Conquer Club

I was living down the shore for the summer, Wildwood NJ, 3am after a long night of parting i began to walk home. While walking a older guy came running up to me he was Mexican and drunk he was beat to a bloody pulp. He got on his knees and was begging me to help him. In my drunken stoupor i shooed him away and kept walking , behind me i heard screaming I turned around and saw him running into the ally being chased by younger thuggish drunk mexicans.

I was in a bad mood and really didnt care what happened to the guy but decided to go back just to throw some fists......help him out and in return let loose of some frustration. When i got to the ally there was a young Mexi at the entrance i gave him one WEEK ASS punch and ran into the ally and started swinging on anyone around me. A bunch of young Mexis started to jump me I mean they beat the fuckin shit out of me. While i was on the ground i looked up and saw the older mexican running away I was helping the dude and he RAN AWAY!!!!!!!!! Now this was a pretty bad beating i thought i was done thats when it happened....BOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM.....a nasty explosion erupted and the beating stopped. There was chanting and cheering from the young Mexi mob...like they fucking forgot they were beating me senceless. I got up and looked over and a car was ablaze these punks blew the older Mexis car up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This was down the street from the fire and police department in less than 3 mins the cops were there i ran my ass off hopped a few backyards and watched these punks get arrested from the comfort of my balcony 3 broken ribs fractured sinus and a broken nose is what i got !!!!!!!

DAM THAT NIGHT SUCKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What do u guys got?

give one of ur drunkest stories people cmon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I got a blow job from a 45 year old bald Filipino guy one time.

Why do I get the feeling this is another one of those memes/parodies?

there have been more than a few "drunken adventures" in my travels, but that's not the sort of thing for internet chat rooms.

it's better kept inside the pub.

Got drunk one night with a friend in a forest, dont remember much but i remember seeing a cross breed between a boar and a racoon...We see it crawling along this fence, and the damn thing was snarling, it was too big to be a racoon and it sounded nothing like one, but a flipping boar doesnt climb on fences...

So being drunk i end up chasing after it, calling after it "BOARCOON!"
Fell down and lost it...My friend was sober for the record and he can tell ya that this thing was probaly the freakiest lookin shit ever

Mine is way to embarrassing to tell. My hubby gets a good laugh from his friends when he tells the story though. I get pissed at him for telling it.

Can't remember, probably don't want too.

got drunk in grade nine and told off a bigggg body builder at the beach......
how dare he laugh at me trying to walk drunk in the sand

Hmmm probs the craziest i had was i was out with a group of mates getting drunk at the pub. We did a bit of a pub crawl and after 6 hours and more pints than i can remember i got para. My mate who is 6ft 4" asked if i wanted him to carry me to the club as i couldnt walk.

I said yes. However as he was for some reason running he dropped me and i broke my hand. I was too gone to notice the two breaks in my wrist at this point.

Outside the club another friend of mine and me decide to get into a bit of manly playfighting. It was going well until the police came over and arrested my friend despite us both saying that we were just messing around.

Deciding this was injust a decide to break my friend out of the police riot van and so i push past the cop standing by the die of the van and tell my friend to run. He, having had a few as well, says "nope, im gonna break out on my own" and then proceeded to start kicking the back door of the van. The police man i pushed then shuts the van door on my already broken hand. Once again i didnt notice.

I managed to get into the club and i was dancing with a few mates. I decided it would be a top idea to grab onto the ceiling poles and dangle from my legs. Realising that i cant grip the pole with my left hand for what was then, an unknown reason i haul myself up with my right hand. The bouncers dont like this much and try to get me down which my mates decide isnt fair and bundle the bouncers. I dropped down from my vantage point to join in the bundle and all hell breaks loose.

Outside of the club with a black eye and a fractured rib i decide to go home. The next morning i had to go to hospital to have my hand put in plaster for 6 weeks.

Went drinking with my buds who co-own a tattoo and body art shop. By the end of the night I wound up getting my nimple pierced.

Last night, the 'designated driver' had 9 beers. We drove around for a good hour and a half.

Bless Odin...what a question.

My whole existence has turned into a drunken fiasco...however, this one shivers me timbers especially:

Me and 10 college mates had just finished our A-level exams, and decided to go on a week's "lads holiday" to Tenerife. We arrived at our apartments at 11 am...perfect time to explore the area before unpacking and going out for the evening...except we just chucked our bags down, and went straight onto the beach with numerous cheaply-acquired bottles of vodka and san-miguel.

So, by 6pm, before even thinking about going back to our apartments to get ready for the evening, we we're all bladdered. Finally by 8pm, we were a loud, broody drunken bunch of washed, "out on the town" scallies.

The evening was nonetheless enjoyable and well-mannered, until around about 11pm. 4 of us had ventured into a dodgy part of "playas de las americas" where many various "entrepeneurs" ply their trade. Being the responsible one, I had nothing to do with the ensuing group of hookers, that 3 of my mates decided to get sucky-sucky off of...and i myself retired to a bar close by, where I would meet them a little later on. I got chatting with some locals, and all was well......

