Ask armati a question

[mrswdk]

Can you cook Chinese food? Which?

Do you think England will play the All Blacks this November, and if so what do you think will be the key factors that enable England's victory?

[BoganGod]

Can you cook Chinese food? Which?

Do you think England will play the All Blacks this November, and if so what do you think will be the key factors that enable England's victory?

I have two mentors, one is swiss italian(a horrible mix of irrational butt hurt, OCD aspergers, and humourless glumness((am exaggerating a little for effect)), the other chinese(a sardonic, foul mouthed, leech, who makes racist comments about everyone, but only genuinely hates the japanese. Some of his jokes about native mandarin speakers and residents of the capital suggest physically impossible perversions as common place).
My chinese mentor is from Ghongzhou, makes pan chinese cuisine for the round eye tastes. When I'm working for someone else I specialise in seafood, Ghongzhou is noted for seafood. So have learnt a lot about cooking seafood from him. Also know how to make BBQ pork neck, peking duck, roast duck, etc, etc. All useful skills that help me in menu planning and fusion cooking. In particular when I'm at the helm of a hotel with a buffet.
When given the opportunity, I love rocking the wok section in a busy place. 5-7menu items to cook, 300+ covers on a slow night. Someone up to my shoulder screaming at me that I'm a turtle egg who smells like sour milk and have a slut wife because I'm a dud root. Cantonese chefs give the italians a good run for their money when it comes to the personal insults in the workplace race.
........... ok serious question answered............
Now my wee little pudding cup. Is it England we will be playing, the British & Irish Lions, or some other frankenteam drawn from a population pool roughly 13X that of NZ. 16-17X the population if you consider resident population. 15-20% of kiwis living abroad at anytime. If England plays the mighty ABs, the only way for England to win would be
A) Stack your team with our nemesis the frogs
B) Refuse visas, food poison, delay for questioning. Do everything to stop us fielding a full strength squad
C) Have the ABs play the french, Somoa, Tonga, SA, and Georgia in quick succession so we are well and truly all tuckered out.
D) Own the ref
Even with doing all A-D would still take a miracle for the ABs to let the unwashed, cauliflower eared, dogging mad, sister shaggers beat them.

[2dimes]

Making consitantly great sauce from inconsistent tomatoes.

Check out my instagram, have a great little step by step collage on making roast tomato sauce/dressing. Regulating acidity is a key factor in making sauce from tomato. Try to steer clear of adding sugar, this leads to an arms race between sugar and salt. End up with some revolting red tinged liquid that tastes vaguely like pasta sauce from a can in a cheap supermarket. Use things like capsicum(bell peppers to the yanks I think), onion(caramalised), etc to balance things. Be careful using too much carrot or celery as the taste can take over a bit. Investing in a moulex to take out the skin is a worthwhile use for some hard earned.

But.. Will it be one of the things that seperates us from the other apes?

[BoganGod]

Making consitantly great sauce from inconsistent tomatoes.

Check out my instagram, have a great little step by step collage on making roast tomato sauce/dressing. Regulating acidity is a key factor in making sauce from tomato. Try to steer clear of adding sugar, this leads to an arms race between sugar and salt. End up with some revolting red tinged liquid that tastes vaguely like pasta sauce from a can in a cheap supermarket. Use things like capsicum(bell peppers to the yanks I think), onion(caramalised), etc to balance things. Be careful using too much carrot or celery as the taste can take over a bit. Investing in a moulex to take out the skin is a worthwhile use for some hard earned.

But.. Will it be one of the things that seperates us from the other apes?

You seem just a little too invested in separation from other apes. Almost like you have some type of strong attraction that you are trying to rationalise away with the discovery of a big difference.

[2dimes]

Well...

It is not that I desire a separation more I am trying to point it out.

With large kitchen brigades is a delicate balancing act. You can't break people completely because that gives you robots rather than leaders and effective team players.

How do you feel knowing, soon large corporations will be able to manufacture all the Pizza required to meet Ausralias needs?

They can do that already. However no robot can replicate the individual skill and experience of a hand made product. Food will become a high end artisan good in the near future, with being able to afford hand made a sign of wealth and status.

I'm just saying robots might be able to make consistent frozen pizza but it will never be a replacement for an excellent fresh one.

