Conquer Club

My friends, i included, all wanted to see Rambo. She didn't. So i snuck her into my house via my side window (thank god i live on the first floor) and she just used the internet and napped or whatever until i came back from Rambo.

Rambo was fucking awesome btw.

Anyway so i come back and we're fucking around for a while, which we've done plenty before but she starts undoing my belt, something she'd never tried before. Then she asked if i had a condom, i didn't so i we just sat there like "f*ck". At this point it was like 2am.

So i tell her i'll be back in 20 minutes.

I go outside and get my little brother's small-ass bike with one flat tire. I rode it like 2 miles to a 7-11 past drag races and drug deals in the freezing cold. Let me mention it's also like 80% uphill. I just grabbed a box of 3 and was considering getting a monterey jack chicken taquito but i didn't have enough money.So I just got the taquito. Fucking delicious. Best decision I ever made.

SnakeySnakey wrote:My friends, i included, all wanted to see Rambo. She didn't. So i snuck her into my house via my side window (thank god i live on the first floor) and she just used the internet and napped or whatever until i came back from Rambo.

Rambo was fucking awesome btw.

Anyway so i come back and we're fucking around for a while, which we've done plenty before but she starts undoing my belt, something she'd never tried before. Then she asked if i had a condom, i didn't so i we just sat there like "f*ck". At this point it was like 2am.

So i tell her i'll be back in 20 minutes.

I go outside and get my little brother's small-ass bike with one flat tire. I rode it like 2 miles to a 7-11 past drag races and drug deals in the freezing cold. Let me mention it's also like 80% uphill. I just grabbed a box of 3 and was considering getting a monterey jack chicken taquito but i didn't have enough money.So I just got the taquito. Fucking delicious. Best decision I ever made.

You've never had a monterey jack chicken taquito? You have only just begun to live.

wait, so did you have sex?

Frigidus wrote:

SnakeySnakey wrote:My friends, i included, all wanted to see Rambo. She didn't. So i snuck her into my house via my side window (thank god i live on the first floor) and she just used the internet and napped or whatever until i came back from Rambo.

Rambo was fucking awesome btw.

Anyway so i come back and we're fucking around for a while, which we've done plenty before but she starts undoing my belt, something she'd never tried before. Then she asked if i had a condom, i didn't so i we just sat there like "f*ck". At this point it was like 2am.

So i tell her i'll be back in 20 minutes.

I go outside and get my little brother's small-ass bike with one flat tire. I rode it like 2 miles to a 7-11 past drag races and drug deals in the freezing cold. Let me mention it's also like 80% uphill. I just grabbed a box of 3 and was considering getting a monterey jack chicken taquito but i didn't have enough money.So I just got the taquito. Fucking delicious. Best decision I ever made.

You've never had a monterey jack chicken taquito? You have only just begun to live.

I'm celibate (read: vegan). Must resist temptation... for my immortal soul.

Hitman079 wrote:wait, so did you have sex?

It's a joke; none of this happened. And, for the sake of clarity, no the guy didn't.

it seemed real enough except the bike part

yer...
sure that happened
i lik eyour choice to get food instead of sex..

Hitman079 wrote:it seemed real enough except the bike part

I've heard the joke before. It's a classic.

I LOL'd.

sex is the bomb

Strange coincidence, i had very special evening as well:

I was heading home and i see this girl sneaking into some house through a window. Weird i think, but think none of it. Anyways, i get home and turn on the PC to play some CC and I get an IM from some chick. We chat and after while I find out she was the chick that went into the window. We keep chatting and and she says that her lame boyfriend abandoned her to go see some gay action flick. Long story short, I convince her to let me come over as i promise her some real action.

