Conquer Club

Joke Time!

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Re: Joke Time!

Postby Dukasaur on Thu Dec 21, 2017 5:23 am

Is there enough free time in my schedule today that I can read mets' joke?
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Re: Joke Time!

Postby KoolBak on Thu Dec 21, 2017 2:36 pm

What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

One's a little lighter.
"Gypsy told my fortune...she said that nothin showed...."

Neil Young....Like An Inca
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Re: Joke Time!

Postby tzor on Thu Dec 21, 2017 3:06 pm

Truth in advertising ... all of my worst ones comes from my barbershop quartet's bass

It was a dark evening that Christmas Eve; the three workers partied long into the night and were well above the legal limit when they got into their car, drive way too fast and crashed into the side of the road. The crash was fatal. (Yes this is a bad way to start a joke ...)

There before the pearly gates they stood before a somber St. Peter who flipped pages back and forth in his book. "I'm sorry guys, but looking at your record there is no way you can enter the pearly gates. But, it is Christmas and I suppose I could let you in providing you show some proof. If you have anything related to Christmas I'll let you in."

The first guy searched his pockets and pulled out his car keys. Shaking them he said, "Jingle Bells?"

"A little thin," St. Peter said, "but I'll let you in."

The second guy was more panicked. He pulled out his lighter and lit it. "Christmas Lights?"

"Even thinner," St. Peter replied but he let him in as well.

The third one was in a complete state of panic. The only thing he had was a pair of ladies' pink panties. With that he held it up before St. Peter.

"Carol's?"
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Re: Joke Time!

Postby mrswdk on Sat Dec 23, 2017 12:19 pm

What did Santa put under Nikki Haley’s tree?

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betiko wrote:When exactly has china not been the king of the world?

思想自由 兼容并包
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Re: Joke Time!

Postby DoomYoshi on Sat Jan 13, 2018 9:26 am

This article is a treasure trove.
http://www.weeklystandard.com/jews-and-their-jokes/article/2011118

What is the ultimate Jewish dilemma:
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What does a Jewish American Princess make for dinner?
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For never was a story of more woe
Than this of Juliet and her Romeo
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Re: Joke Time!

Postby mrswdk on Sat Jan 13, 2018 12:56 pm

DoomYoshi wrote:This article is a treasure trove.
http://www.weeklystandard.com/jews-and-their-jokes/article/2011118

What is the ultimate Jewish dilemma:
show


What does a Jewish American Princess make for dinner?
show


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betiko wrote:When exactly has china not been the king of the world?

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Re: Joke Time!

Postby riskllama on Sat Jan 13, 2018 5:12 pm

DoomYoshi wrote:This article is a treasure trove.
http://www.weeklystandard.com/jews-and-their-jokes/article/2011118



yeah, was good - thx for sharing.
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