Sure the average person like the Lady eating onion rings in the slim shady video might be redundant but not those with something to offer.

Rise above the crowd.

[mrswdk]

Can you cook Chinese food? Which?

Do you think England will play the All Blacks this November, and if so what do you think will be the key factors that enable England's victory?

I have two mentors, one is swiss italian(a horrible mix of irrational butt hurt, OCD aspergers, and humourless glumness((am exaggerating a little for effect)), the other chinese(a sardonic, foul mouthed, leech, who makes racist comments about everyone, but only genuinely hates the japanese. Some of his jokes about native mandarin speakers and residents of the capital suggest physically impossible perversions as common place).
My chinese mentor is from Ghongzhou, makes pan chinese cuisine for the round eye tastes. When I'm working for someone else I specialise in seafood, Ghongzhou is noted for seafood. So have learnt a lot about cooking seafood from him. Also know how to make BBQ pork neck, peking duck, roast duck, etc, etc. All useful skills that help me in menu planning and fusion cooking. In particular when I'm at the helm of a hotel with a buffet.
When given the opportunity, I love rocking the wok section in a busy place. 5-7menu items to cook, 300+ covers on a slow night. Someone up to my shoulder screaming at me that I'm a turtle egg who smells like sour milk and have a slut wife because I'm a dud root. Cantonese chefs give the italians a good run for their money when it comes to the personal insults in the workplace race.

Ha, turtle egg.

When you serve Peking duck do you start with bits of crispy skin and fat for people to dip in sugar, then the pancakes, then duck soup?

........... ok serious question answered............
Now my wee little pudding cup. Is it England we will be playing, the British & Irish Lions, or some other frankenteam drawn from a population pool roughly 13X that of NZ. 16-17X the population if you consider resident population. 15-20% of kiwis living abroad at anytime. If England plays the mighty ABs, the only way for England to win would be
A) Stack your team with our nemesis the frogs
B) Refuse visas, food poison, delay for questioning. Do everything to stop us fielding a full strength squad
C) Have the ABs play the french, Somoa, Tonga, SA, and Georgia in quick succession so we are well and truly all tuckered out.
D) Own the ref
Even with doing all A-D would still take a miracle for the ABs to let the unwashed, cauliflower eared, dogging mad, sister shaggers beat them.

Funny you mention stalling tactics. Every time England try to arrange a game with the All Blacks, NZ demand some ridiculous fee for playing and effectively torpedo the whole deal.

Sounds like that Pacific Island All Stars are quaking in their booties.

[BoganGod]

<sighs, and prepares to go back to basics>
With food the simpler it is, the more perfect it has to be. A three ingredient dish is easier to stuff up than a 25ingredient dish with a fancy foreign name. No layman will notice if you leave a few ingredients out of the fancy foreign dish. Make something simple like a margarita pizza(the real deal, not some modern retrospective abortion with black rotten basil, and frosty green tomatoes), or bangers and mash. People will recognise quality good and bad. Take short cuts, use convenience products, people will know. It is the simple things that robots will bugger up completely.
My favourite pasta using dried pasta rather than hand made is - Spaghetti al olio. Something which I will only eat if prepared by a literally 4chefs I know including myself. It is such a beautiful dish, and so many people ruin it. This is a brief how to
1. Get salted water to the boil, throw your dried spaghetti in the boiling water
2. In a large fry pan, over a low heat put a lot of olive oil, garlic(chopped not crushed, crushed will burn, not chopped to small it will burn, not chopped too big won't cook properly and infuse that sexy garlic scent into the oil), & fresh or dried chilli, heat up till the garlic starts to smell cooked, but you can't hear sizzle
3. Quickly put the drained, hot spaghetti in the pan and stir.
4. Throw in a large handful of coarsely chopped parsley, and a generous squeeze of good fresh not too sweet lemon.
5. Stir again, season with crushed sea salt flakes, and cracked pepper.
6. Place in a deep bowl, don't worry is supposed to be oily
7. Top with parmesan(the good stuff) if desired. Some fried breadcrumbs are not traditional, but can be a nice addition, toasted walnut pieces can also work.
8. Eat straight away with crusty bread cut thickly to dredge through the left over chilli, garlic, lemon, parsley oil.
9. Adjust belt, bliss out in food coma.

