Conquer Club

To All My Democrat Friends:

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2008, but not without due respect for other calendar years and the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great.

Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere. Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.

To My Republican Friends:

I WISH YOU A VERY GOOD WEEKEND!!!!!

You aiming for "Least Amusing Reactionary of CC"?
Congrats-you're a winner.
The first and last time thats been said to you.

GFY!

suggs wrote:You aiming for "Least Amusing Reactionary of CC"?
Congrats-you're a winner.
The first and last time thats been said to you.

So much for 'intelligent conversation'.....

brianm wrote:

suggs wrote:You aiming for "Least Amusing Reactionary of CC"?
Congrats-you're a winner.
The first and last time thats been said to you.

So much for 'intellegent conversation'.....

That was gone when you made this thread.

Optimistic of you, old boy.
But I'm as tribal as the next man-you take the piss out of Democrats, and you're gonna get a kicking.
English style, so it will be polite- polite like when we burned the Whitehouse to the ground

Democrats:
"Have a happy weekend."

Republicans:
"Terror Alert: High Orange! Buy duct tape and plastic sheeting! Stay in your Homes! There is a credible threat, but we don't know where, when, how, or who. So with all of that in mind, have a happy weekend."

Nice one brian



Here's an older one, but just as funny :

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges at you.You are carrying a 40 caliber Glock, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do? ..............................................................


THINK CAREFULLY AND THEN SCROLL DOWN


Democrat's Answer: Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Glock have an appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day, and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus. ..................................................

Republican's Answer: BANG!.....................................................

Democrats answer: shoot him in the knee/leg.
Practical, intelligent-thats us

suggs wrote:Democrats answer: shoot him in the knee/leg.
Practical, intelligent-thats us

Lau! Think of the healthcare costs honest citizens end up having to pay!

Napoleon Ier wrote:

suggs wrote:Democrats answer: shoot him in the knee/leg.
Practical, intelligent-thats us

Lau! Think of the healthcare costs honest citizens end up having to pay!

As a Republican once said "Taxes are the price we pay for living in a civilized society."

suggs wrote:Optimistic of you, old boy.
But I'm as tribal as the next man-you take the piss out of Democrats, and you're gonna get a kicking.
English style, so it will be polite- polite like when we burned the Whitehouse to the ground

Polite like the battle of New Orleans.

Grooveman2007 wrote:

suggs wrote:Optimistic of you, old boy.
But I'm as tribal as the next man-you take the piss out of Democrats, and you're gonna get a kicking.
English style, so it will be polite- polite like when we burned the Whitehouse to the ground

Polite like the battle of New Orleans.

Polite like Norse.

i thought the op was rather clever.

suggs wrote:Democrats answer: shoot him in the knee/leg.
Practical, intelligent-thats us

It would be far too risky, if the man is truely psychotic, and if you missed, you'd be a dead man. Always aim for the main body mass to ensure your saftey.

Grooveman2007 wrote:

suggs wrote:Optimistic of you, old boy.
But I'm as tribal as the next man-you take the piss out of Democrats, and you're gonna get a kicking.
English style, so it will be polite- polite like when we burned the Whitehouse to the ground

Polite like the battle of New Orleans.

You tells that lah-mey sunvabitch! Yessuh!