The female mind... WTF?!

[Dui]

Ok, let's discuss the female mind/females in general from the male point of view in this thread. I found those discussions most entertaining in the past.
Anyways, I'm sure most men can sympathize with me; sometimes, women are a mystery to us. This can apply to many things, i.e. never say bad things about your girl friend's "best friend", because that could mean you're talking bad about her as well, but then, you better make fun of her best friend because if you don't, you probably like her more, etc. etc., ad infinitum.
Lots of things I sometimes can't just keep up with. Usually, I do fairly well though and manage to avoid "accidental" arguments. Whoever is a man (and has a pair of balls) will understand what that means.
I know women's lack of humour when it comes to their looks, so I've been carefully avoiding making any jokes about that in the past, but, well, sometimes you're just careless, aren't you? Especially when you're not in real life but talking to someone over chat. Well, turned out it's even easier to make them upset than I had known.

Dui sagt:
whats your love life doing?
CaRito......!!! .. sagt:
nope im going out with another guy!
CaRito......!!! .. sagt:
he is 24 already graduated from university... and we have been going out for like 6 months
Dui sagt:
lol
CaRito......!!! .. sagt:
heyy wat about u.. ur love life
Dui sagt:
pure as... as... whats a good analogy?
Dui sagt:
ah yeah
Dui sagt:
pure as yours
CaRito......!!! .. sagt:
what.. lol bullshit lol
CaRito......!!! .. sagt:
tell me the truth.. have u been with another girl and yes u know what level i mean
Dui sagt:
explain
Dui sagt:
like
Dui sagt:
level 3?
Dui sagt:

CaRito......!!! .. sagt:
lol sex level!!!
CaRito......!!! .. sagt:
or still waiting for the right one
CaRito......!!! .. sagt:
one
Dui sagt:
oh im sorry, but i dont deem you old enough to know such dirty things
CaRito......!!! .. sagt:
hahaha shut upp lol
CaRito......!!! .. sagt:
tell me!
Dui sagt:
ahhh
Dui sagt:
my dirtly little secrets
Dui sagt:
cant spill em to ya
CaRito......!!! .. sagt:
ur not telling me
Dui sagt:
nah seriously
Dui sagt:
nothing else to tell besides what you already know
CaRito......!!! .. sagt:
so nothing yet..
CaRito......!!! .. sagt:
no special girl....
Dui sagt:
ahhhhh i dunno
Dui sagt:
the ONE
Dui sagt:
shes like veeery far away
CaRito......!!! .. sagt:
ohh
Dui sagt:
and going out with another
Dui sagt:
and i stand no chance against him
Dui sagt:
since hes older, already graduated from university...
Dui sagt:
you know... the usual stuff
CaRito......!!! .. sagt:
ohhh i see
Dui sagt:
lol
Dui sagt:
eh
Dui sagt:
im giving you a hint so you understand the joke
CaRito......!!! .. sagt:
yes i know WHAT U MEAN!! haha
Dui sagt:
(shes columbian)... but psht
CaRito......!!! .. sagt:
colombian
Dui sagt:
whatever
Dui sagt:
same stuff
CaRito......!!! .. sagt:
haha
Dui sagt:
all tanned with big boobs
Dui sagt:

CaRito......!!! .. sagt:
shut the f*ck up!
CaRito......!!! .. sagt:
hahaha
CaRito......!!! .. sagt:
u perv
Dui sagt:
ahhh
Dui sagt:
you know nothing of my dirty side
CaRito......!!! .. sagt:
oh but i do!
Dui sagt:
nah
Dui sagt:
well ok
Dui sagt:
a tiny part
Dui sagt:
lol
CaRito......!!! .. sagt:
i would say.. a big grabing part lol
Dui sagt:
possibly even the groping part
Dui sagt:
or the poke-the-breast part
Dui sagt:
not too sure about that one, though
CaRito......!!! .. sagt:
f*ck u!
CaRito......!!! .. sagt:
lauras boobs were bigger
Dui sagt:
if thats what turns you on...
Dui sagt:
yeah no shit
Dui sagt:
yours are like oranges in comparison to her melons
CaRito......!!! .. sagt:
hahahhaa
Dui sagt:
ahhh
Dui sagt:
noo
Dui sagt:
im kidding
CaRito......!!! .. sagt:
oh u hd time to compare them
Dui sagt:
never make jokes about a girls look lol
Dui sagt:
eh thats all we did when you werent around carito
CaRito......!!! .. sagt:
what
Dui sagt:
comparing your boobs
CaRito......!!! .. sagt:
hahah ok tell me ur conclusions about us
Dui sagt:
k
Dui sagt:
you may never wanna talk to me again
CaRito......!!! .. sagt:
ok
Dui sagt:
well
Dui sagt:
in conclusion
Dui sagt:
she was shaved, you werent
CaRito......!!! .. sagt:
shaved .. lol where
Dui sagt:
eh you know where
CaRito......!!! .. sagt:
hahah how do u know...
Dui sagt:
then we agreed that you had a bad breath
Dui sagt:
and sweated quite a bit
Dui sagt:
whereas laura
Dui sagt:
ah... she was a goddess
Dui sagt:
so perfect, so pure, beautiful and a gift from the gods
Dui sagt:
everthing men could ever desire
CaRito......!!! .. sagt:
ok......
Dui sagt:
lol
Dui sagt:
im kidding
Dui sagt:
i hope you know that
CaRito......!!! .. sagt:
r u serious..
CaRito......!!! .. sagt:
tell me the truth
Dui sagt:
oO
Dui sagt:
what trut
Dui sagt:
i was joking
Dui sagt:
lol
Dui sagt:
woops
Dui sagt:
erm
Dui sagt:
seriously
Dui sagt:
i was kidding lol
Dui sagt:
we never compared you
CaRito......!!! .. sagt:
yeah ok i belive that!!
Dui sagt:
lol
Dui sagt:
i can tell you dont
Dui sagt:
meh... this conversation was supposed to be funny... now i fell into the trap of femal judging mayhem
Dui sagt:
lol
Dui sagt:
seriously carolina
Dui sagt:
i was just making that stuff up
Dui sagt:
neways... since youre not talking to me
Dui sagt:
im off
Dui sagt:
bye