That is, until one of my mates about 10 minutes later comes running in, holding his bleeding stomach, crying for help.

Now, I was obviously a little concerned, and got the bar tenders to call for an ambulance and look after him whilst I tracked down the other chaps in the group.

I ran out of the door to look for them, and found one on the floor about 50 yards down the road, unconcious, but seemingly ok. I slapped him until he woke...I was now panicking, and after 20 seconds he came around...he hadn't any recollection of what had gone on...I just directed him down towards the pub, and went on the hunt for the missing member..

I must've only been running about for about 3 minutes, but it seemed like an hour...due to my panicking, not knowing where this other guy was...I slowed down for a breather in a side alley, exhausted, and heard a familiar voice.....

"You like that? Go on, suck it"

It was my mate, being blown off by some slut, but now was not the time to be reserved with these things, and I interrupted them, and told him to come with me...

ANYWAY

It transpires, not to my knowledge at the time, that my mate who was stabbed, was actually stabbed by a 6 foot transvestite lady-man, who he wouldnt pay for the service of, who in turn got offended and stabbed him....who then chased my other mate up the road, and Knocked him to the floor, after he tried to defend the first one.......who then happened to run into the third friend of mine who had gone "walkies"..and..well........ya.......a tranny blew him off.

But, it doesnt stop there...These three fuckers, now all in the pub where I have collected them all together, decide to all go down the ambulance, whilst I hang back and find the other chaps in my group, to tell them the situation..

I flag down a taxi, to take me back to the bar I had been in previously, and find that I have lost my wallet in the mayhem before hand.....the fucker won't let me out of the taxi until I've paid him, and I cant rememeber the name of my hotel I'm staying in to find more funds....finally I give him my only possesion....my beloved rolex watch to set me free......only to find that my other mates had left this bar....leaving me a penniless drunk twat, not knowing where the f*ck I am, or where my hotel was.....

Around about 2pm the next afternoon (roughly about 12 hours later), after tireless walking around in circles, I find the other 6 of my friends sat on the same beach we were on the previous day....they hadnt even raised an eyebrow that the other 4 of us had dissapeared...and when I told them the story (bearing in mind, that at this point, the whole "tranny" thing was still not known to me) they head straight down the hospital, whilst I promptly collapsed into my hotel bed.

The chap who was stabbed was fine, though in hospital for 3 of the 7 days on holiday (funnily enough, he was the only member of the party who took out holiday insurance...)

What a fucking night.

Never again..though, I have a life-times worth of artillery on my "tranny-loving" mate.

Holy shit, that story would make me quit drinking if I were you. Scary stuff.

i once ran around in the snow butt-ass naked. this was a couple of days after i passed out and fell into a fire pit at my friends house.

oh, and the time i tried to kill myself. wait, that was like 2 times...

god i should really stop drinking.


by the way kids: don't drink underage. i do it and it's ruining my life.

Shared a glass of wine with a girl once.

suggs wrote:Shared a glass of wine with a girl once.

thats a great story. did you touch her tits afterwards?

suggs wrote:Shared a glass of wine with a girl once.

bold choice, hope you didnt catch anything....

*Im not going to ruin my post teenage years with a pregnancy!

*will only be funny if you come into contact with those ridculous stay teen advertisments*

whitestazn88 wrote:

suggs wrote:Shared a glass of wine with a girl once.

thats a great story. did you touch her tits afterwards?

I touched her hand. She pressed her rape alarm. Usual drunken fiasco.
I deserved it.

got tonkaed wrote:

suggs wrote:Shared a glass of wine with a girl once.

bold choice, hope you didnt catch anything....

*Im not going to ruin my post teenage years with a pregnancy!

*will only be funny if you come into contact with those ridculous stay teen advertisments*

I was drunk, OK? I know it was bloody irresponsible, and now she has little Suggsy to look after, and I'm on the streets living out of a bean bag.
Oh god, the demon drink.
I'm sorry, Gertrude. I'm so sorry.

suggs wrote:

whitestazn88 wrote:

suggs wrote:Shared a glass of wine with a girl once.

thats a great story. did you touch her tits afterwards?

I touched her hand. She pressed her rape alarm. Usual drunken fiasco.
I deserved it.

if she presses the alarm, take it and put it in another chick's purse. then take her out back and punch her til she passes out. it works for me

Ah, but I'm not a gentleman.

suggs wrote:
I touched her hand. She pressed her rape alarm. Usual drunken fiasco.
I deserved it.

Dude.....make sure you cut off the phoneline before "working your magic"

Schoolboy error.

Spilled someones drink once.
Me and my mates still love talking about that.

I once flashed my willy at a lady with big tits......mind, I was 7 years old, and changing in the swimming baths.

Happy days.