Dish seems easy enough, but so many people can't make it right. Don't time the pasta to be ready at the right moment. Over cook the pasta. Burn the garlic. Don't cook the garlic enough. Use shit olive oil. Use shit parmesan. Use nasty gone to seed parsley. Don't put into a hot bowl to serve. Use bottled lemon pus.

There is an art and skill to writing menus, to use the same ingredient multiple times without appearing to. Placement on a menu affects item sales. Etc

[nietzsche]

next round: 2dimes

GO

[nietzsche]

I'll start:

[2dimes]

That looks like a cat my brother had but left behind when he moved out. Sometimes he bit people. The cat, I don't recall my brother biting anyone. I'm hoping whatever is causing green/yellow phlegm to happen, stops soon.

You?

[nietzsche]

you don't get to ask questions.


another question:

if you could wake up tomorrow in the body of someone for a day, and got to be that person for the whole day, who would it be? and what would you do?

[riskllama]

that cat is ripped on blow.

[TA1LGUNN3R]

Which is your favorite US state, and why is it Oregon?*

*Reason cannot include "because TG and KoolBak live there," that is a given.

-TG

[mrswdk]

In your opinion what is the critical factor that makes China the best country in the world?

[2dimes]

Which is your favorite US state, and why is it Oregon?*

*Reason cannot include "because TG and KoolBak live there," that is a given.

-TG

I'm not convinced I could choose just one.

Tillamook makes my kids happy. I like being near the ocean without being too hot. The Evergreen museum is good. I still quote the guy in Sizzler, "You know how I like my salad!"

Probably Hawaii if I could drive there. Edit: then it would not be Hawaii though.

In your opinion what is the critical factor that makes China the best country in the world?

Bagua Zhang.

[riskllama]

you've been around since nearly forever, what do you know about "thx agane, JP" ?

[2dimes]

if you could wake up tomorrow in the body of someone for a day, and got to be that person for the whole day, who would it be? and what would you do?

I am pretty satisfied currently. I guess I will pick someone with a healthy back and an airplane. I would either go snowboarding, one thing I stopped doing to prevent further injury. Surfing something I can do but because I rarely do I am awful at. Or possibly just spend the day flying.

you've been around since nearly forever, what do you know about "thx agane, JP" ?

I don't know about it. It might have been a Mcgill thing. I was excluded from that game/club. Or is happened when I was away for a while.

[riskllama]

nvm, nietzsche pointed me to it. thx 4 nuthin, JP...

[saxitoxin]

I just have two questions.

1. WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?
2. WHAT GIVES YOU THE RIGHT?

[2dimes]

1. You Know.
2. Suck It

[BoganGod]

Kill, f*ck, Marry - With reasons
Symmetry, Fake Bern, Owen.
........................
Niet, DDS, mrswdk
........................
Saxi, betiko, llama
......................
nb - if you don't select llama to f*ck, you may be on the receiving end of some very off putting messages and come on lines.

[Symmetry]

Kill, f*ck, Marry - With reasons
Symmetry, Fake Bern, Owen.
........................
Niet, DDS, mrswdk
........................
Saxi, betiko, llama
......................
nb - if you don't select llama to f*ck, you may be on the receiving end of some very off putting messages and come on lines.

You seem like a deeply unhappy person.

[2dimes]

Kill, f*ck, Marry - With reasons
Symmetry, Fake Bern, Owen.
........................
Niet, DDS, mrswdk
........................
Saxi, betiko, llama
......................
nb - if you don't select llama to f*ck, you may be on the receiving end of some very off putting messages and come on lines.

Bern, no particular reason, he was just picked last. Symmetry, because if I have to sex a guy at least he can enjoy me for a change. Owen, we can in theory ride bikes.

Niet, put him out of his misery. Mrswdk, same as Symm. DDS, we can in theory get a tattoo and shoot guns.

llama, that's going to be some good BBQ! Saxi, I like a guy that can work around no boners without pills. Betiko, he will ignore me and I can do my own thing.

[nietzsche]

next: armati

[mookiemcgee]

In your opinion what is the critical factor that makes Russia the best country in the world?