mon Mar 24, 2014 10:37 am**

AndyDufresne wrote:NAME OF BUSINESS - Star Trek .gif Emporium
WHAT DOES YOUR BUSINESS DO AND/OR SELL? - Animated Star Trek .gifs
WHY IS THERE A NEED FOR THIS GOOD AND/OR SERVICE? - The forum needs more them, and so does the rest of life.
WILD CARD -

--Andy

Does your store also sell WWE gifs?

Posted: **Mon Mar 24, 2014 12:34 pm**

thegreekdog wrote:
AndyDufresne wrote:NAME OF BUSINESS - Star Trek .gif Emporium
WHAT DOES YOUR BUSINESS DO AND/OR SELL? - Animated Star Trek .gifs
WHY IS THERE A NEED FOR THIS GOOD AND/OR SERVICE? - The forum needs more them, and so does the rest of life.
WILD CARD -

--Andy

Does your store also sell WWE gifs?

Probably, I'll have some sort of discount rack for lower tier merchandise.

--Andy

Posted: **Mon Mar 24, 2014 1:18 pm**

AndyDufresne wrote:
thegreekdog wrote:
AndyDufresne wrote:NAME OF BUSINESS - Star Trek .gif Emporium
WHAT DOES YOUR BUSINESS DO AND/OR SELL? - Animated Star Trek .gifs
WHY IS THERE A NEED FOR THIS GOOD AND/OR SERVICE? - The forum needs more them, and so does the rest of life.
WILD CARD -

--Andy

Does your store also sell WWE gifs?

Probably, I'll have some sort of discount rack for lower tier merchandise.

--Andy

WOOOOOODRUFFFFFF!!!! :evil:

Conquer Club

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