Conquer Club

Found this on the web, thought it was pretty funny enjoy.



TRADITIONAL ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies and the economy grows.
You retire on the income.

INDIAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You worship them.

PAKISTAN ECONOMICS
You don't have any cows.
You claim that the Indian cows belong to you.
You ask the US for financial aid, China for military aid,
British for Warplanes, Italy for machines, Germany for
technology, French for submarines, Switzerland for loans,
Russia for drugs and Japan for equipment. You buy the cows
with all this and claim of exploitation by the world.


AMERICAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You sell one and force the other to produce the milk
of four cows. You profess surprise when the cow drops dead.
You put the blame on some nation with cows & naturally that
nation will be a danger to mankind. You wage a war to save
the world and grab the cows.

FRENCH ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.

GERMAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You reengineer them so that they live for 100 years, eat once
a month and milk themselves.

BRITISH ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
They are both mad cows.

ITALIAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You don't know where they are.
You break for lunch.

SWISS ECONOMICS
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
You charge others for storing them.

JAPANESE ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You redesign them so that they are one-tenth the size of an
ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then
create cute cartoon cow images called Cowkimon and market
them worldwide.

RUSSIAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 17 cows.
You give up counting and open another bottle of vodka.

iSRAELI ECONOMICS
You have 2 cows
You arm them, and send them into a palestinian village

AFRICAN ECONOMICS
You have 2 cows
You eat them both
2 days later you are hungry
You starve

WELSH ECONOMICS
You have 2 cows
The cows are sexually abused

RUSSIAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 17 cows.
You give up counting and open another bottle of vodka.

sad but true
( and funny)

No1 liked my COWS?!

My history teacher has a "Cow Chart" with this same thing

soundout9 wrote:My history teacher has a "Cow Chart" with this same thing

u got one awesome history teacher

CC Economics:

You have 2 cows, you invest them with mod powers.

whump prays to the cows

The cows eat Norse.


Honibaz eats the cows.

Twill has a good one with the cows.

English cowenomics
you have 2 cows
you go and get pissed
the cows escape
you start a national scandal and all cows get killed

American cowenomics
you have 2 cows
you trade them to iran for a nuclear bomb
you bomb iraq
cena bombs you

Croatian cownomics

You have 2 cows but governament taxes 22% on every liter of milk they produce, then u get into credits to be able to pay the taxes and end up being in debt, then banks take from u one cow to settle the debt, and u have to sell other one to foreigners to pay the taxes. then various parties promise u they'll give u another cow but as soon as they elected they say that last governament sold all the cows and there not even a drop of milk left in the country. but they promise as soon as you get accepted to EU milk will flood the land. you then realise you'll never eat dairy products again.

that was amazing, can u get a poster with that on??!?!?1

TALIBAN CORPORATION

You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts.

Then you kill them and claim a US bomb blew them up while they were in the hospital.

POLISH CORPORATION

You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.

FLORIDA CORPORATION

You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.

Some of the people who like the brown one best, vote for the black one.

Some people vote for both.

Some people vote for neither.

Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.

Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which is the best-looking one.

NEW YORK CORPORATION

You have fifteen million cows.
You have to choose which one will be the leader of the herd, so you pick some fat cow from Arkansas.

DEMOCRAT

You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.

You feel guilty for being successful.

You vote people into office that put a tax on your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax.

The people you voted for then take the tax money, buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.

Barbara Streisand sings for you.

SOCIALIST

You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.

You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

REPUBLICAN

You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.

So?

COMMUNIST

You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.

You wait in line for hours to get it.

It is expensive and sour.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE

You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE

You have two cows.
The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE

You have two cows.
The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, and then pours the milk down the drain.

AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.

You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows.

You are surprised when one cow drops dead.

You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.

Your stock goes up.

French Cows

You dont have any, cos you sit around the whole time dreaming of when you were the biggest bully boy in Europe, not the Germans.

suggs wrote:French Cows

You dont have any, cos you sit around the whole time dreaming of when you were the biggest bully boy in Europe, not the Germans.

ill admit i had a clue what was coming and still laughed chuckled anyway.

Canada:
You have two cows. You sell them to the US and buy back the milk.

18th century Canada:
You have two beavers. You make a hat because its fucking cold. You die anyway.

USA:
You have two cows, and eat them all in one go, and lose a gobal empire cos you're too sick and fat to govern it properly.

"America, Your Heads Too Big,
Because America, Your Belly's Too Big...
And dont you wonder,
Why in Estonia,
They Say:
"Hey You, You Big Fat Pig/Cow."

Norse wrote:Twill has a good one with the cows.

oi my love, i live in gosport. you were horrible bout me in billy07 im not fat just have big jugs. my bruv has pompey tat on his arm. any other f*ck wit who wants to start can f*ck off. finished with the loser. who asked 4 a shag??? , cant rememeber.....bring it on if u have a big cock!!!? xx
by the way he doesnt come from s.shields. he (billy07) is britbloodthirsty

Australia has 2 cows

England gave them to us and we dont wanna give them back
we get them drunk!!

New Zealand has 2 cows

they think they are sheep......ill leave it at that

lord voldemort wrote:Australia has 2 cows

England gave them to us and we dont wanna give them back
we get them drunk!!

New Zealand has 2 cows

they think they are sheep......ill leave it at that

Nuff said

pollyuk wrote:

Norse wrote:Twill has a good one with the cows.

oi my love, i live in gosport. you were horrible bout me in billy07 im not fat just have big jugs. my bruv has pompey tat on his arm. any other f*ck wit who wants to start can f*ck off. finished with the loser. who asked 4 a shag??? , cant rememeber.....bring it on if u have a big cock!!!? xx
by the way he doesnt come from s.shields. he (billy07) is britbloodthirsty

What in odin's sweet name are you yapping on about? What in the world makes you think I want to put my manly shaped shrine of pure meat anywhere near your Gosport cob-webs? J