Conquer Club

Tell me your funniest puke story...

This is mine, I was making out with this great looking girl in the back of a station wagon. We were both drunk. I puked all over her! LOL! I didn't get lucky that night...what really sucks is that I had just eaten sphagetti that night too. YEEEYUCK!

This topic ends here because all these stories are gonna be fake. Including yours.

Edit:
Actually heres the life of this topic so it dosen't happen

Lots of Fake Stories
Lots of Puke Pics
Gets De-Railed
Religious Discussion or some other "deep" talks, just people bitching.

Fades away.

Now we don't need it.

Well, my most recent particularly embarrassing puke story (though not the last time I puked, unfortunately), took place while I was in Brazil a couple of months ago.

I was visiting my friend. Her whole workplace was going on a tour of the wine country in the South and I went with them. Unfortunately, the night before I had gotten totally smashed on caipirinhas, smoked out with some strangers we met on the street, boozed a whole heck of a lot more, and puked from about 4am to 5am. I got about an hour of sleep before we left the next morning for this wine tour. Obviously I didn't want to drink wine. I didn't even want to be there. Every half hour, whenever we stopped somewhere, I kept going to the bathroom and leaning over the toilet, because I felt all morning like I was going to puke. It never came though. Undoubtedly, everyone thought I had diarrhea, as much time as I was spending in bathroom stalls. I didn't have any wine at first, but we made this stop at a sheep farm where they sell sheep cheese and whatnot. As soon as I got out of the van, I puked right in front of the sheep farmhouse. All the farmer's wives were cooing me and bringing me carbonated water, which they figured would cure me. I was apologizing profusely and lying, saying that I had motion sickness, except in my illness I'd forgotten the word for motion sickness, so I'm sure my excuse was even less convincing that it possibly could have been. I felt way better afterwards though, especially once I started petting little lambs. I had like 10 bottles of carbonated water, and maybe it did cure me. Maybe it did. I felt well enough to start boozing again, anyway.

I haven't puked in like 10 years

and thats a true story

I puked in my friend's jug of water. It was hilarious.

misterman10 wrote:I haven't puked in like 10 years

and thats a true story

Yeah, but you're also 12 years old and haven't had food poisoning yet. ;)

MeDeFe wrote:

misterman10 wrote:I haven't puked in like 10 years

and thats a true story

Yeah, but you're also 12 years old and haven't had food poisoning yet.

Oh god, there's nothing worse.

I got food poisoning on New Year's 2005, when eating some exotic sushi. I have never felt more shite than that and I have never touched sushi again.

I puked corn soup about a month ago and it was disgusting. I kept holding on to it when I didn't meant to. Not sure if it was food poisoning or not, but after the puke I felt a lot better.

I was in a porn film and I was trying to give this guy deep-throat, but he kind of slipped down my oesophagus and it triggered my gag-reflex so hard that I puked all over his crotch.

The whole day's shooting was ruined, and now I can't find work in the industry again.

But there kind of is a funny side to it if you stare hard enough.



Honibaz

The first time I cooked for myself I up chucked all over the place and had massive heart burn and fainted into my own vomit.

I was boasting about a multi-billion pound deal that I had just pulled off in a millionaires club on a secret island, to a number of world leaders. They were very respectful to me.

Jenna jameson and Jennifer Aniston (who were both queueing up to speak to me) were both sooo impressed that they quietly offered their bums to me.

I took them into a quiet room, and reamed the pair of them, 7 times each.

I then belched heartily, and a little bit of sick came up, but no-one noticed.

I then proceded to tell Al Gore how I wanted him to spend his money, and advised paul wolfowitz of some duties that I wanted him to carry out.

All in all, a 7/10 night.

Dancing Mustard wrote:I was in a porn film and I was trying to give this guy deep-throat, but he kind of slipped down my oesophagus and it triggered my gag-reflex so hard that I puked all over his crotch.

The whole day's shooting was ruined, and now I can't find work in the industry again.

But there kind of is a funny side to it if you stare hard enough.



Honibaz

What really annoyed me was that you didn't offer to clean it up afterwards.

It was a kind of awkward situation really, kind of forgot my table-manners in the heat of the vom-filled moment.

I'm sure that given time you will grow to understand the predicament I was in.

I felt sick all afternoon, I go to sleep, my brother runs in and turn the light on at 12, I wake up, puke all over the floor. Go to the bathroom and puke more. Before that I hadn't puked in 11 years.

Dancing Mustard wrote:I'm sure that given time you will grow to understand the predicament I was in.

I'm growing right now....

My worst involves puke, diarrhoea and my bed. Needless to say I didnt go to school the next day and the mattress still has the stain.

KiwiTaker wrote:My worst involves puke, diarrhoea and my bed. Needless to say I didnt go to school the next day and the mattress still has the stain.

you still...sleep in it?
i have no puke stories...i haven't puked in a few years, and it was all into proper places (a sink, or a toilet)

MeDeFe wrote:

misterman10 wrote:I haven't puked in like 10 years

and thats a true story

Yeah, but you're also 12 years old and haven't had food poisoning yet.

ya, im not stupid enough to get food poisoning, I'm 8 years old, get it right

misterman10 wrote:

MeDeFe wrote:

misterman10 wrote:I haven't puked in like 10 years

and thats a true story

Yeah, but you're also 12 years old and haven't had food poisoning yet.

ya, im not stupid enough to get food poisoning, I'm 8 years old, get it right

Ha Ha, because making fun of your self makes you funny!

Ha.. ha..

Being in Malaysia once, in Kaula Lumper, in that morning I ate a pretzel and then went back to my hotel. After we left the hotel, 5 minutes later I had to run back to the hotel because I was about to vomit.. Vomitting 4 times in 2 hours is not fun.

My friend. Oh god that was annoying. We went to a party that night at the beach. At midnight we decided to walk home cause it was good too. For a whole half an hour he was fine, except when we got home and went downstairs, he decided to vomit on his way to the bathroom... He stepped in it and got it everywhere.. The smell stayed around for about a week..

okay I have 2... One was that I wasnt smart I mixed wine and jagermeister and rum ect all together and threw up on my best friends tomato bushes...while at one point soon after watching her wash them and eventually they got eaten...(sick kinda but thats a true friend when they dont care that you threw up on the tomatos they ate!) lol.

Second was when I was younger my brother got sick and he did one thing I still cant believe to this day...He threw up all over me..I had to get new clothes and everything it was soooooooooo sick!!!

I puked all night long last night.

Avron wrote:This topic ends here because all these stories are gonna be fake. Including yours.

Edit:
Actually heres the life of this topic so it dosen't happen

Lots of Fake Stories
Lots of Puke Pics
Gets De-Railed
Religious Discussion or some other "deep" talks, just people bitching.

Fades away.

Now we don't need it.

This story was not fake!

First time I got properly drunk I threw up 7 times, all over myself and the surrounding area. Luxkily I hadnt eaten anything so it was just.... green

The funniest is when I got high and ate so much that I vomited at my house. My dad asked if I drank the following day. Close, but no cigar.