Conquer Club

Catholics can't masturbate, okay?

They also can't use contraception, right?

Therefore, assuming that the Catholic in question has the average 2 children, then a Catholic will only have 2 orgasms in his/her entire life.

How do you deal with that?

The Kurgan wrote:Catholics can't masturbate, okay?

They also can't use contraception, right?

Therefore, assuming that the Catholic in question has the average 2 children, then a Catholic will only have 2 orgasms in his/her entire life.

How do you deal with that?

They have a history with infertility.

The Kurgan wrote:Catholics can't masturbate, okay?

They also can't use contraception, right?

Therefore, assuming that the Catholic in question has the average 2 children, then a Catholic will only have 2 orgasms in his/her entire life.

How do you deal with that?

you only just figured that out?

The Kurgan wrote:Catholics can't masturbate, okay?

They also can't use contraception, right?

Therefore, assuming that the Catholic in question has the average 2 children, then a Catholic will only have 2 orgasms in his/her entire life.

How do you deal with that?

actually, i know somebody has a clever way of getting around this.

mr. incrediball wrote:

The Kurgan wrote:Catholics can't masturbate, okay?

They also can't use contraception, right?

Therefore, assuming that the Catholic in question has the average 2 children, then a Catholic will only have 2 orgasms in his/her entire life.

How do you deal with that?

actually, i know somebody has a clever way of getting around this.

More kids.

unriggable wrote:

mr. incrediball wrote:

The Kurgan wrote:Catholics can't masturbate, okay?

They also can't use contraception, right?

Therefore, assuming that the Catholic in question has the average 2 children, then a Catholic will only have 2 orgasms in his/her entire life.

How do you deal with that?

actually, i know somebody has a clever way of getting around this.

More kids.

actually, she got her husband (athiest) to wear contraception.

that'll probably be a new commandment: "thou shalt not exploit loopholes"

yeah no but...you kinda take those bits...sorta....metaphorically, i dunno....

On a more serious note, we can use NSP

Napoleon Ier wrote:yeah no but...you kinda take those bits...sorta....metaphorically, i dunno....

Metaphorical:
The bible

Literal:
The sequel (Biology 101)

Napoleon Ier wrote:yeah no but...you kinda take those bits...sorta....metaphorically, i dunno....

Napolean, there are just some threads that need to be left alone, this is one of those.

Aw, how cute, the Catholics are starting to feel guilty, once again. Catholicism = Guilt driven.

muy_thaiguy wrote:

Napoleon Ier wrote:yeah no but...you kinda take those bits...sorta....metaphorically, i dunno....

Napolean, there are just some threads that need to be left alone, this is one of those.

You're right. Sorry buddy. Thanks for looking out for me.

Since when do you have a kid every time you have sex with a girl? Plus, you can definitely have sex with a woman while she is preggo (first three months or so you cant even tell anyway, so no loss of sex drive for you), and she isn't going to have an extra kid from that! Pregnancy is the best birth control ever.
And withdrawal, which is allowed, is 85 or more % effective. That means that if you have sex for a year and use withdrawal method every time only 15% will get pregnant--not 15% of each sexual encounter.
And rhythm method is allowed, too, and might have better results.

Thats a whole lot of orgasms.

dacey wrote:Since when do you have a kid every time you have sex with a girl?

Uhh....

[points to riggable, reriggable, deriggable and exriggable]

dacey wrote:Since when do you have a kid every time you have sex with a girl? Plus, you can definitely have sex with a woman while she is preggo (first three months or so you cant even tell anyway, so no loss of sex drive for you), and she isn't going to have an extra kid from that! Pregnancy is the best birth control ever.
And withdrawal, which is allowed, is 85 or more % effective. That means that if you have sex for a year and use withdrawal method every time only 15% will get pregnant--not 15% of each sexual encounter.
And rhythm method is allowed, too, and might have better results.

Thats a whole lot of orgasms.

its a lot easier to put on a rubber though, and have the girl be on the pill.

got tonkaed wrote:its a lot easier to put on a rubber though, and have the girl be on the pill.

Most definitely true, but if you think you will be smote for doing so, there are many solutions to the whole "two orgasms a lifetime" thing.

And anyway, Catholics average more kids than two (at least in the US, since we average a little more than two each with bc).

dacey wrote:Since when do you have a kid every time you have sex with a girl? Plus, you can definitely have sex with a woman while she is preggo (first three months or so you cant even tell anyway, so no loss of sex drive for you), and she isn't going to have an extra kid from that! Pregnancy is the best birth control ever.
And withdrawal, which is allowed, is 85 or more % effective. That means that if you have sex for a year and use withdrawal method every time only 15% will get pregnant--not 15% of each sexual encounter.
And rhythm method is allowed, too, and might have better results.

Thats a whole lot of orgasms.

I need an orgasm...



















with a girl...

unriggable wrote:

dacey wrote:Since when do you have a kid every time you have sex with a girl?

Uhh....

[points to riggable, reriggable, deriggable and exriggable]

Are they actually your children?

I think pulling out is not allowed, either.

The Kurgan wrote:I think pulling out is not allowed, either.

I'm not Catholic, so I don't know. I was consulting a Catholic who said it was okay.

The Kurgan wrote:Catholics can't masturbate, okay?

They also can't use contraception, right?

Therefore, assuming that the Catholic in question has the average 2 children, then a Catholic will only have 2 orgasms in his/her entire life.

How do you deal with that?

Catholics are notorious sinners because they can just go to confession and have The Big Guy forgive everything by saying a couple Hail Mary's and an Our Father...

The Kurgan wrote:I think pulling out is not allowed, either.

I think it's allowed as long as you don't spill anything.

No. I'm pretty sure it's considered wrong by most hardline Catholics in this matter, there's that stroy of Onan in the Bible (and that's a year of Catechism talking)

DaGip wrote:

The Kurgan wrote:Catholics can't masturbate, okay?

They also can't use contraception, right?

Therefore, assuming that the Catholic in question has the average 2 children, then a Catholic will only have 2 orgasms in his/her entire life.

How do you deal with that?

Catholics are notorious sinners because they can just go to confession and have The Big Guy forgive everything by saying a couple Hail Mary's and an Our Father...

Nah but doesn;t work you have to actually mean them. Plus the embarrasmnt of owning up to rampant orgies to some 70something arch-conservative priest....

Napoleon Ier wrote:No. I'm pretty sure it's considered wrong by most hardline Catholics in this matter, there's that stroy of Onan in the Bible (and that's a year of Catechism talking)

Yea, but didn't he spill it and that was the reason God punished him?

fireedud wrote:

Napoleon Ier wrote:No. I'm pretty sure it's considered wrong by most hardline Catholics in this matter, there's that stroy of Onan in the Bible (and that's a year of Catechism talking)

Yea, but didn't he spill it and that was the reason God punished him?

Sure sure, (some serious Bible knowledge there, you didn't per chance attend my good friend ted haggard's jesus Camp did you ) but then I think the Church interprets that in the way that it was the fact he pulled out that was wrong. (I reckon also that he repeatedly denied her the chance for a child that she wanted,seems a bit harsh in ipse).
personally I ake vaguely more libertarian approach to it