Conquer Club

Early Marine Retirement

\\OFF-TOPIC// conversations about everything that has nothing to do with Conquer Club.

Moderator: Community Team

Forum rules
Please read the Community Guidelines before posting.

Early Marine Retirement

Postby DaGip on Thu Jan 31, 2008 2:25 am

I just received this from my brother in the Marines. It made me laugh :lol: :

The Marine Corps found they had too many Officers and senior Non Coms and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised anyone who volunteered for retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. They got to choose what those two points would be.



The first Officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.



The second Officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000.



The third one was a Senior noncommissioned officer, a grizzly old Sergeant Major who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, "From the tip of my weenie to my testicles."



It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the previous two officers had received. But the he insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer.



The medical officer arrived and instructed the SgtMajor to "drop 'em," which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the his weenie and began to work back. Dear Lord!" he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your testicles?"



The old Sergeant Major calmly replied, "Iraq."
Army of GOD wrote:This thread is now about my large penis
Image
User avatar
Sergeant 1st Class DaGip
 
Posts: 4047
Joined: Sat Feb 10, 2007 4:48 am
Location: Watertown, South Dakota

Postby Hologram on Thu Jan 31, 2008 2:33 am

Hahahahahahaha.

One of the greatest jokes I've heard, next to a Hitler one I once heard.
The inflation rate in Zimbabwe just hit 4 million percent. Some people say it is only 165,000, but they are just being stupid. -Scott Adams, artist and writer of Dilbert
User avatar
Cook Hologram
 
Posts: 345
Joined: Sun Feb 18, 2007 8:49 pm
Location: Armpit of America

Postby Iliad on Thu Jan 31, 2008 2:39 am

:lol: :lol:
User avatar
Private 1st Class Iliad
 
Posts: 10394
Joined: Mon Mar 05, 2007 12:48 am

Postby Tk 421 on Thu Jan 31, 2008 2:54 am

lol :o
Cook Tk 421
 
Posts: 419
Joined: Fri Aug 10, 2007 6:23 pm

Postby DaGip on Thu Jan 31, 2008 4:18 am

Hologram wrote:Hahahahahahaha.

One of the greatest jokes I've heard, next to a Hitler one I once heard.


Yes, yes...those good ol' Hitler jokes never get old...Ho! Ho! Ho!
Army of GOD wrote:This thread is now about my large penis
Image
User avatar
Sergeant 1st Class DaGip
 
Posts: 4047
Joined: Sat Feb 10, 2007 4:48 am
Location: Watertown, South Dakota

Postby Guiscard on Thu Jan 31, 2008 5:54 am

Think I've heard this before, but about Vietnam.
qwert wrote:Can i ask you something?What is porpose for you to open these Political topic in ConquerClub? Why you mix politic with Risk? Why you not open topic like HOT AND SEXY,or something like that.
User avatar
Private 1st Class Guiscard
 
Posts: 4103
Joined: Fri Dec 08, 2006 7:27 pm
Location: In the bar... With my head on the bar

Postby MeDeFe on Thu Jan 31, 2008 6:54 am

Good one!
saxitoxin wrote:Your position is more complex than the federal tax code. As soon as I think I understand it, I find another index of cross-references, exceptions and amendments I have to apply.
Timminz wrote:Yo mama is so classless, she could be a Marxist utopia.
User avatar
Major MeDeFe
 
Posts: 7831
Joined: Thu Apr 06, 2006 2:48 am
Location: Follow the trail of holes in other people's arguments.

Postby OnlyAmbrose on Thu Jan 31, 2008 9:31 am

:lol:
"The Nation that makes a great distinction between its scholars and its warriors will have its thinking done by cowards and its fighting done by fools."
User avatar
Corporal 1st Class OnlyAmbrose
 
Posts: 1797
Joined: Fri Oct 20, 2006 10:53 pm

Postby autoload on Thu Jan 31, 2008 9:32 am

Guiscard wrote:Think I've heard this before, but about Vietnam.

Same. It's an old joke.
User avatar
Major autoload
 
Posts: 3735
Joined: Wed Apr 19, 2006 12:37 am

Postby unriggable on Thu Jan 31, 2008 4:09 pm

Good joke.
Image
User avatar
Cook unriggable
 
Posts: 8037
Joined: Thu Feb 08, 2007 9:49 pm

Postby Frigidus on Thu Jan 31, 2008 4:30 pm

I hadn't heard it. Nice.
User avatar
Sergeant Frigidus
 
Posts: 1638
Joined: Thu Aug 30, 2007 1:15 pm
Location: Illinois, USA


Return to Practical Explanation about Next Life,

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users