I knock on the window and she lets me in. We start fooling around but then we hear her lame boyfriend stumble in. So i hide in the closet and discover the guy's rather large collection of Victoria's Secret catalogs. The boyfriend seems to be pretty high on pot, so i don't really need to be careful about him not hearing me. In the meantime, the girl thinks of an easy way of getting rid of him knowing that he's too immature to have any condoms laying around. So he heads off to some some night store while i'll go back to the chick. The girl is already warmed up (thanks to pot-head) so i got no prep work to do. We do the deed for about an hour knowing that guy is too stone to make the trek to 7-11 and back in 20 minutes. Even then, I leave after we have another go at it. I go outside and see the guy pass-out on the front yard with a Taquito in his mouth and few condoms next to him. He must of lost control coming back since it's roughly 80% downhill. The munchies can be quite dangerous...

I went home and slept like a baby.

kids still a virgin
Unless he got her to believe that the paper wrap from the tequito was a paper condom some young girls could be dumb enough

um how old are you?

condoms are for sailors man, aids is a myth.

that was a funny story.

and fellas who are posting after the OP, a gentleman and a gangster keeps his business to himself. never tells.

soundout9 wrote:um how old are you?

Me

i'd of found the story more credible if you had blown of Rambo so you could hang out with her, then had sex. Most of the girls I know would have been pretty pissed if you blew them off to go see a movie.

apey wrote:

soundout9 wrote:um how old are you?

Me

Nah, this snakey dude. Why did he ride his bike? he could have just drove if he was old enough.

then again if he is living with his parents then ya you wouldn't want to wake them up

Heimdall wrote:Strange coincidence, i had very special evening as well:

I was heading home and i see this girl sneaking into some house through a window. Weird i think, but think none of it. Anyways, i get home and turn on the PC to play some CC and I get an IM from some chick. We chat and after while I find out she was the chick that went into the window. We keep chatting and and she says that her lame boyfriend abandoned her to go see some gay action flick. Long story short, I convince her to let me come over as i promise her some real action.

I knock on the window and she lets me in. We start fooling around but then we hear her lame boyfriend stumble in. So i hide in the closet and discover the guy's rather large collection of Victoria's Secret catalogs. The boyfriend seems to be pretty high on pot, so i don't really need to be careful about him not hearing me. In the meantime, the girl thinks of an easy way of getting rid of him knowing that he's too immature to have any condoms laying around. So he heads off to some some night store while i'll go back to the chick. The girl is already warmed up (thanks to pot-head) so i got no prep work to do. We do the deed for about an hour knowing that guy is too stone to make the trek to 7-11 and back in 20 minutes. Even then, I leave after we have another go at it. I go outside and see the guy pass-out on the front yard with a Taquito in his mouth and few condoms next to him. He must of lost control coming back since it's roughly 80% downhill. The munchies can be quite dangerous...

I went home and slept like a baby.

Wow, what a strange twist of fate.

strike wolf wrote:i'd of found the story more credible if you had blown of Rambo

To be fair, is there anybody here wouldn't enjoy a story where somebody blows Rambo (and lives to tell about it)?

I should start a thread called "Post your best stories about blowing Rambo" or something...

Dancing Mustard wrote:
I should start a thread called "Post your best stories about blowing Rambo" or something...

One night I was so bored that I rented Rambo 3....

Here, that's a good start.

SnakeySnakey wrote:I go outside and get my little brother's small-ass bike with one flat tire. I rode it like 2 miles to a 7-11 past drag races and drug deals in the freezing cold. Let me mention it's also like 80% uphill.

Listen to that determination

Lucky Se7en wrote:

SnakeySnakey wrote:I go outside and get my little brother's small-ass bike with one flat tire. I rode it like 2 miles to a 7-11 past drag races and drug deals in the freezing cold. Let me mention it's also like 80% uphill.

Listen to that determination

It's a 2-way trip. The ride home would be 80% downhill.

denominator wrote:

Lucky Se7en wrote:

SnakeySnakey wrote:I go outside and get my little brother's small-ass bike with one flat tire. I rode it like 2 miles to a 7-11 past drag races and drug deals in the freezing cold. Let me mention it's also like 80% uphill.

Listen to that determination

It's a 2-way trip. The ride home would be 80% downhill.

It was, and the result was that he lay passed out in the driveway.