Note that she still isn't talking to me, and most likely thinks I was serious. Well, wtf?! Wasn't it obvious that I was being sarcastic?
That was just an example how quick something can deterioate. So, anyone else has something simliar to say?

[suggs]

Basically, being funny is always good, but NEVER take the piss out of them until you are already going out. Unless they genuiniely seem up for that sort of humour. Make jokes about other things, films, that Turnip who was walking down the street yesterday etc. Hopefully funnier than that.

But early days, lots of small, LIGHT HEARTED compliments are the way forward.
And, I remind you, I did meet a girl once, so I know what I'm talking about
Women are sensitive souls.

[Snorri1234]

Bitches are a mystery, man.

[Gregrios]

This whole scenerio reminds me of the phrase, "Leave while the goings good." If you follow this simple rule, the odds of you getting your foot in your mouth are alot less. It was obvious that you were starting to run out of things to say. That is your cue to LEAVE WHILE THE GOINGS GOOD.

[Minister Masket]

Face it, you walked yourself into that one.

[Mjinga]

I can't tell you nothin' from a male pov, since I ain't male, but from a female pov... listen to suggs on this one, brother, listen to suggs.

[JACKAZZTJM]

SNAKEY SNAKEY could give you a few good pointers

[Frigidus]

SNAKEY SNAKEY could give you a few good pointers

Agreed, he's a heron.

[SolidLuigi]

She knows you were joking, or at least believed you after you told her you were joking. From what I read in your convo you have shown her you still like her. Now that she knows this, she is giving you the silent treatment and pretending to be mad to see what you do, how you react. What you do now will determine future events. You have to understand that women see men as their little lab rats and if you do a good job on their sick little tests than you might be worthy.

[wicked]

And, I remind you, I did meet a girl once, so I know what I'm talking about

your mom doesn't count!

[suggs]

Wheres my cheese?

[PipPip]

Usual scenario:

Walk into bar

Me - Hi

Random girl - Hi

Me -Sex?

Random girl - K.

[InkL0sed]

Usual scenario:

I walk into bar

Random girl - What a joke.

[muy_thaiguy]

Usual scenario:

I walk into bar

Random girl - What a joke.

That's just depressing.

[lilacfrostyness]

Yeah... you still said quite a few things you shouldn't have.

Oranges to melons, not cool.
Unless you follow up with something saying that hers are better because..... they're more perky? whatever your reason.

Let's see......
everything after that pretty much sucked.

Women's minds are too complex for you,
You'll just hurt yourself trying to understand.

[Sackett58]

Two words tames the savage beast: Haagen Dazs

[suggs]

And, I remind you, I did meet a girl once, so I know what I'm talking about

your mom doesn't count!

*dignified and pompous* It was my Aunite.

[suggs]

Two words tames the savage beast: Haagen Dazs

But they always want more, and steal the choc...

[Dariune]

I think you carried the joke on for too long. What you said was fine too start with. But i think you just ended up pissing her off.

I think the key is not to make them look like an idiot. Its fine to joke, even about them, but make sure the joke is funny to her as well. It helps if you know the girl well enough to know where her limits are but even if you dont just tread very carefully, gradually increasing the grade and length of joke until you find a comfortable place to be.

Thats just my two pence but then again, i dont know anything

[Dui]

Heh, lol, I didn't really intend this thread to turn out as an advice-for-me guide, as I do know how to treat women (usually, lol). This one conversation turned out to be entertaining at most, I'm not really too concerned about the outcome, since I haven't been talking to her before that for like 8 months.
I met her during my exchange year, and we were pretty comfortable making jokes like that (at least that's what I can remember), so it got me surprised to have her react like that. I know her quite well (or used to), that's why I was so bold to speak to her like that - usually, these aren't really quite the jokes I pull with females, but, well, I thought we were still close enough even after a long time of not talking to each other. Guess I was wrong, lol.
To Dariune: well, this is actually the place were we both are comfortable with - or at least, used to be comfortable with.

I guess women just can't be like us - I mean, if we talk to a pal we've last seen half a year ago, we don't really have to be super- careful when we make jokes.

[jiminski]

tease all women mercilessly about everything, as deep down they all love it.

[brooksieb]

man, i wish norse was still on here, lol what will he say?

Norse: muahahahahahaha
Some girl he captured: waaaaaaaaahhhhh! im scared....
Norse: SILENCE, I KILL YOU!!!!!